Do you want to ask a question?  Send an e-mail  to questions@ catscall.com or write to:   Catherine Specter   Post-Gazette   34 Blvd. of the Allies   Pittsburgh, Pa.   15222 ... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

DEAR CAT: I never thought I'd fall madly in love, but I did and now I'm miserable. I was in England, residing with a "host family" and the husband and I definitely clicked. I behaved well and my only 'fault' was having never-ending talks with him. Before I left he wrote me saying that being in love with me is an understatement and that he's getting divorced. A shocker! I've tried to forget him but I can't. Over the next nine months our e-mails went to texting and then to talking on the phone, and those months were obsessive. I couldn't stop thinking of him, and I had a boyfriend (together for eight years) the entire time! I couldn't dump my boyfriend. Instead, I ended things with the Englishman. I thought I'd move on but I can't. I cry every day. His words still echo in my head: "How can you leave us for a boyfriend that treats you like a doormat and for a job you don't really like?" Will I be miserable forever? What should I do? -- JUST A PERSON

DEAR JUST: You'd be miserable even without the Englishman's love because you're in a miserable relationship and an ocean away from the person you really want, but can't have. You should dump your boyfriend, the Brit should leave his wife, and the two of you can quit wasting everyone's time. Or liberate yourself from both messes and start fresh (hint: that's the best idea). Love can really hurt, but ...

Cat's Call: Don't use that as an excuse to hurt someone else.

DEAR CAT: The guy I'm dating told me last night that he Googled me a few times and (to his disappointment) found nothing about me. He laughed about the whole thing but I kind of feel like he violated my privacy. I would never Google him or anyone. Would you? -- GOOGLE THIS

DEAR GOOGLE: Of course I would. Googling has replaced thumb twiddling as the No. 1 time killer. C'mon, you know you've Googled someone you like. Or something related to someone you like. Or some place that you want to go with someone you like. If you honestly haven't done it before, this is totally the time to start. He's given you the green light ...

Cat's Call: Put the pedal to the metal!

DEAR CAT: Why are men such commitment-phobes? A few of my girlfriends and I have each been engaged at least once. In every case, our ex-fiances broke off the engagements in the 11th hour. I have heard of cold feet before, but this is ridiculous! Why do you think men are so hesitant to actually go through with marriage these days? -- JILTED REPEATEDLY

DEAR JILTED: I don't think the hesitancy is new, rather the freedom to act on it. Rarely does a question so passionately beg for a Cat Poll. OK world, go to www.catscall.com and vote it out.

Cat's Call: I'll call this in a week or two.