Daniel Marsula, Post-Gazette Click photo for larger image.

A: While we understand your daughter's excitement, we commend your wanting her to learn about the spirit of giving. We have a few ideas that might help.

Toy catalogs can be a fun start to the holidays, so you don't want to take that away. But a "multiple color post-it" strategy can broaden your daughter's focus. For example, give her just five blue post-its to mark the top five things she wants. Then have her use green post-its to mark toys she'll give to other children on her holiday list -- perhaps siblings or cousins or friends. Once that's accomplished, she can use yellow post-its to mark gifts to buy and donate to organizations such as Toys for Tots. This way, she gets to mark her own toy preferences -- but she also shares the joys and the toys with other kids.

		Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

Your daughter can keep two banks in her room, year-round piggy banks or just jars; it doesn't matter. One is her own savings, and one is the "giving bank." Every night, she can put spare change (her own and/or some from you and your wife) in the two banks, dividing it equally. Every year, when the holiday season begins, help her choose a charitable organization -- and take her there to donate the money in the giving bank.

Many schools, churches, and other organizations have holiday "angel trees," with names, ages, and interests of children to whom gifts will be donated. Let your daughter choose a child and then select an appropriate gift.

Check with nearby nursing homes to see if they have "adopt-a-grandparent" programs. Throughout the year, you and your daughter can visit; then she can give a holiday gift to the adopted grandparent. Your little girl will see her gift put to use by someone with whom she's developed a special relationship.

Good luck -- and happy holidays!