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PrintRoad test or saliva test?
Peter Ford, The Christian Science Monitor's Beijing correspondent, wrote yesterday about getting a Chinese driver's license and came across some unusual questions on the written test. Question 10.15, for example:
What should a driver do when he needs to spit while driving?
A. Spit through the window.
B. Spit into a piece of waste paper, then put it into a garbage can.
C. Spit on the floor of the vehicle.
It's not a question you'll find in Pennsylvania's Driver's Manual, but China is a spitter's paradise. So, while Chinese drivers might know the correct answer, for test purposes, is B, in everyday practice, the preferred solution would be, no question, option A. (In Pittsburgh, by the way, the correct answer is: You open the door at a stop light and cut loose, to the delight of the motorists behind you.)
Warning: This item is disgusting
Spitting is so prevalent in China that Shanghai passed a no-spitting regulation (good luck with that) and provided cab drivers with spit sacks. The sacks, hung inside the cabs, can accommodate both the driver's and the passengers' spitting needs.
Now that you've lost your breakfast, we must ask: Did Shanghai really think this through? Is it really preferable to ride around in a taxi with a bag full of hockers (or hawkers), rather than putting up with the driver spitting out the window? Besides, Shanghai's curb-your-spitting track record is not good. Spittoons were attached to public trash bins, but most people have used them as ashtrays.
Honk if you like driving
Drivers should:
A. Deliberately underestimate each other.
B. Compete for road supremacy.
C. Learn and help each other, adopt one's strong point while overcoming one's weak point and keep safely driving.
C seems correct, if getting a license is the goal. But, if reality matters, the answer is "honk their horns at all times," according to bloggers who have driven in China.
Beep-beep!
"Chinese drivers honk their horn often, warning other drivers, bicyclists and pedestrians of their approach. This got on my nerves, as I have been conditioned to hear the horn sounded in anger, as in a traffic jam or when a driver cuts you off . . .
"An annoying habit I observed is spitting. I even saw a man spit on the floor of a restaurant. I'm told this is a habit of the older generation." buffalostate.edu/orgs
"Actually, the blame for the honking goes not to drivers but people on the street. They just wander about on major highways, as if drunk or lost. They don't seem to care whether they get hit or not." cyclingpeace.blogspot.com
"I am compiling a list of translations from Chinese honking to English:
"Look out. Stop. Go. Don't move. Don't do what I think you're going to do. I'm going to pass you on your right. I'm going to pass you on your left. I beg your pardon, but you need to move. I beg your pardon, but you really need to move. I beg your pardon, but I almost hit you back there. Please move a few feet to your left. Please move a few feet to your right. Hello, you stupid foreigner, what are you doing? Hello, would you like a ride? Look at me, I'm pleased to be operating a motor vehicle." aufrecht.org/joel-in-china
He's so mad he could spit
From England comes the tale of a honked-off Steven Milne, 28, of Merseyside. Steve stopped his car and honked his horn several times when a man walked out in front of him. The man, we must point out, was talking on a cell phone.
A police officer hit Mr. Milne with an $80 fine on the spot. Said a police spokesman: "When you come to a stop and carry on blowing your horn, you are using it for a reason other than which it was intended. The horn is a courtesy rather than an insult. Used unnecessarily, it could alarm other drivers and increase the risk of an accident by distracting them."
Mr. Milne didn't see it that way. "I'm amazed it went this far," he told the Liverpool Daily Post. "If I had run the guy over, I would probably have got off lighter."
The people speak
From the entertaining bulletin board on fark.com, which carried the above item:
"The article doesn't mention if the pedestrian was in a crosswalk. If he was, then he gets a pass from me, even if he was on his digital leash."
"I hate horn honkers and cell phone addicts equally. Let them battle it out in 'Thunderdome.'"
"I think all the [jerks] who make it hard to carry on a decent mobile phone conversation are rude. The person could have been making stock trades or checking the status of a hospitalized relative. But regardless of the content, would it be too much to ask that the rest of you keep it down a bit?"
"I have a strange compulsion to flush the toilet continuously when someone is on his cell phone in the men's room. If the conversation really can't be interrupted for the call of nature, then he can just hold it."
"Why didn't he simply wind down his window and scream, 'Get out of the [goldarn] road, [jerk], before you get hit by a car.'"
"The Police officer said it all: 'When you come to a stop and carry on blowing your horn, you are using it for a reason other than which it was intended.' That was road rage, regardless of the idiocy of the pedestrian."
"If you're yibbering on the phone while crossing the street, it becomes that much harder to do the infamous Bostonian 'Glare and Go' method of jaywalking."
"You know, you wouldn't think that would work, but it does. I've used that method, too. But usually I'm not quite jaywalking; I'm battling cars that are turning."
"Our own stupidity has allowed most people (or it it just Americans?) to interpret horn-honking an insult, rather than a neutral form of communication between motorists. You might not be angry at all, but when you touch the horn, your car makes an angry sound, and your fellow motorists attribute this angry sound to your actual feelings. Which is often WAY off."
"Cars should have two horns. The one that's easiest to reach (on the wheel) would retain the obnoxious sound that [ticks] people off so much. But you'd also have a friendly horn for when the person in front of you doesn't realize the light has turned green, or when you're trying to let somebody into your lane who seems hopelessly meek.
"In the western U.S., people all stop for pedestrians at crosswalks. Here in the east, we accelerate."
