On Wednesday, we invited readers to appoint themselves "Pittsburgh's Poet Laureate For a Day." Following a traditional obligation of the post, they were asked to create rhyming work to commemorate an important civic occasion: in this case, the May 15 Primary Elections.

Forthwith, here is a selection of submitted verse. Many thanks to all contributors.

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	Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette Click photo for larger image.

'The Ravenstahl'

Once upon a primary dreary, while I pondered meek and
leery, over many a curious volume of forgotten
lore -- while I nodded (really napping!) sullenly
there came a tapping, then the sound of someone
yapping, yapping at the council chamber door.

"It's some Citizen, I muttered, yapping at the council
chamber door, begging me to try and run for Mayor.

Only this and nothin' more."

Yoi! Distinctly, I remember, it was in the bleak
November, and each separate dying ember wrought its
ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow, vainly had I sought to
borrow, from my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow
'cause I cannot run for Mayor.

Peduto's stuck in council evermore!

Then, me thought the air grew denser, perfumed from an
unseen censer, swung by seaphim whose footfall
tinkled on the council chamber floor.

Luke! I cried, my staff hath sent thee -- by these
angels he hath sent thee

Respite! Respite and several six-packs of the beer
that I adore.

Oh, Luke! I really really want to run for Mayor.

Quaff, oh quaff, this great Penn Pilsner, help me
forget I cannot run for Mayor, the sorrow that I
cannot run for Mayor.

Quoth The Ravensthal: "No Way, Jose! and Nevermore!"

-- M.J. Place, Regent Square

'Primary Dejection'

Alas, I'm not devoted
To the people on the ballot.
I'd just as soon have voted
For a cauliflower or shallot.

-- Linda Bosson, Squirrel Hill

'Primaries 2007: Western Pa.'

Should I vote Good job! and return Onorato?
but I just rode a bus with "Rick for Exec" who said that he must go?
Same name? Ah, we love it, so Hughes, Flaherty, Perry and Pallone
in Western Pennsylvania, we'll vote you into office as home.
Luke the mayor is young and vibrant; he's running unopposed
so a watchdog named Lamb is someone we chose.
We breed great women judges here, as Baldwin and Allen have been
so we'll add more contenders: Donahue, Todd and Lally-Green.
Tax my income when a property tax would include the sale of a mall?
Schools are so important; I like the larger windfall!
I ask my 95-year-old mother, "Would going to vote now suit thee?"
She cries, "Ay Shakespeare, we must, it's our civic duty!"

-- Christine Aikens Wolfe, Point Breeze

Bill Minkler of Bethel Park offered this:

The best of the facts:
Act 1 got the ax.

and then e-mailed a half-hour later with "an even shorter version. Take your pick."

Act One
Is done.

"There is only one type of poetry appropriate to chronicle the election in Pittsburgh as well as the Republican Party here" wrote Jim Kennedy of Cranberry. "I give you the Pittsburgh Election Limerick."

Pittsburgh is Republican by day,
Regardless of what Democrats say,
The reason you must note,
Is that in the suburbs they all vote,
So at night they just all flee away!

The limerick appealed to Chad Hermann of Squirrel Hill, too:

When big races run uncontested
The political climate's infested
With back-alley scenes
And party machines
'Til all of democracy's molested

McCandless resident Michael W. Young (an English teacher at La Roche College) "didn't have time to do a complete sonnet -- and the lines run toward 12 instead of 10 syllables each (and forget about being iambic)":

'My Primary's Nothing Like the Sun'

How do we elect thee? Lo, let me count the ads.
Debate be but Act One and being seven ages
are taxes, but not so, and yet they are, egads,
and choices made, by our absence, on editorial pages.

If we appear a' polling, party on lutes, or Lukes.
Thee do race unopposed, or unexpected, or unexplain'd.
Tis better to have family and old photos, doth rebukes
diploma, particulars, anon. Vexed scholars cry vain'd

When choosing Justice Regular, Plus and Supreme.
To Vote or Not to Vote? Ah, Perchance to Dream?

The sonnet form also spoke to the North Side's Lisa Frank, who on Election Day "made 350 phone calls to voters, and when I went to vote myself at 8 p.m. discovered that I was only the 53rd person to show up in my ward."

'On Being Voter Fifty-Three'

Forty bucks and the pretty girl next door
Will mind my son that I might urge my peers
To vote. Flabby rights evidently bore
Friends, Romans, and Countrymen, whose screened ears,
Call-blocked and ID'd, are hard of hearing
Never mind lending, for who lends without
Interest? I can tell a lie, swearing
Your vote counts, though the Onoratorout,
The Ravensteal both posted ere lot one
Were cast. The body politic becramped,
Lacking mass to turn a tide, makes no run
At self-surprise. By Bill, we need revamped!
Go, regional latte! Burgeon! Wire-free!
Freedom: another belle dame sans merci.

Ms. Frank's neighbor, Joe Miksch, "in violation of the rhyming rule," offered this haiku:

Pittsburgh voted, good.
May we question its value?
The boy king remains.

---

As they said in the Psalms, our cup ran over with good poems from the Laureates of Pittsburgh. Here are another 10:

"Ravenstahl"

By "Judy Peckingham" (the female pseudonym of Carbolic Smoke Ball's "Judge Rufus Peckham" -- which is the male nom de plume of the actual writer Frances Monahan of Brentwood)

(To be sung to the tune of "Sam Hall" in the style of Johnny Cash)

Well my name is Ravenstahl, Ravenstahl
An' I won this here election at City Hall
My name is Ravenstahl, an' and I beat you, one and all
An' I'm movin' forward -- just wait come fall
Damn your eyes.

I beat a man they said, so they said
Beat him with my boyish looks, so they said
I slain him with my wit, an' smashed his ol' potato-head
An' I left him layin' dead
Damn his eyes.

But mud-slingin' I must go; I must go
Mud-slingin' I must go; I must go
Mud-slingin' I must go while you critters down below
Yell up: "Luke I told you so."
Well, damn your eyes!

[Instrumental Break]

I saw Erin in the crowd, in the crowd
I saw Erin in the crowd, in the crowd
I saw Erin in the crowd, and I hollered right out loud
Hey there Erin, "Ain't you proud?
"Damn your eyes."

Then the Sheriff, he came to, he came to
Ah yeah, the Sheriff he came to; he came to.
The Sheriff, I didn't know 'cause it weren't Pete DeFazio
An' I said, "Well Sheriff, what do you know?
"Damn your eyes."

My name is Ravenstahl, Ravenstahl
My face is plastered here and there and all
My name is Ravenstahl, an' I'm runnin' Ciy Hall
'Cause yinz all dropped the ball
Damn your eyes.

"2007: A Race Oddity"

By Michael A. Aquino, Mt. Lebanon

At a primary held in the Burgh,
The electorate failed to emergh.
With high seats uncontested
They yawned, sunned and rested.
On vote energy spent not an ergh.

To vote Burghers felt no compunction.
They're not forced to by any injunction.
Docs at UPMC
Say "Yes, we agree,
They've contracted electile dysfunction."

There's Lucky Lad Luke Ravenstahl.
Who's positioned to be a great pol.
Let's help him succeed
A great mayor we need
Not The Tyrant Of Tammany Hall.

Luke won his nom simply by running.
For him no opponent was gunning.
If we all had our druthers,
There'd be lots of others,
Some crazy, some cute, and some cunning.

Now Peduto once said he would run.
But one day, (why that son of a gun!)
Dropped out of the race.
That's such a disgrace,
Cause a race with one face is no fun.

Onorato, his land it did slide!
His breast must be bursting with pride!
Sad Richard P. Swartz
Had a hideous loss.
En masse voters cast him aside.

It was silly to vote on Act One.
We knew, because we're not dumb,
Whether income or land,
The taxman's hot hand
Will take tax in such whacks that we're numb.

Three Council incumbents were booted
Their careers most rudely uprooted
Jeff, Lennie and Twanda
In the wilderness wanda
Seeking work for which they're more suited.

Bruce Kraus, Pat Dowd, Rick Burgess,
Have caused this Councilian Mess.
Their storm of reform
Has upset the norm
And will put Mayor Luke to the test.

Mike Lamb got the nod for controller
He will watch for us every tax dollar
He'll attack pension funding,
Which is not such a fun thing
And ensure that our tax burden's smaller.

This election's kaput and complete.
The next will have even less meat
Dems have such an edge
GOPs sit on a ledge
Refusing to even compete.

Next time, all ye sun-bathing masses
Make sure that your turnout surpasses
This last one was dismal
It sure was abysmal
Get your butts to the booths -- off your grasses!

"Primary Election 2007"

By Rosemary K. Coffey, Shadyside

We flocked to the polls on May Fifteen --
That is, a few of us went.
We found it rather a quiet scene,
With no one eager to vent.

The names of the winners were mostly known,
Before we started to vote,
Which caused a number of us to groan
That we lacked surprises of note.

So why do we bother, year after year,
When others clearly don't care?
Is it because we still hold dear
The notion of playing fair?

We know we don't want some other plan
That simply announces who'll rule,
So we'd better get out and do what we can,
Lest we prove we're the greater fool.

"The Dawning of a New Day"

By Henry Lenard, Bellevue

As Primary Day dawned in America's Most Livable City
There was little public interest, and that was a pity.
For though many seats were unchallenged or opposition was token
The structure of Pittsburgh was still quite broken.

With unfunded pension plans and state oversight
The finances of Pittsburgh remain a great plight.
Yes, a new arena not funded by taxes is nice,
But does everything rely on a roll of the dice?

But lo and behold, change was a-comin'...
We didn't see it, but change was a-comin'...

Politics as usual would not rule this day
And the small band of voters would soon have their say.
Party and union endorsements no longer mattered
As slate cards were discarded, all torn and tattered.

Down went Carlisle, Koch and Bodack
The reformers were taking their city back.
And even Republicans may yet have their say
When write-in ballots are counted from that day.

Lo and behold, change is a-comin'...
We can't see it, but change is a-comin'...

Peduto may soon have colleagues of like mind
No more 8-1 votes, rubberstamped and signed.
And soon also a Lamb as the new fiscal watchdog
Reviewing the books and every expense log.

With fate giving Pittsburgh its young mayor
And voters acting as council incumbent-slayer,
This city still stuck long in the past
May finally be moving forward at last.

Lo and behold, change is a-comin'...
We will soon see it, change is a-comin'...

"Ode to Election Day"

By Maureen Kowalski, Brighton Heights

Dear fellow citizens I am concerned
about a rule that I have learned.
I could tell my choice to a little bird
but on primary election day my voice wasn't heard.
I wasn't sick, it's nothing like that
I'm not a registered Democrat.
Things didn't go as planned
I'm not a registered Republican.

I am registered Non-Partisan, imagine that.
Not Republican, not Democrat
Because I am not part of a larger political machine
my voice was not heard and I was not seen
voting in the primaries on Election Day
I'm not Independent, Communist or Green
but if I were I would not be seen
same goes if I were a Socialist or a vegetarian
claiming to be a Libertarian.

Our voices were not heard this election day
because of who we are we did not get our say
of who must go and who can stay.
America is a democracy state
but how can it be when the fate
lies between two political parties
and not WE the people ...

"Knights of the County Table"

By George Wagner, Bethel Park

Well it seems that Luke
Will be mayor for a while.
Was it his charm or his wit
Or his easy-going style?

It all started out
With a list that was long
But that shortened quickly
With nary a song.

But there was one
Who stuck to his guns
And he made quite a splash
Til he ran out of funds.

So Luke could run
Without worry or woe
Because Bill Peduto
Was no longer a foe.

And then there was Dan
Onorato by name
He heads the County
To bring forth his fame.

Another short contest
That went by so fast
There were a few takers
But they didn't last.

So Sir Dan and Sir Luke
Sit all alone
Atop of the heap
Looking down from their throne.

But what of the others
The others that ran?
Did their contests survive
According to plan?

So it all comes down
To the man in the street
That Dan and Luke
And the others would meet.

'Tis the pull of the lever
By them and their mates
Just the pull of that lever
Will determine their fates.

"Got the Pa. Primary Blues"

By Rick Schwab, Ligonier

Zounds, Ye Three Rivers!
Are yinz calling my name?
"The primaries are over," ya roar,
"Is that Pa. Legislature insane?"

"Act One? What a farce!
"And Ravenstahl untested!
"Yinz call this an Election
"or a Primary Wasted?"

But those touch-screen machines
Made it almost worth goin'
"What, did you forget to write in
a mayoral candidate in the bargain?"

"Come back, you're not finished!"
the machines shouted after me,
As I made my way down to
the Point of History.

Yes, I wanted to get away,
maybe take a dip in the Mon,
when I tripped over a drain
at Old Fort Duquesne!

As I righted myself
and dusted off my shoes
I thought of the politicians
who used to make news.

Where are the Lawrences?
What happened to Pete?
Do we need a Gen. Mellon
to get us back on our feet?

Are the timid politicians
leading us at all?
Is there no better choice
Than a Luke Ravensthal?

And will somebody wake up
that crowd on the Susquehanna,
Before they make this commonwealth
Another Louisiana?

And so that' my ballad
about voting in May,
may the November election
bring a little better fray!

By Mark Cohen, Forest Hills

What if we gave an election and nobody cared?
One nobody dared
To attend?

Could the old GOP
Write in two-fifty
When not even that many pretend
To attend?

An election so lame
We vote for a name
Not in the game

Tis the first vote we've seen
That bored even Bill Green
I think Katherine Harris
Would be embarrassed
By a primary day
Like we had that May
When nobody ran
Nobody won
Nobody lost
and nobody cared.

("Okay, so that doesn't all rhyme, but the 5 minutes attention I gave it was 5 more than anybody gave the primary.")

By Kweilin K. Wofford, Regent Square

Allegations, investigations for the misuse of funds
Law enforcement veterans even lawyers have begun
To run the race of champions when "the one" will prevail
Prestigious minds will they coincide? only time will tell
And those who didn't make the cut will scurry in the fall
To fight their way up off the bench
Perhaps favors they will call
He may not realize it yet and please serve our country with no regret
He made history climbed over generations of walls
The youthful and tenacious Ravenstahl
Hands down he won his race
Communities appreciate the fact that you show your face
I must mention Peduto bowed out with grace
He knew his place he needed space
Onorato and Burgess won but for Carlisle her journey has just begun
Abundance of respect for those who posses residual drive
Like Michael Lamb who ran for mayor in 2005
We witnessed tremendous triumphs and upsetting defeats
When Kraus beat Koch in District 3
Towcimak perished in political attack
I'm sure it burned to the core
To have to give up a position he held since '84
Throughout the race candidates' courage was ubiquitous you should all take a bow
And we will all tune in for more from Pittsburgh to Youngwood 6 months from now

"Ode the the Primary of '07"

By Karen Lostetter, West Mifflin

There once was a Tuesday in May
We act in a politics play
The primary election
Is far from perfection
But hires the leaders we pay

This day in the 'burgh, warm and pretty
The race for the mayor wasn't gritty...
With no opposition
Luke keeps the position
There's more to "Redd Up" in this city

And then there's executive Dan
Who stays in to do what he can
All we can say
Is we're glad to this day
He turned out to be a Pens fan

The school tax thing was a joke
The people, about it they spoke...
"We are better by far
to keep things as they are,
either way we will all end up broke!"

The number of ballots we cast
Was down as has been in years past
Why poor voter turnout?
Not bad weather, or burn-out
It's the three-bucks-a-gallon for gas!!!