W.C. Fields' tombstone inscription goes double for football: "I'd rather be here than Philadelphia."

Mark Wahlberg as Vince Papale tries out for the Philadelphia Eagles in "Invincible." Click photo for larger image. 'Invincible' Rating: PG for sports action and some mild language. Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Greg Kinnear, Elizabeth Banks, Kevin Conway. Director: Ericson Core. Web site: disney.go.com/disneypictures/invincible/ Related articles The 'Invincible' dream: Philadelphia Eagle Vince Papale got to live his football fantasy Movie role wasn't a stretch for sportswriter Family Film Guide

It's not polite to gloat, so we'll allude no more to the Steelers. But there's nothing wrong with a little pat on the head for Eagles fans, a Keystone's throw away, or with a little feel-good movie called "Invincible" that will make them feel -- well, perhaps not deliriously good, but better.

Mark Wahlberg stars in this true story of South Philly phenom Vince Papale, a laid-off teacher-turned-bartender who is down on his domestic as well as occupational luck in 1976. Early on, his nagging wife does him and the plot a favor by leaving and taking everything in their gritty flat that isn't nailed down.

Also down on their luck are the hapless Philadelphia Eagles. Their new coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear), just hired out of UCLA and charged with shaking things up, announces open tryouts -- more as a publicity stunt than a real talent search. In South Philly, where jobs are scarce and strikes are in progress, it's taken seriously. Vince, a whiz on his local muddy sandlot, is 30 years old and has never even played college football. Everybody calls him a failure. But why not give it a try?

He does so, of course, and his rookie enthusiasm at training camp gives the lackadaisical pros a run for their overpaid money -- earning their hatred. His consolation prize is hot co-bartender Janet (Elizabeth Banks), a Giants fan now undergoing conversion. Meanwhile, the barflies he plays pick-up games with have mixed reactions. Supportive ones like bar owner Max (Michael Rispoli) live vicariously through his exploits. Jealous pal Johnny (Dov Davidoff), on the other hand, gives him a hard time.

Wahlberg is macho-silent but sufficiently sensitive. Kinnear proves preppy but equally sensitive. Banks is cute and moderately sensitive.

Producers Mark Ciardi and Gordon Gray specialize in turning sports miracles into movies like "The Rookie" (2002), about a high-school baseball coach who made the Major Leagues, and "Miracle," which profiled the man who inspired the great 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team upset.

Vince and "Invincible" evince their (and Disney's) same, simplistic, inspirational formula: sports action, fan fanaticism and shameless tugging at the heartstrings. Director-photographer Ericson Core squeezes every possible drop of emotion and '70s nostalgia out of the material, from the opening Jim Croce song ("I Got a Name") through the holy gridiron grail at the end of a familiar "Rocky" road.

Vince's dad, Frank (Kevin Conway), cheers on his son by reminding him that the Eagles got them through the tragic death of Vince's mother -- that the Eagles, evidently, get everybody in downtrodden Philly through their trials and tribulations of the time.

"Invincible," opening on the cusp of the new NFL season, is football as psycho-social panacea. An underdog's success cures what ails ya, or at least alleviates the symptoms. "A man can only take so much failure," says Frank.

In which regard, apropos of tonight's game in Philadelphia, we wish those Eagles and their fans all the insincere luck in the world.