Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:   Catherine Specter   Post-Gazette   34 Blvd. of the Allies   Pittsburgh, Pa.   15222   ... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

DEAR CAT: I was raised in a "prissy" way. My mother thought that high heels and lipstick were the marks of an easy woman. Try as I might, even at age 34 I am unable to shake that old notion, even though I love heels and makeup and form-fitting clothes. I suppose I'm just looking for some validation of my non-prissy take on things. -- MADAME DEMURE

DEAR M.D.: If my call helps validate that you're a grown woman who has every right to dress, feel and use makeup however she wants, then it's here for the taking. High heels and lipstick can mean nothing at all. Or they can mean fun. Or chic. Or just plain sexy. There comes a time when you have to own who you are ... despite the rules you learned at age 8.

Cat's Call: Stilettos don't mean easy. They mean business.

---

DEAR CAT: The letter from "Uncertain" published Aug. 13(8-13-06) was extremely hilarious. She is totally off-base that her boyfriend is a small-minded homophobe because he won't watch "Brokeback Mountain." He's like 100 percent of the heterosexual male population. Just because a guy doesn't want to see other guys being gay does not make him a homophobe. I'm dying to know: Would she be open-minded if her boyfriend brought home a film like "Brianna Loves Jenna" (2001)? "Jenna Loves Brianna"? Maybe he would not respect her closed-mindedness either. -- STRAIGHT FORWARD

DEAR STRAIGHT: It's so hard to type while laughing, but I'm a sport. Saying he'd turn down $1,000 just for watching a movie says something about the guy's hard-core resistance (phobia, perhaps?) to the film's content. The small-minded thing comes from adamantly resisting something based only on hearsay and 30-second trailers. I saw that movie with a 100 percent heterosexual male.

Cat's Call: He was still 100 percent after the credits ran. Maybe 110 percent.

---

DEAR CAT: After a half-century of watching, I am convinced that relationships built on lust are basically built on sand. The very word "relationship" now means a passionate coupling with little else to hold it together. Maybe more young men and women should wait at least six months before they become intimate. That way, a true "relationship" can be built. Your call? -- WATCHFUL WOMAN

DEAR W.W.: There are different kinds of relationships and intimacy, but sex changes things, no doubt about it. Your idea might seem old-school to some people, but everyone knows that once dating goes from dinner and good-night kisses to breakfast and good-morning hookups, things hit a new level. But it's a two-sided coin: It's good to let personalities play out before sex is added to the mix, but it's also good to test-drive a car before buying it. Trouble happens when people confuse lust and love, especially early on. And it's not always possible to prevent that confusion, no matter how long you wait. The keys are maturity and realistic expectations. If both people have 'em ...

Cat's Call: Sexual "wait times" shouldn't be necessary.