Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

Q: I have a 6-year-old grandchild who is wonderful except for one thing. She screams and sulks when she doesn't get her own way. I think she is too old for this, but my daughter makes excuses -- the little girl is tired, it's just a phase, etc. Should I be worried?

A: We applaud you for being thoughtful about your granddaughter's behavior -- which we agree is inappropriate. Child development experts, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, say that tantruming usually winds down after age 4.

Perhaps your granddaughter doesn't have the communication skills to express what she wants or needs. Does she behave like this at school? Or when she's at friends' homes? If the tantrums happen when she's with people besides you or your daughter, there may be an underlying communications or other problem best addressed by a pediatrician or other professional. But if her tantrums occur only, or primarily, when she's with her parents or others very close to her (like you), perhaps she has simply gotten into the tantrum habit -- which her mother has not discouraged.

Here's our suggestion. Set -- and share with your granddaughter -- reasonable expectations for her behavior when she's in your home. The expectations could include no screaming or sulking. Also set consequences that will kick in if those behaviors happen -- perhaps no television or other treats she values.

You might also work on some strategies she can use instead of tantruming: deep breathing or slowly counting from 1 to 10.

Whatever else you do, be consistent in your responses: If there's a tantrum, there are always consequences. It won't be easy; You'll have to be firm -- but, along the way, we think your granddaughter's behaviors will improve when she's with you, and she'll be proud of that (remember to praise her as she learns self-control).

Because you'll be modeling good parenting for your daughter, perhaps she'll "get it" and set up similar expectations and consequences in her own home. We hope so.

Final thought: don't expect overnight success -- after all, your granddaughter has had six years to learn these patterns, and newer, healthier ways will take time to develop.