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Hey, what in the world was that?

One mention of Doggie Miller and the whole world turns upside down for a few hours ...

Q: Dejan, what a great explosion of offense! Do you think we should use pink bats all the time?

Jennifer Stewart of New Haven, Conn.

KOVACEVIC: Either that, or take bad pitches, swing at ones over the plate, and give that a shot for a while.

Seemed to work yesterday.

Q: So, Dejan, who do you have winning the NL Cy Young: Kyle Davies, Chuck James or my choice, Jason Marquis?

In all seriousness, the Pirates' hitting is disgraceful. They show patience when they should be aggressive. They lack patience when they should be taking. The inability to get men on base and the inability to drive the few in that do get on, it's enough to make even the most ardent Pirates fan look forward to the opening faceoff in October at Mellon Arena.

With the exception of Jason Bay and Ryan Doumit, who are doing close to all they can do at this juncture, should the fans expect any of the position players to turn it around? Or is this going to be the best we see out of Chris Duffy, Adam LaRoche, Ronny Paulino, etc.

Chris Griger of Monessen

KOVACEVIC: Well, yesterday's oddity aside, your assessments are wholly accurate, Chris.

One thing I do remember, though, was this one game in Phoenix last year -- an 8-7 loss, actually, on May 24 -- where the Pirates went from awful to awesome offensively in one day, then went on this absolute tear, scoring 60 runs in their next six games.

Look out, Dontrelle.

Q: Dejan, this is ridiculous. Tony Armas has made six starts and has an 8.76 ERA, a .370 opponents' batting average, and is averaging four innings a start. The very least we can do is put Armas in the bullpen and Shawn Chacon in the rotation. And don't you think that we have to give Bryan Bullington and/or John Van Benschoten a shot sooner rather than later?

Jim Roderick of Cumberland, Md.

KOVACEVIC: Bring up Van Benschoten for his bat, my friend. This guy was the NCAA's top power hitter the year he was drafted.

In all seriousness, I would be plenty surprised if the Pirates do not make some kind of move, based on impressions yesterday. Chacon would be the most convenient answer because it would not require a roster move, but one would have to wonder at this point if he is stretched out enough to deliver a full start. No one would have to wonder about Bullington or Van Benschoten, each of whom has been close to 100 pitches for several weeks now.

Q: Dejan, what is it like in and around the clubhouse before and after games? The reason I ask is that the players have no emotion and look as if they don't want to be playing the game we all love.

I understand they are struggling and grinding right now. Does that mean they can't have fun?

Kyle Adema of Omaha, Neb.

KOVACEVIC: Well, things certainly have changed since that oh-so-uplifting three-game sweep in Houston. The clubhouse is quieter, emptier and with a whole lot less frivolity.

That can be bad and good, of course.

It is bad, obviously, in the sense that this group of players -- which is made up largely of friendly and outgoing personalities -- is not really itself as much anymore. And it is bad because a generally down atmosphere, no matter its genesis, can bring down other individuals who are not necessarily down otherwise.

It is good, on the other hand, in the sense that frivolity and losing only go together ... well, with losers. And the fact is, if you saw the Pirates having some blast on TV, Kyle, there would be a whole lot more people furious about it than applauding it.

Have things unraveled?

Not yet, it seems.

Until tomorrow, a tip of the cap to reader Dean Falavolito for correcting me Saturday night on who does that "Boom" song. It actually is P.O.D., not the band I incorrectly pulled off Google.

In fairness, the last time I was hip, I was part of the crowd at the Stanley Theater in 1982 in total delirium at seeing the one and only Clash.

Oh, and remember, chat today at 1 p.m. ...