Q: My daughter has 3-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. I think she treats them like Siamese twins, they are never apart. I feel like they need one-on-one attention from Mom and Dad and that the parents should each take one when they run little errands etc., trading which one they take, not always the boy with Dad and the girl with Mom. Also, what are your thoughts on the same or separate classrooms when they start preschool and school?

A: How wonderful to have twin grandchildren!

		Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

Twinhood is a unique relationship that requires both "together" time and, as you sense, "apart" time.

The "together" time reinforces the bond, while the "apart" time provides necessary opportunities to develop independence, social competence, and individual interests. If -- and this is a common situation -- one twin talks more and often "speaks for" the other, the apart time can encourage language development in the quieter sibling.

So we believe you raise some important issues, and that your solutions -- taking the children on separate errands and making sure each twin has time with both parents -- are good ones.

We do recommend separate classrooms once the children are in preschool. This can help develop each child's unique personality and skills and offer the opportunity to have individual friendships. If the twins are anxious about being separated, the preschool can build some "together" time into their days until the anxiety disappears.

Meanwhile, we suggest that you sit with your daughter and have a loving and frank discussion about your concerns. She may very well see your point, but the decision, of course, is hers and her husband's, and you'll need to respect whatever they decide.