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Predictions for the year to come
Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Before 2007 gets any older, here's a chance to mark your calendars for what's to come:

Jan. 4
In town on a promotional tour for "Charlotte's Web," 12-year-old actress Dakota Fanning mistakenly refers to the city as "Spitsburgh," then giggles before correcting herself. Local officials and media angrily call for boycott of movie and removal of her "War of the Worlds" DVDs from stores.

Jan. 15
Penguins announce they are prepared to accept a bid for the team from a Nebraska billionaire who intends to relocate the team to that state.

Feb. 13
Ending speculation about his future career, former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum enters race for Republican nomination for mayor of Pittsburgh. He calls questions about his lack of a Pittsburgh address "an irrelevant topic created by the media."

Feb. 22
Scurrying to prevent the Penguins' threatened departure for Omaha, local politicians unveil Plan J, which would use state funds to cover the Dormont pool with an ice rink and roof and install 17,200 portable seats.

March 6
As construction begins on the Majestic Star casino on the North Shore, two children wandering over from the Carnegie Science Center to gawk are accidentally knocked by a crane into the Ohio River. "See, told you -- this just isn't an appropriate place for a casino," a Steelers official comments.

March 15
No. 4-ranked Pitt men's basketball team suffers unexpected opening-round defeat to Nicholls State in NCAA tournament.

April 9
Coraopolis native Michael Keaton, despite last year's critical remarks about the Pirates, takes the mound at PNC Park for opening day's ceremonial first pitch outfitted in a muzzle. He's whisked away afterward under armed guard to view remainder of game (which Pirates lose 8-1) at undisclosed location.

April 20
In another blow to the city's image, the Pittsburgh Regional Planning Association announces relocation to New York City.

April 29
Ben Roethlisberger lapses into coma when deep-sea diving off Australia's Great Barrier Reef without using an oxygen tank. Steelers expect him to miss one or two preseason games but be fine for season opener.

May 15
In a crowded Democratic mayoral primary, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl ekes out victory over Bill Peduto, Michael Lamb, Tom Flaherty, Guy Costa, Michael Dawida, David Caliguiri and Corey O'Connor. Santorum wins GOP nomination unopposed.

May 28
During Pittsburgh filming of a drama series for Spike TV, actor John Leguizamo tells an interviewer from Variety: "It's an OK city that appears to have suffered some industrial decline and population losses." Talk show hosts rage that the production should immediately be shut down, and police detain Leguizamo on unspecified charges.

June 7
Allegheny County Council votes to extend its smoking ban to all new residential developments, as well as parking lots, riverfronts, sidewalks, sewers and bell towers. Exempted from the ban are funicular exits and Dan Onorato's plumber.

June 17
Wallowing eight games under .500, with most of their starting rotation on the disabled list, the desperate Pirates call up 38-year-old Japanese pitcher Masumi Kuwata from Indianapolis. He throws a two-hit shutout against the Chicago White Sox.

June 30
As Penguins load skates, sticks and equipment onto charter at Pittsburgh International Airport, local officials hold impromptu news conference to announce Plan Q, which would give team state-of-the-art arena at discount price at site of former East Hills Shopping Center. Mario Lemieux says Penguins will weigh their options.

July 5
Masumi Kuwata wins his fourth consecutive start for the Pirates before a Thursday night sellout crowd waving Japanese flags at PNC Park. Through an interpreter, he says: "I like it to be here very, very much. Very many old people in Pittsburgh, even older than me. Make me feel much young again."

July 22
Two men with light brown skin, seen joking on a tour of the Carnegie Science Center's USS Requin submarine, are mistaken for terrorists. They're detained without charges for 72 hours before homeland security officers call it a silly misunderstanding.

Aug. 2
With all 1,535 condominium-apartment units planned in the Golden Triangle quickly reserved by empty-nesters begging for Downtown living, the owner of U.S. Steel Tower announces it will be converted to a 965-unit high-rise condo by spring of 2008.

Aug. 25
After final Steelers preseason contest, media seek clarification from Bill Cowher on whether he intends to coach the team this year. "That will be a game-time decision," he responds with a glare.

Aug. 30
When the Nebraska businessman pulls out on him, and his consultants find environmental contamination no one told him about at the East Hills site, Mario Lemieux announces he is taking his family and the Penguins to a remote Pacific island to spend the rest of their lives.

Sept. 1
At Penn State's opening football game, 80-year-old coach Joe Paterno suffers gout, breaks his hip in a fall and confuses a football for a turnip. At a press conference afterward, he vows to coach until 2015.

Sept. 8
In the first mayoral debate of the general election, Rick Santorum brings his children on-stage to show that Luke Ravenstahl appears no older than any one of them. Cameras capture Ravenstahl and Santorum's 9-year-old daughter crying next to each other.

Sept. 30
The Pirates finish one game out of the baseball playoffs, after Masumi Kuwata heroically goes the distance in a 12-inning, 1-0 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals. He earns distinction as the oldest Rookie of the Year in history, after going 13-2 with a 1.74 ERA. In locker room afterward, his right arm falls off.

Oct. 11
Actress Sienna Miller is spotted at Pittsburgh International Airport terminal during change of planes. "There's the witch -- get her!" one businessman shouts, leading mob which beats her semiconscious.

Oct. 14
Attending his first Steelers game at Heinz Field, Majestic Star casino owner Don Barden observes tailgating outside and obnoxious fans inside and says he is considering relocating to Station Square. "This unruly behavior could detract from the positive, fun environment we're trying to create on the North Shore," he says.

Oct. 29
Construction on the $435 million light-rail extension from Downtown to the North Side is halted by findings of bones in the tunnel path beneath the Allegheny River. Port Authority officials are required to abandon the first $110 million in work and start anew.

Nov. 6
Rick Santorum wins election as Pittsburgh's next mayor and declares secession from Democratic-controlled Allegheny County.

Nov. 12
Most of Kilbuck Township slides into the Ohio River on the eve of Wal-Mart opening its new hilltop store. Developer denies responsibility and suggests a CSX train may have moved through the area too loudly.

Nov. 16
Crowds flock Downtown on Light Up Night and gape at window displays under the Dress Barn clock at Fifth and Smithfield, as that retailer had bought out Boscov's, which acquired all Macy's department stores during the summer.

Dec. 9
Reached in Raleigh, N.C., via e-mail during halftime of the Steelers tie game with Baltimore, Coach Bill Cowher says things will work out fine if they stick with the running game, and he intends to make that clear to offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt if his cell phone battery recharges in time.

Dec. 31
Gamblers, including several Rooney family members, begin camping out along North Shore riverfront to be first in line for March 2008 opening of Majestic Star casino.

First published on January 2, 2007 at 12:00 am
Gary Rotstein can be reached at grotstein@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1255. Brian O'Neill has the day off.
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