Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:   Catherine Specter   Post-Gazette   34 Blvd. of the Allies   Pittsburgh, Pa.   15222   ... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

Dear Cat: A close friend is dating a guy who has an incredible story about his background that we find hard to swallow. She's already caught him "fibbing" about some of it, but he's offered reasonably convincing explanations to keep her satisfied. We didn't trust him, so we did some Internet investigating and found out that he is a big fat liar about major things. But my friend seems happy being blissfully ignorant. We're worried what else he'll lie about and get away with. Is it worth upsetting her by telling her what we found, to prevent the damage he could do? Or is it her mistake to make? -- Trying to Catch a Cad in Cali

Dear Trying: No matter what you do, it's her mistake to make. She's already decided to stay with a fibber. You know she's being played, and she probably knows it, too. The role of friends is to look out for each other. You don't have to tell her what to. Instead, give the truth so she can make an informed decision. Lies big and small are red flags.

Cat's Call: If your friend chooses to be color-blind, she's only fibbing herself.

Dear Cat: OK, you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, but "winter white" is acceptable? I'll be traveling to a snowy vacation spot and I want to look good. Are my white jeans OK? Your call? -- Is White All Right?

Dear White: Forget "rules." It's all about fabric and seasonally appropriate pieces. Winter white is stunning and flatters absolutely everybody. As winter nears, you'll find luscious white hats, scarves, wraps, sweaters and trousers in every fabric from cashmere to merino to flannel to heavy cotton. Your white jeans can work, but they should fit like a glove and fall just so over wood- or cork-heeled boots.

Cat's Call: Most things can be worn with flair if the wearer has the moxie and confidence to do it.

Dear Cat (Re: your Oct. 17 column about Howard Stern, Just Ask Cat: Is this a Stern warning?): Free speech is our special gift, but should we give it air time? Please rethink your comments. You really shocked me. I guess you need to have a little girl of your own before you can fully understand that brand of degradation. -- Former Fan

Dear F.F.: Should free speech get air time? Hmm, if you answer "no," then which speech does merit air time? Think of it this way: If free speech were removed from society's media outlets, nothing would get air time. What a great concept! Radio stations could broadcast static 24/7. The knitting channel would be huge! Silent movies would be all the rage (without subtitles, of course). No books, magazines, or newspapers would be written, and all witty banter would go the way of the dodo. Party time! Wait a sec, childless women can't appreciate the plight of others? Wow, you're pretty free with that presumptuousness. Do notice how we disagree, yet I still gave "air time" to you.

Cat's Call: Free speech rocks, doesn't it?