Among the questions I get commonly, only a few have been around for the entirety of my 55 years in sports writing, and of those, two are most reliable: "Gene, why can't you do something about your appearance?" and "Why are you picking on [him, her, them, us, this, that, the other thing]?"

So before the rant that's coming right up proceeds, it should be clear that I'm not picking on poker and Little League baseball, especially in the context to be presented, which has a lot more to do with television.

This being August, it is again painfully obvious, at least to me, that there is way too much poker and Little League baseball on TV, too much in this context being literally translated as any at all.

But again, I'm not picking on them.

There are plenty of things that shouldn't be on TV in any amount, including, just right off the top of my head, Dr. Phil, Regis Philbin, Elimidate (oops, just canceled. See?), Miss Teen USA, Sex and the City, E! News, The O'Reilly Factor, and The Stupidest Damn Sports Show Period. Truth be retold, I'm not even sure television should be on television, but that's just me.

But since we've got no compunctions that would prevent the televising of the World Series of Poker, in which 8,772 players (8,199 of them wearing sunglasses) play cards until $83 million is split most unevenly to a 36-year-old Malibu TV producer (he won $12 million), and no better judgment than to put some 90-pound 11-year-olds who are unfortunate enough to have advanced to the Little League World Series into the national spotlight for the raw exploitation of selling something on the contrived drama of their pre-pubescent misadventures, then let's just go ahead and take what is clearly the next logical step: The Little League World Series of Poker.

Now there's an idea that slam dunks the cute factor, no?

You'll thrill to the way those stacks of poker chips no longer look so vaguely sinister when you put some freckles and maybe a runny nose behind them. Why should 10-year-old Molly wait until she's in high school to learn the implications of two queens showing?

Of course, I wouldn't watch it, but millions would.

When you're 11, the demands of the all-important poker face are probably not among the aptitudes of either the facial muscles or the still-developing risk-reward psychology, so that should make for great theatre.

Oh, there's that five Timmy was looking for but unfortunately it's clubs, so no flush but plenty of gush as Timmy collapses in great heaving sobs. Back after this from Budweiser.

You'd fully expect the slow-motion replay of the crying jag right after the break.

Right there you can see the lower jaw starting to quiver, and that's all she wrote! This is the third time he has started bawling in the tournament so far, which is pretty impressive but it's still no threat to the tournament record set last year here in Vegas by Wet Wendy Wiedenhoffer, who pretty much started wailing after the first hand and didn't quit until the second Thursday of the competition.

Don't for a minute suggest that parents wouldn't stand for this kind of stuff.

If there was a chance for some national face time for Justin and some money on the table, there's a nation crawling with hyper-parenting moms and dads who wouldn't hesitate to put Doyle Brunson's "Super System" onto Ashley's required summer reading list.

It is Brunson, a 10-time World Series of Poker bracelet winner, after all, who's known as the man who proved that age is no factor in this game. But the question isn't, "why would it be?"; the question is, "are 9-year-olds allowed to play?"

I don't see why not, not when ESPN's not only televising the Little League World Series, but the regional finals that anoint the participants. You see where that's headed, don't you? The Little League Network, with 24/7 coverage of such indispensable offerings as the Tuesday night practice by the Herb's Plumbing Tigers of Nutley, N.J., who'll be holding open tryouts to see if anyone can make the third-to-first throw without hurting somebody.

And that, of course, shouldn't be on television, which is sort of how you know it will be.