Oh, the Grammys.

Don't you love 'em? They so rarely make any sense.

"St. Elsewhere" by Gnarls Barkley has PG music critic Scott Mervis' support for Grammy best album winner. Click photo for larger image. Related articles Grammy country picks ... Rollins, Wilson deserve jazz Grammys Local musicians make their Grammy calls Listen In Hear PG pop music critic Scott Mervis, interviewed by the PG's Peter King, weigh in on this year's Grammy nominees. To download the file to your computer, right click on the above link and select "Save Target As ..." After the file has finished downloading, double-click on the file to listen to the audio. Hear excerpts from Grammy "record of the year" nominees : "Be Without You," Mary J. Blige "Put Your Records On," Corinne Bailey Rae "Not Ready to Make Nice," The Dixie Chicks "Crazy," Gnarls Barkley "You're Beautiful," James Blunt

No, we're not going to dredge up Jethro Tull and the Starland Vocal Band again (but that is really funny). What we're talking about is the type of choices that the voters routinely are forced to make. Take this year: Where else would you ever have to weigh the Red Chili Peppers against the Dixie Chicks? Or Christina Aguilera against Elvis Costello?

Among the other challenges to 2007 Grammy voters will be having to decipher the difference between Snow Patrol, The Fray and Keane. Good luck there.

One band that never had a problem being confused with anyone else was The Police, who have won five of these statues in the past. The British trio of Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers -- who morphed from a spare reggae-rock band into an arena powerhouse -- will reunite for the first time since, well, 2003, when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The performance will open the 49th annual Grammy Awards Sunday at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. It will air on CBS at 8 p.m.

Also performing will be Aguilera, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, the Dixie Chicks, Gnarls Barkley, John Legend, Ludacris, John Mayer, Corinne Bailey Rae, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Justin Timberlake and Carrie Underwood.

Before they hand out the little Victrolas, we will now indulge in the time-honored tradition of playing Thursday Morning Quarterback.

Album of the year

Once again, the Grammy keepers didn't give us much to work with here. We've got the Dixie Chicks, Gnarls Barkley, John Mayer, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Justin Timberlake. No Bob Dylan, despite his record being on all the critic lists. And, of course, critical faves like The Hold Steady, the Decemberists and TV on the Radio are nowhere to be found.

Jason DeCrow, Associated Press The Red Hot Chili Peppers are nominated for best rock song. Click photo for larger image.

On with the show. This was the Chicks' moment to declare they were "Not Ready to Make Nice," but really they ended up sounding way too nice (and slick) here. As for the Chili Peppers, great band, of course, especially live, but there's nothing about them that suggests "Let's put out a record with 28 songs!" Rick Rubin, up for producer of the year, could have done better on both of these.

"Continuum" was an artistic leap for Mayer, to be sure, so it wouldn't be an outrage if he won, but it's still a bit vanilla, and the Timberlake is too retro-Jacko for me. Although I'm guessing Timberlake or the Chicks take this Grammy home, my pick is the imperfect Gnarls Barkley record for all the quirky personality and old-school soul that Cee-Lo and Danger Mouse bring to it.

Record of the year

Did you see the "Saturday Night Live" performance with James Blunt staring a hole in the camera? OK, that freaked me out, plus everyone got sick of this song, so forget about "You're Beautiful." Blige's "Be Without You" has a good hook and her always-sublime vocals, but the song is ever-so-slightly shapeless. Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On," has a great early Rickie Lee Jones feel to it, but Gnarls' "Crazy" had me on the first five notes. It was the most perfect single of the year. Still, there's a lot of industry sympathy for the Chicks, deservedly so, and it might be hard to beat "Not Ready to Make Nice."

	Nominee Carrie Underwood will perform during the Grammy telecast Sunday night. Click photo for larger image.

Song of the year

Yeah, yeah, this one goes to the songwriter, but it still looks redundant, as the nominees are the same as Record of the Year, with the exception of the quasi-country-gospel tune "Jesus, Take the Wheel" sung by Carrie Underwood subbing for "Crazy." I'm a sucker for the whole mom-on-the-icy-road-with-the-sleeping-baby-in-the-backseat narrative, so I'm going with "Jesus" here, partly because Underwood makes it so moving.

Best new artist

Why is this always the most screwed up Grammy category? Did they not notice that Gnarls Barkley had four other nominations? And why do they include Imogen Heap, whose debut album came out in 1998, and not, say, Wolfmother? What is new is that this is the first time Grammy has smiled upon an "American Idol" winner here. It was hard to ignore the success of Carrie Underwood, who went straight to the top of the charts and hung around the top 10 for months. Her competition here is from Mr. Blunt (a potential one-hit wonder), Chris Brown (a singer whose voice hasn't changed yet) and the promising Corinne Bailey Rae. I like Underwood for those amazing pipes and that all-American-girl sweetness, and I think the voters will, too.

The Dixie Chicks will perform at the Grammys on Sunday night? Will they be ready to make nice? Click photo for larger image.

Best rock album

As it's called "Rock Album," this Grammy may as well go to an album that actually rocks. That immediately rules out Mayer, and Tom Petty, with the exception of the great first song, "Saving Grace." Neil Young's "Living With War" did rock, but it also plodded. I see this going to the Chili Peppers as a consolation for not winning Album of the Year, but my choice would be Jack White's The Raconteurs for "Broken Boy Soldiers."

Best solo rock vocal performance

Speaking of "Saving Grace," it pops up here against heavyweights Dylan and Young, plus a gutbucket-bluesy Beck and Mayer (again). Give Petty props for one song on his record that sounds like the man in his prime.

Best rock song

Never thought I'd say Chili Peppers ("Dani California") over Dylan. If it were "Thunder on the Mountain," not "Someday Baby," it might be different.

Best alternative music album

Flaming Lips and Thom Yorke were among the year's most highly anticipated and, alas, most disappointing records. We already gave Gnarls Barkley Album of the Year, so we're left with two good choices: the Arctic Monkeys and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The Monkeys smack of British flavor of the month and the singer seems like someone you might want to slap, so we send out a hearty Yeah Yeah Yeah to Karen O and her retro-New Wave punks from Brooklyn for "Gold Lion."

Best rock performance by a duo or group with vocal

This is a tough category, because there are four really good rock songs, and that one by The Fray. The standout is "Dani California," where the Red Hot Chili Peppers crank out the funk with a blast of Hendrix.

Best pop vocal album

Here we go -- Elvis Costello or Christina Aguilera? How often does that choice come up? This will probably go to Mayer or Timberlake, but if this is about the best singing, it goes to our girl Christina who can wail and also took some chances here. (Ed Masley will never speak to me again.)

Best pop performance by a duo or group with vocal

It's absolutely hilarious that Grammy voters have to compare "My Humps" to Death Cab for Cutie's "I Will Follow You into the Dark," which out-folks most of the music in the folk category. Oh, just give it to The Fray for "Over My Head" and get it over with.

Best R&B album

Prince should have owned this category, and certainly owns the Super Bowl halftime show, but "3121" wasn't the little guy at his best. That brings us to Ms. Blige, whom we've already snubbed here several times. The Grammy should go to her "Breakthrough."

Best rap album

Two of these -- Ludacris and T.I. -- were winners on the charts in a tough year for hip-hop. They fall short, however, as complete albums, whereas The Roots' "Game Theory" feels like the real deal -- "Let it bang on the block/till the neighbors call the cops."

Best rap song

Weird Al Yankovic knows the score here. The most infectious rap song of the year was Chamillionaire's "Ridin," a winner even if you can't hear the song without inserting the words "White and Nerdy."

Best contemporary folk/americana album and best traditional folk album

Hey Grammys, put these two awards on the TV broadcast this year and hand them to Dylan ("Modern Times") and Springsteen ("We Shall Overcome"), respectively. Even have them come up on stage together. That'll make for interesting television and keep the geezers tuned in.

Best Hawaiian music album

Amy Hanaiali'i'a "Generation Hawai'i" was a progressive ukulele gem, while Ledward Ka'apana's "Grandmaster Slack Key Guitar" had a great title and a soothing tropical vibe that ... wait, who are we kidding? We don't know anything about Hawaiian music.