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Q: My son is 3 and he's pretty outgoing. When people say hi to him, he likes it and he says hi back. But I'm also trying to teach him about "stranger danger." How can I help him know when it's OK to talk with strangers and when it's not?

A: Good for you for thinking ahead to the time when your child is a little older, and won't necessarily be with you or another trusted adult every minute of the day. This is the time to start an ongoing series of conversations about staying safe.

When you're talking with your child about "stranger danger," it's important to make the conversations serious but nonthreatening. You want him to be prepared, not scared.

Tell him that most people are good -- but a few people are bad, and following some simple rules will help keep him safe from those people. (Of course, when he's with you, it's fine to reply politely to a stranger who greets him.)

Talk about strategies -- both those used by would-be abductors (offering candy, asking the child to help search for a missing puppy, saying you've asked them to pick up the child, etc.) and those your child can use. These might include always being with one or more friends (if possible), never going with a stranger or even getting close to a stranger's car, and, if approached, yelling "NO!" while running away to find a trustworthy adult or safe place.

Together, develop some safety tactics -- for example, a "secret password" to be used if you ever have to ask another adult to pick your child up at school. If the adult doesn't know the password, your son shouldn't go with him or her.

And don't forget basic common sense: Your child should know his name, address, and phone number. He shouldn't talk to strangers. His clothes, book bags, etc., should be labeled in a way that doesn't let a stranger see his name.

For more strategies, you might read "Stranger Danger" by Patricia Stirnkorb or "Not Everyone Is Nice" by Frederick Alimonti. Also check out www.mcgruff.org.

It's too bad we all have to think about these situations -- but it's reality, and we and the kids we care about simply have to deal with it.