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Call it May Madness, only it extends through August.
The Post-Gazette offers seedings and brackets for the Summer Blockbuster Sweet 16, based on the summer movie season, opening-weekend box office and decidedly unscientific criteria (see below).
The summer movie season might well be a battle of the "3's": "Spider-Man 3," "Pirates of the Caribbean 3," "Rush Hour 3," "The Bourne Ultimatum" (No. 3 in the franchise) and "Shrek the Third." Other numbers come into play: "Harry Potter" No. 5 and "Live Free or Die Hard," No. 4 in that action series.
The winners will be decided by you, the ticket-buyers -- the only number that counts is opening-weekend box-office dollars -- and you, the savvy movie-goer, who must pick the top box-office draws before Spider-Man spins his first Web on May 4.
For opening-weekend numbers, we will go with Friday-Saturday-Sunday, and not count any holiday "bonus" days. The CGI/live action "Transformers" has added muscle: It gets the benefit of extra days because of a Wednesday, July 4, opening. The extra days will count, because the film industry counts them as part of the movie's opening "weekend." We'll use box-office numbers as they become available Mondays, when they are compiled by Media By Numbers LLC.
Summer in Hollywood begins the first weekend in May and ends Aug. 31 with ... "Halloween"? That's the tentative date for the umpteenth sequel of the horror franchise, as are some of the dates we're forced to use to get this bracket to you with time to think about your Final Four Films and beyond. Before filling out your bracket, grab your Summer Movie Guide in Thursday's Weekend Mag, in which PG movie editor Barbara Vancheri will give you the lay of the land for the season.
If a studio exec gets a twitch and a film in the bracket is suddenly shelved or given a fall date, then the other film in its pairing gets a free pass and moves on to the next round.
Here's the rub: The final weekend in our Sweet 16 is Aug. 31. (Rob Zombie's "Halloween" remake made the cut.) That means you'll have to wait until horror fans have their say before the winner is decided.
You'll also note that two sets of movies opening the same weekend are in the running: "Die Hard" and "Ratatouille," both on June 29. Having already eliminated one animated movie ("Surf's Up") because of stiff competition on the same weekend, it was decided the positive buzz, particularly from theater owners at the ShoWest convention, and family-movie nature of "Ratatouille" earned a seed.
"Surf's Up" opens June 8 along with the adult action sequel "Ocean's 13." The "Ocean's" franchise has been kind to George Clooney & Co., and the "Surf's Up" stars -- animated penguins -- have been gold at the box office recently (e.g., the Oscar-winning "Happy Feet"). In the end, "Ocean's" won the day, based on its cast and the possible penguin backlash. Even if "Ocean's" -- or any other seeded movie -- loses the weekend, its box-office total will still apply.
In one pairing, the rankings of the 16 films gave us Matt Damon vs. Matt Damon, "Bourne" vs. "Ocean's 13" -- an interesting coincidence.
We also must say that trailers of the Silver Surfer looked way cool, but using our criteria for seedings, the other comic-book/fantasy franchises came out on top. Still, "Fantastic Four" has the look of a spoiler.
With only 16 seeds, tough decisions had to be made. Now we know how members of the NCAA Tournament committee must feel when they announce wild-card teams.
You can do this just for your own amusement or compete with other filmophiles for a movie-related prize, to be announced. To do that, you must also figure on a tiebreaker: Guess at the combined opening-weekend box office numbers for the 16 seeded movies. Include that sum, your name, address and phone number, along with the completed bracket, and send it to Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 34 Blvd. of the Allies, Pittsburgh, PA 15222, attention Sharon Eberson. The entry must be postmarked no later than May 4.
Here are the 16 films, in order of seeding. The criteria for seedings is above, with the brackets. Good luck, and enjoy the shows.
The Summer Blockbuster Sweet 16
1. "Spider-Man 3" (May 4)
2. "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (May 25)
3. "Shrek the Third" (May 18)
4. "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" (July 13)
5. "The Simpsons Movie" (July 27)
6. "Transformers" (July 4)
7. "The Bourne Ultimatum" (Aug. 3)
8. "Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer" (June 15)
9. "Live Free or Die Hard" (June 29)
10. "Ocean's 13" (June 8)
11. "Hairspray" (July 20)
12. "Evan Almighty" (June 22)
13. "Rush Hour 3" (Aug. 10)
14. "Ratatouille" (June 29)
15. "28 Weeks Later" (July 13)
16. "Halloween" (Aug. 31)
One more thing ...
... about the final word in the criteria list: Irresistible. It was hard to resist placing the TV-to-film version of "Underdog," as our 16th and final film, but we did, as it shares that date with "The Bourne Ultimatum." There were other temptations, like "The Invasion," the Nicole Kidman-Daniel Craig remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," and the intriguingly named "Fanboy." You'll get to see the teaming of Kidman and Craig again later in the year, in "The Golden Compass."
Adam Sandler ("I Pronounce You Chuck & Larry") vs. John Travolta ("Hairspray") on July 20 also was a hard call, but Travolta in drag, channeling Divine and Harvey Fierstein, was irresistible.
And then there are those "Surf's Up" penguins, who would seem to be the ingredient for a sure-fire animated hit -- unless they're not.
You decide.