DEAR CAT: My girlfriend and I have a HUGE ongoing argument about Howard Stern. Personally I am a big fan of the "King of All Media" -- I even bought a Sirius subscription since he left "terrestrial radio." She thinks he is misogynistic, crude, obscene and despicable, and those are the nice things she says. She even says he shouldn't be allowed to broadcast his "filth" over American airwaves and that if I like him I must have a sick and twisted opinion of women. This argument is getting worse. I feel like I have to choose between Howard and my girlfriend. What do you think? Is Howard that bad? If I like him, does that mean I don't have respect for women? -- BABABOOIE

	Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:   Catherine Specter   Post-Gazette   34 Blvd. of the Allies   Pittsburgh, Pa.   15222   ... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

Cat's Call: If she thinks you don't respect women, why is she your girlfriend?

DEAR CAT: Months ago I met a woman who was in town on business. We hit it off and e-mailed, IM'd or talked, often multiple times per day. She eventually came to town again and we dated. We talked about dating long-distance and continued communicating to see where it goes. Now our frequency is about twice a week. She's very busy with work, so should I follow suit and cut back communicating with her or continue as usual? I don't want to play games or try to "match" her moves, but sometimes I think space is needed, right? I just don't want to come off as spiteful, as I am certainly not. -- GAME HATER

DEAR GAME: Dating kinda requires seeing people in person (i.e. actual dates), otherwise it's just carrying on with a flirty pen pal. Phone, e-mail and IM won't cut it for long unless it's a serious relationship (even then it's no cakewalk) because it's too hard to keep up the pace. People lose steam and rarely at the same time. No need to match her frequency; instead try planning an actual date. If she's not game, you have your answer. As for her needing space ...

Cat's Call: There's already mileage between you. How much more could she need?

DEAR CAT: Do you think there's any chance that a guy who describes himself as, "a very bad man" is just saying that to create a dangerous mystique about himself? -- CURIOUS WOMAN

DEAR CURIOUS: Nope. He's telling you something real about himself. Don't spin it to suit your curiosity.

Cat's Call: Run away, fast.