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PrintKIDDING AROUND
A few things about the Rangers:
Part of the Rangers' recent success can be attributed to a few youngsters on their roster.
They routed the Bruins Sunday.
No Brendan Shanahan still. He is recovering from a concussion.
We would love to go all Dan Cloutier on Comcast:
SENATORS ADJOURNED
PENGUINS 4, SENATORS 3
PREGAME
An interview with Michel Ouellet gives us the urge to stab our eyes.
FIRST PERIOD
15:37-In a race of two skaters that won't be confused with the likes of Shanni Davis or Johann Olav Koss, Georges Larauque is able to track down Chris Neil on a breakaway and swat the puck off his stick.
14:28-Erik Christensen takes the puck in the slot and whips a hard wrister on net that Ray Emery is able to absorb.
13:24-Dany Heatley, one of the NHL's top goal-scorers, whips a shot high on net that Marc-Andre Fleury is able to knock down.
13:20-A drive from the point by Jason Spezza is stopped by Fleury.
12:35-A backhander by Joe Corvo is eaten up by Fleury. As we return from commercial, we get a peek at the extra protection Sidney Crosby has on his left skate. He took a few shots off that skate in Friday's win against Montreal.
11:16-Rob Scuderi is called for high-sticking Dean McAmmond.
9:22-Traveling through the neutral zone, Maxime Talbot hits Colby Armstrong with a cross-ice pass.
9:18-As he approaches the left faceoff circle in the Senators' zone, Armstrong spots Sergei Gonchar trailing and dumps a pass back to him.
9:16-Just as Scuderi's penalty expires, Gonchar approaches the Ottawa net and at the last second pass across the slot to Talbot who slides the puck into an empty net for a fantastic goal. Penguins 1-0.
8:50-The Senators don't take long to strike back as Antoine Vermette is able to capitalize on a loose puck in front of the Penguins' crease and snap it past Fleury. Penguins 1, Senators 1.
8:40-Dan Potash wishes the Stanley Cup a happy birthday and gives it a $25 gift certificate to Bed, Bath and Beyond.
8:18-"Steigy, my name, obviously, (is) on there twice," says Bob Errey. No word yet if he challenged Steigy to an arm measuring contest last night.
8:13-Funny story actually by Bob Errey explaining that his name appears on the Cup as "Bob" once and "Robert" another.
5:56-Corvo whips a quick, sneaky shot from the point that Fleury traps.
3:45-Brooks Orpik gets away with a cross-check from behind on Mike Comrie.
3:31-The Senators go to the box as Comrie is called for interference on Crosby.
3:00-From the slot, Christensen whips another hard wrister that Emery manages to block away.
2:04-From the right boards, Malkin sends a pass to a streaking Mark Recchi in the slot. Recchi tries to go low on Emery but can't beat his right pad.
0:00-End of period. Penguins 1, Senators 1.
FIRST INTERMISSION
As we've stated in the past, Talbot appears to have just finished a marathon as he is interviewed by Potash. He's huffing and puffing almost as bad as a fat person in Ethiopia.
Video of Comrie using a pink stick Saturday night is shown. Good stuff.
SECOND PERIOD
19:36-A one-time by Chris Phillips is denied by Fleury.
16:31-Anton Volchenkov is whistled for goaltender interference as he is shoved into the net by Orpik.
15:57-Crosby takes a pass from Whitney and backhands the puck past Ray Emery from the slot. Penguins 2-1.
14:56-Again, the Senators don't take long to even things up. A shot by Corvo from the point is redirected by Daniel Alfredsson past Fleury. Penguins 2, Senators 2.
12:28-Gonchar comes in deep to the Ottawa zone and bulldozes Christoph Schubert.
11:48-Paul Steigerwald comes through with an Eric Bogiunieki reference. Solid.
10:04-As Josef Melichar is sent to the box for holding after bear-hugging Patrick Eaves from behind, Errey tells us it is Melichar's 300th career game. Wow. Only 300? It seems more like his 49,490,832th.
8:42-Gonchar carries the puck into the Senators' zone and feeds it to Jordan Staal in the slot. A redirect by Staal is turned away by Emery.
6:16-McAmmond is whistled for hooking Christensen. That's followed up by a Brian Bellows reference. Our day is made.
5:29-Malkin comes in the offensive zone, makes a sick move through Corvo and whistles a shot on net that Emery just gets a piece of.
4:54-The referees give the Penguins some help as linesman Pat Dapuzzo gets in the way of a clearing attempt before it could reach a streaking Alfredsson. Had the puck not struck Dapuzzo, Alfredsson could've had a breakaway. Dapuzzo is already the Penguins fourth best defenseman.
3:13-Corvo goes to the box for holding the stick.
2:55-The Penguins rediscover the "backdoor" play to Whitney, albeit in something of a hybrid form. Crosby makes a cross-ice pass to Whitney who is in the left faceoff circle and ricochets the puck off Emery into the net. Penguins 3-2.
2:32-Gary Roberts is called for tripping.
2:00-Malone gets away with a penalty as he tackles Andrej Meszaros from behind and clears the puck with his hand.
0:58-Malone steals the puck, comes in on Emery and hits the post after Tom Preissing pressures him. Staal is there for the rebound, but can't get it past Emery.
0:01-From the "Out of No Where" files, Neil bounces off a check by Orpik, comes in on a breakaway and rings a shot off the post.
0:00-End of period. Penguins 3, Senators 2.
SECOND INTERMISSION
The same stock video of the concourse with a Matisyahu-looking guy and some poor souls in Errey and Rob Brown jerseys is shown for the third time in a month by our unofficial count.
THIRD PERIOD
18:30-The Cow Palace near San Francisco is referenced by Steigerwald. Fantastic stuff.
17:02-As they battle for a loose puck, Schubert wraps his arms around Christensen. No call.
16:57-Laraque gets down and blocks a shot by Wade Redden with his foot.
16:40-McAmmond is penalized for hooking.
15:30-Errey refers to Gonchar as "The Galloping Gourmet." Huh?
15:07-Christensen feeds to Roberts in the slot and he pushes it just wide of the net.
12:56-Malone puts a chance on a rebound off the post.
9:47-Staal passes up a clean shot and turns the puck over while trying to feed it through three Senators to Malkin. Shoot!
9:40-Spezza just avoids getting plastered by an open-ice check by Orpik.
9:31-Staal again decides not to shoot and makes a terrible pass that finds Corvo's blade. SHOOT!
9:28-Whitney takes an interference penalty.
7:50-While fighting for a loose puck, Alfredsson collides with Fleury and is called for goaltender interference. Four-on-four.
6:54-As Volchenkov is called for hooking, Crosby simply slides the puck at Emery to stop play. We are surprised more teams don't do that more often and try to maximize the time they have with a two-man advantage. On a side note, Senators coach Bryan Murray is so upset at these penalties, he appears as if he is prepared to set a box full of kittens on fire. Five-on-three.
5:58-Malkin loses his stick and grabs Redden's. Two minutes for holding the stick. No kittens will be torched for the time being. Four-on-three.
4:53-Just as the Senators go on to a power play, Redden lobs the puck on net and it hits twine. Penguins 3, Senators 3.
3:55-Gonchar takes out Comrie on a breakaway attempt but Comrie is able to recover to his feet and fires a shot right into the stomach of Fleury. Gonchar goes off for tripping.
3:23-Staal steals the puck and is interfered with by Meszaros. Staal brings the puck into the Senators zone and makes a cross-ice pass that finds the boards. As Rob Scuderi, Spezza and Heatley jostle for the puck, a player can be heard to say, "Blow the (bleeping) thing." Steigerwald remarks, "You heard one of the players complaining he didn't blow the whistle." Ah, God bless open microphones and live television. Meszaros leaves the ice. Four-on-four.
1:55-Fleury comes up with a huge save on a chance from the slot by Vermette.
0:33-Recchi passes up a clean shot and makes an unnecessary pass to Crosby who is forced to get a less-than-ideal shot off through traffic. Emery makes the save and freezes the puck. SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTT!
0:00-End of period. Penguins 3, Senators 3.
OVERTIME
4:40-Fleury deflects a Phillips shot away with his blocker.
2:16-Roberts simply breaks Corvo with a hard check in the corner.
0:53-A big blast from the point by Meszaros is kicked out by Fleury.
0:00-End of period. Penguins 3, Senators 3.
SHOOTOUT!
Christensen tries to fool Emery by going to the backhand but Emery doesn't bite.
Comrie comes in slowly, goes low to the left side and Fleury stops it with his skate. Comrie pokes the rebound into the net, but it doesn't count.
Jarkko Ruutu comes in slowly as well and very smoothly does the same move as Christensen and connecting for a goal.
Ruutu got you Emery!
McAmmond flies in with speed, snaps a shot off and Fleury gloves it.
Crosby comes streaking in on Emery goes five hole and is denied by Emery. He also pokes at the rebound and puts in net. Still no goal. Errey and Steigerwald are adamant that Crosby scored cleanly until they see a replay clearly showing Crosby poking in the rebound.
Vermette goes low to the left on Fleury but the puck rolls off his blade before he can even get a shot off. Penguins 4, Senators 3.
POSTGAME
Shelly Anderson's notebook. Melichar is the only member of the current roster that was a part of the last playoff run for this franchise. Hold us.
Fourth place. And two out of first in the Atlantic.
DOUBLE TROUBLE
Penguins 6, Canadiens 3
PREGAME
We attended the game and observed from our perch atop the last row of C-6. We also recorded the broadcast and reviewed it later.
Nice stock footage of a snowless Mellon Arena again. When we got there, snow was pretty much coming down the top of it like an avalanche.
Bob Errey broadcasts from in between the benches.
Jarkko Ruutu is looking rather laid back as he is interviewed by Dan Potash. As if he's trying to pick up a girl at the bar.
First Period
19:50-It takes all of 10 seconds for the first penalty to be called as Mathieu Dandenault is called for interference.
18:13-As he goes off for holding, Gary Roberts appears to have a bit of a shiner.
Andrei Markov gets a whiff of Gary Roberts' glove.
15:32-Taking a short pass from his own blue line, Crosby weaves his way through four Canadiens, goes to the right of Sheldon Souray and snaps off a quick shot while on foot that beats David Aebischer on the glove side. A simply amazing goal. Additionally, we would like to thank the jerk that showed up five minutes late to the game with 49 kids and was just getting in his seat blocking our view of the goal. Your ticket says 7:30 on it buddy. Penguins 1-0.
12:42-Brooks Orpik levels Andrei Kastsitsyn in the corner. We officially hate everyone on the Canadiens now. Their names are too hard to spell.
11:29-As Crosby is called for closing his hand on the puck, Errey steals the Penguins' rub stick.
10:42-A tricky wrister by Andre Makrov is kicked out by Marc-Andre Fleury.
10:33-Sheldon Souray bombs a shot from the point that Fleury deflects.
7:53-Souray and Ruutu each go off the ice for penalties. Souray for roughing and Ruutu for unsportsmanlike.
7:36-Maxime Talbot is whistled for tripping Michael Ryder
6:24-Ryan Malone dives and knocks a loose puck out of the Penguins' zone past Michael Komisarek.
5:53-A slapper by Tomas Plekanec is deflected by Fleury out of play.
4:32-Crosby is hit in the foot by a slap shot from Orpik.
Ouch.
1:17-A slapper from the point by Ryan Whitney is kicked out by Aebischer.
0:26-Worst. Clearing. Attempt. Ever. Aebisher attempts to clear a loose puck off the right boards and it ends up on Erik Christensen's blade. Almost as soon as he touches it, Christensen whips it on net and through Aebischer's five hole. We hate spelling "Aebischer." Penguins 2-0.
0:00-End of period. Penguins 2-0.
FIRST INTERMISSION
While explaining Christensen wasn't a likely candidate for success on the shootout at the beginning of the season, Potash tells us Christensen's heroics make us all look bad now. Dan Potash called all of us ugly. And to think he might've been cool. Jerk.
Chris Thorburn sighting!
SECOND PERIOD
19:47-Errey talks about running into Crosby's father in the bathroom. We find that hilarious for some reason.
18:54-A quick slapper by Steve Begin is gloved by Fleury.
18:02-A snap shot by Sergei Gonchar is stopped by Aebischer.
17:25-Errey and Paul Steigerwald are excited about Georges Laraque having to take a face off for some reason.
17:11-Whitney goes off for slashing.
16:27-Christopher Higgins scores on a quick wrap-around attempt. Penguins 2-1.
11:58-A shot by Higgins bounces off the post.
11:49-A low shot by Jordan Staal is stopped by Aebischer.
11:09-Christensen appears to get away with a trip on Higgins.
9:52-Saku Koivu has a chance on a rebound, but his shot is deflected by the stick of Orpik.
9:49-Ryder snaps a quick shot from the slot that Fleury gloves.
6:47-A shot from a bad angle by Ruutu is snagged by Aebischer.
4:29-Josef Melichar tackles Koivu in front of the Penguins' cage and goes to the box for hooking.
Saku Koivu reacts to smelling Josef Melichar's glove.
3:54-Souray gets the puck at the point with two Penguins in front of him. He appears unfazed as he winds up and blasts a shot into the net. Canadiens 2, Penguins 2.
0:01-The Penguins bring the puck into the Canadiens' zone and make about 309 passes without getting a real shot off.
0:00-End of period. Canadiens 2, Penguins 2.
SECOND INTERMISSION
Potash thanks Orpik for an interview and Orpik responds, "Dai-ieg."
THIRD PERIOD
18:26-Talbot feeds a pass to Roberts in the crease but he can't punch it past Aebischer. The Penguins think it's a goal and begin to celebrate.
17:38-With Roberts seated right next to him, Errey discusses the non-goal. Errey has his head buried in his chest as if trying to make sure Roberts doesn't hear him. We've uncovered your secret, Bob.
16:41-A shot from the point by Markov is kicked away by Fleury.
16:20-Evgeni Malkin feeds a pass from behind the net to Christensen just to the left of the goal. Christensen buries the puck with a quick snap shot. Mario Lemieux can be seen viewing the game from a blast bunker. Penguins 3-2.
15:40-Armstrong wraps the puck around the net into the crease and Roberts jabs it into the net. Penguins 4-2.
15:20-Mark Recchi is careless with his stick and pokes Markov in the face. Two minutes.
15:00-Malone makes a gutsy play and lays down to block a slap shot by Markov.
14:20-Koivu makes a pretty pass to Markov who taps the puck past Fleury. Penguins 4-3.
11:38-Malone is dumped to the right of the Canadiens' cage by Komisarek. No call.
10:15-Guillaume Latendresse waltzes in on Fleury and gets off a quick shot that is stopped. This also ends all hopes we had of not being forced to spell Guillaume Latendresse.
8:50-Maxim LaPierre snaps off a quick shot that Fleury blocks with his legs.
8:20-Fleury kicks out a shot by Ryder from the slot.
7:40-Crosby leaves the ice in pain as he takes a shot off his foot again.
7:21-Roberts dumps Garth Murray on the forecheck.
6:14-Malkin tosses a puck on net from the right side and it drops perfectly on the blade of Michel Ouellet who pushes into the net. Lemieux celebrates from his bunker. Penguins 5-3.
6:05-From the slot, Koivu rings a shot off the post.
1:15-Aebischer leaves the ice giving the Canadiens an extra attacker.
1:05-Crosby takes the puck out of his zone and scores the first one of us in his career. Fans, apparently incensed that there's a big ugly Highmark logo on the hat they got as a giveaway, litter the ice with those hats. Penguins 6-3.
0:00-End of game. Penguins 6, Canadiens 3.
POSTGAME
Best jerseys we saw: Hartford Whalers and Joe Sakic, Quebec Nordiques.
Worst jersey we saw. A No. 9 Montreal Canadiens jersey with the name, "Ferraro" on it. Complete sacrilege. No. 9 was Maurice "The Rocket" Richard. Richard was perhaps the first true superstar in the NHL and is national hero in Canada. And this Ferraro dirtbag thought his name was good enough to put together with Richard's number. That would be like getting a No. 66 Penguins jersey with "Yarosik" on it. If you ever meet someone that does that, punch them in an area that would make them cry.
Saturday's Assault in the NHL brought to you by Nashville:
Jordin Tootoo's a likeable, scrappy player that has ability. But what he did to the Dallas Stars defenseman Stephane Robidas is disgusting. Robidas left the ice on a stretcher. It wasn't quite in the Todd Bertuzzi-Steve Moore category, but hopefully, the NHL does the right thing and serves as significant suspension to Tootoo.
EMPTY NETTER ASSISTS
We're trying to get the All-Star Game.
Look at our 5Hole.
Not having Mark Eaton in the line not only hurts the team, but it hurts Sergei Gonchar.
Maybe the Penguins shouldn't leave Mellon Arena. They're pretty good there.
Something tells us Jocelyn Thibault never bought beer for Marc-Andre Fleury before he turned 21.
The Avalanche are four points out of a playoff spot. The last time they didn't make the playoffs, they were in Quebec.
For a team trying to win the Southeast Division, the Lightning are awfully inconsistent. They got routed by the Capitals Sunday.
Martin Brodeur was chased by the Hurricanes.
The Canadiens kept their playoff hopes alive with a shootout win against Toronto Saturday.
The Canucks showed they can play with the big boys with an impressive defeat of Detroit.
The Wild might be the hottest team in the league right now.
The NCAA men's tournament pairings were announced. If you're as big of a geek as us, you'll do a bracket like we did at the Post-Gazette. Last season, Empty Netters friend Chris Adamski netted a whopping $3.
Like we blindly predicted, Wisconsin claimed the NCAA women's championship.
While looking for a Milan Kraft picture, we found this simply ghastly image of him and Martin Straka in some of the ugliest uniforms ever.
