With the wreckage of Valentine's Day long behind us and the prospect of spring and its traditional cleaning in the air, I draw your attention to tomorrow's festivity: Get Over It Day.

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This is a brilliant idea. There isn't anyone on this planet who hasn't got something they ought to get over, and I recognize that I am among the guilty. Regrets, grudges and grievances are like clutter for your soul. And I am the queen of clutter.

(It's a hereditary monarchy. My mom is the queen mother of clutter, and my father was the king of cryptically labeled file folders full of yellowing paper with rubber bands around them in a cardboard box.)

Like home or office clutter, psychic clutter starts out as something that has a place. You put it on display because it has character, and you deserve it.

And then it becomes a permanent part of the landscape, like a wallpaper stain or a pair of ugly drapes the cat climbs on for exercise and chews as an esthetic commentary.

Then it begins to accumulate things. Dust, which you forget to remove. The occasional scarf or hair scrunchie, looped jauntily over it. An important tax document you shove underneath, which you also forget about.

Finally one day you're looking around, in a moment of introspection, and you think, "What's that still doing there? That was all right in college, but what kind of adult has one of those out where people can see it?" And you pick it up and look at it, and you suddenly realize two things: It is kind of hideous, and you can't bring yourself to throw it away.

You've had it so long. It brings back such memories. Mostly lousy, but that doesn't matter.

Get over it!

Seriously: Throw it away. Say goodbye today, and throw it away tomorrow, Get Over It Day. Got dumped? Got fired? Got fat? Still mourning "Arrested Development"? (Yeah, it was good.) Get over it!

How do you know you're ready to get over it? When your friends ask you about it and you realize that even YOU are tired of talking and even of thinking about it. Suffering is strenuous. Give it a rest and give yourself one, too.

And the innocent bystanders. Have you ever seen "Hamlet"? When I was a kid I thought it was a terrific drama. Now I look at it and I think, "For crying out loud, LOOK at this guy! It's been two hours since the ghost told him his uncle killed his father, and all he does is skulk around whining. To be or not to be, I'm so crazy, boo hoo. He's upset his girlfriend, he's upset his mom, he accidentally killed someone -- enough! Throw your uncle off a parapet, marry Ophelia before she loses her marbles and be done with it, you big crybaby."

This will be the second annual March 9 Get Over It Day, and you can read all about it and engage in therapeutic moving-on-type activities at www.GetOverItDay.com, from the wonderful people who brought us the Rejection Hotline (providing fake phone numbers, e-mail addresses and business cards to the overly pursued).

The main feature of the site is the Get Over It Day Fire Pit, an animated bonfire into which you can electronically cast messages you type. And you can read the messages of others, who are hoping to get over everything from job losses, "the past" and tax problems to "the economy," "the way ALL men are" and, intriguingly, "band camp."

Get Over It Day spokeswoman and relationship guru Heide Banks says that getting over it is "the difference between surviving life and creating a life that is expansive and full of possibilities," and her tips for doing so include this: "Put away, return, throw away or safely burn any reminders that might be sitting around." Such as your ex, boss or fratricidal uncle, as the case may be.

There are other fun activities to engage in, such as organizing an official bar party (none in Pittsburgh so far, but we'll catch up in a few years), watching themed music videos and ordering merchandise from ComedyCentral.com at a discount. Nothing will empower you and restore confidence like a pair of Eric Cartman "Respect My Authority" boxer shorts.

Getting over it isn't easy, but remember, you're not alone. Look around you. Pittsburgh needs to get over winter weather. Jennifer Hudson needs to get over losing on "American Idol" now that she has an Academy Award. Lisa Nowak turns out to be long overdue for getting over her fellow astronaut and his new girlfriend. Love hurts, but when diapers and pepper spray get involved, things have gone too far. About 900 miles too far.

As the official poem says:

"March 9th is the day, to finally say:
'Move on! It's done! It's Get Over It Day!'"