Land of the rising ton

With worldwide obesity threatening to affect the rotation of the Earth, thus leading to dangerous levels of global warming and daylight-saving time, you'd think a couple of porkers with prominent jobs in their government's health service would slim down, since they're role models of sorts. Well, that's exactly what happened in Japan. Two health vice-ministers are putting their bellies where their mouths are. Keizo Takemi and Noritoshi Ishida, both 55, have promised to lose weight over the next six months -- Takemi, 11 pounds; Ishida, 13.

(Perhaps their weight loss goals are a tad modest. Mr. Takemi, for example, weighs 185 pounds with a 39 1/2-inch waist, at only 5-foot-5. But that's easy for us to say. As the Chinese say, an 11-pound weight loss begins with a single pound.)

To give their promises some heft, the two will document their efforts on a weekly blog for all to see, the Yomiuri Shimbun reported. Despite Japan's famed longevity and traditionally low-fat diet, a record number of Japanese -- an estimated 20 million -- are struggling with their weight. The rise in the number of flabby bellies has been blamed on the spread of Western fast food and a more sedentary lifestyle. The weekly updates will include the two guys' weight and waist measurements, amount of alcohol consumed and -- hide the kids -- photographs of their bellies, to assure the public that the stats aren't being doctored.

Sure, I'll handle your wedding

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Say you're in Japan and you need some spare change or a job. You might want to consider becoming a fake priest. You can do this in reasonably good conscience, because Japanese couples are willing accomplices, BBC News reports. It seems Christian-style weddings are so popular in Japan, that there are hundreds of agencies employing fake Western priests. Japanese Christians make up only 1 percent of the country, but about 90 percent of weddings are in the Christian style, because your Christians, well, they have the theatrics and romantic atmosphere down. The ceremonies are not legal -- the couples have to make a trip to the local registrar. But you can't beat the wedding gown, the pomp and, of course, the kiss.

The hazards of holy orders

Being a fake priest is not just a day at the altar or a piece of wedding cake. Mark Kelly, an Englishman, has been living in Japan for six years and works weekends as a phony clergyman. In his own words:

"Once I was holding a ceremony and an old man dressed head to toe in military uniform hobbled to the front and fell asleep. Halfway through the service, he opened his eyes, and I think he was back in Burma or Thailand. He looked straight at me, stood up and started unsheathing his rifle. Fortunately. he was pretty slow and his relatives stopped him."

"It's common that the bride is pregnant. Once, one vomited on me and then fainted. It wasn't very romantic."

"I give a good performance. I use an Apache wedding prayer in my ceremony. It works very well, although I had to take out the part about the bear god in the sky. If people are crying by the end of the wedding, I've done a good job."

Same thing in China

Japan is not the only Asian country gaga over Western wedding customs. With names such as Paris, Love in New York and Rome Style Life, Taiwanese-owned wedding photography studios dominate one of Beijing's busiest shopping districts, according to The Washington Post.

The studios are filled with angel wings, confetti-filled balloons and red hearts. Their model albums picture themed sets titled French Boudoir, Jungle Love and Steamy Bathroom -- complete with costumes and recommended poses. For $375, packages include at least five costume changes and a trip to pose in front of a nearby Roman Catholic church, even though most couples aren't Christian. A typical wedding will cost $1,250, just more than three months' salary. But one man spent $2,250 to have his photos taken in Paris -- the French capital, not the studio of that name down the street.

My Fat Chinese Wedding

Even though 24 million Chinese live in abject poverty and suffer malnutrition, many Chinese -- an estimated 60 million -- manage to be obese, largely because of -- yes, you guessed it -- increased intake of junk food, one of America's leading exports. Statistics show that about 160 million Chinese have high blood pressure and 20 million have diabetes, the Xinhua News Agency has reported. We suggest that the entire Chinese government take a cue from the Japanese health ministers and have a little fun seeing who can out weight-loss whom, with the losers forced to do hard time at the Tiananmen Square McDonald's.