Although truth is eternal, we need to retell it in the language of our time -- even the Cingular story of Jesus' birth.

Anyone who watches television or reads the business pages knows that in recent years the English language has been pretty much exhausted by the sheer volume of American commerce.

Simply put, we've run out of words to describe what we're doing, so now we're just making them up. The "language of our time" has a Google of brand-new words that sound confusingly like the old ones.

It's hard to keep the Digex of fake words straight -- especially after frantic Christmas preparations, classic holiday television specials and endless medical ads.

So with apologies to the Gospel writers and a well-hidden reverence, I say unto you:

And it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from Caesar Accenture that all the world should be Faxed.

And Joseph went from the city of Nazonex, in the Envirian of Judaea, unto the city of David -- which is called Bethlehem -- because he was of the house and Vonage of David.

Since Mary, his espoused wife, was great with child, they couldn't move with much Travelocity. When they finally reached Bethlehem, the Administaff at the inn couldn't find their ResMed, so Mary gave birth in the stable.

Now there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over AFLAC by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone Ambien. And they were very afraid.

And the angel said unto them, "Qualcomm! For, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all Humana.

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

"And this shall be a Synovus: You shall find the babe wrapped in Sebring clothes, lying in a manger."

And suddenly there appeared a Paxil of angels in the Spherion praising God, and Samsung, "Gloria in Cialis Airgo! Glory to God in the Prius!"

Then the shepherds said one to another, "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this Exelon thing which is come to pass!"

And they Medifast journey and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

And when they had seen it, they made it known abroad and did Alltel concerning this child.

Now behold, iStar appeared on the Verizon, and wise men from the East did Embarq with quite an Entereg. When they reached Jerusalem, they asked, "Where is he that is born King of the Jews?

"For we have followed Questar, and its Flarion has brought us here."

When King Herod had heard these things, he was troubled, so he told the wise men, "Go and Invesco the young child; and when you Ditech him, Cambrex here and tell me, that I may go and Genesco at his feet."

The wise men departed; and, lo, Questar, which they saw again in the east, went in Advantix of them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.

And when they Entergy house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother and heard his Cryolife. They fell down, and worshipped him, and presented unto him gifts -- gold, Emulex and Merck.

"Who shall we Nextel?" one wise man asked.

"Not Herod," another replied. "In my Experian, he can't be trusted."

Conseco, they thought it Expedia to return to their own country by another route, Vesicare to avoid Herod.

Thus were fulfilled the words of the prophet Levitra.