Yo Ho Hollywood ... A pirate's life for me!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

By Barry Paris, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

From first wooden sword to last Hathaway Man eyepatch, most males -- and more than a few females -- have played out their buccaneer fantasies and stoked a collective appetite for piracy that Hollywood has been ever happy to indulge.

The theater and sports worlds did the initial indulging around the turn of the previous century, with Gilbert & Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance" and Pittsburgh's Pirates of (Precious Few) Pennants. In team-name terms, "Dodgers" sounded a little shifty but "Pirates" were the only out-and-out outlaws. The basic noun, after all, comes from the Greek peirates, meaning "to attempt an attack."

More than 10,000 stage productions and a dozen film-and-TV versions of the G&S musical have been logged to date, while local baseball buffs' beloved "Angels in the Outfield" (1951) was released as "Angels and the Pirates" in England.

But it's "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" and close encounters of the plank-walking kind that we're concerned with today. In which regard, it may or may not stun you to realize that before Johnny Depp acquired rights to the skull-and-crossbones logo, moviemakers had cranked out 147 previous variations on the theme.

They range wildly in quality and approach, dramatic to comic, literal to metaphorical, nastily nautical to nice. Although increasingly campy, the genre knows no bounds but the bounding main and the boundaries of your imagination. In my 1950s formative case, it was Cyril Ritchard's comic Captain who hooked me -- with that tick-tocking crocodile clock -- in "Peter Pan." In the case of my parents, it was Errol Flynn's first swashbuckler title role in "Captain Blood" (1935). For their parents it was, well, see chronological No. 2 in the accompanying Top Ten list.

What is it about pirates that we've always found and continue to find so fascinating? The uniquely Anglo-Saxon (Francis Drake) origin and nature of the roguery? The salt-air exhilaration and liberating lawlessness of no-man's-land Neverland on the open seas? Those heavy chests of the heroes and heaving chests of the heroines?

All of the above, of course. And, with the runaway success of Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" in 2003, followed by the opening of its sequel, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," Friday, I'm sure there's a clamoring for my list of Top 10 all-time best pirate movies, and I feel duty bound to comply.

So forget all your favorite terrestrial and aerial adventures. Just contemplate your naval (in chronological order):

"Peter Pan" (1924)

One of the most beautiful silent films ever made, this "Peter Pan" starred Betty Bronson in the lead and boasted state-of-the-art special effects, of which the "flight" of Captain Hook's ship -- taking off from the water into the air, dripping seawater and seaweed -- still produces chills to behold.

"The Black Pirate" (1926)

The film tried out an early Technicolor process, but it was delightful less for that than for its fast pace and for Douglas Fairbanks' charismatic character and heroic athleticism.

"Treasure Island" (1934)

This "Treasure Island" is the real Robert Louis Stevenson thing, directed by Victor ("Gone With the Wind") Fleming, featuring Wallace Beery at his best as Long John Silver, plus Jackie Cooper as Jack Hawkins -- plus Lionel Barrymore and the best production values then available.

"Captain Blood" (1935)

"Captain Blood" forced Irishman Errol Flynn to team up with French cutthroat Basil Rathbone (the actors were natives of Australia and South Africa, respectively) to win the love of tempestuous Olivia de Havilland in addition to the monumental sea battle scored by Erich Wolfgang Korngold.

"The Pirate" (1948)

Vincente Minnelli's musical romp starred wife Judy Garland and clown-pirate Gene Kelly, dazzle-dancing their way into our hearts to the tunes of Cole Porter.

"Blackbeard" (1952)

Under the direction of the great Raoul Walsh, "Blackbeard" starred the now-forgotten Robert Newton as a 17th-century brigand. But it's his sultry captive, Linda Darnell, and bumbling old supporting player William Bendix who provide most of the enjoyment.

"Peter Pan" (1953)

In the Walt Disney animated version, and/or any '50s kinescope of the Mary Martin & Cyril Richard TV-based-on-stage version, with all the lovely songs and welcome addition of Tiger Lily.

"The Pirates of Penzance" (1983)

This intentionally theatrical and far-and-away finest filming of Gilbert & Sullivan's operetta is a production of Joseph Papp's superb Broadwayesque rendering with Kevin Kline, Angela Lansbury and Linda Ronstadt.

"Pirates" (1986)

Top 10 to my but not everyone's taste was director Roman Polanski's sumptuous, widescreen, oddball pirate prank with a silly story but very funny Walter Matthau performance, plus a terrific score (matching Korngold's) by Philippe Sarde.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" (2003)

The first idiosyncratically perfect Depp-Bloom-Knightley teaming was a fine mix of fun, fantasy and fright. You be the judge of whether the sequel (let alone trequel) is up to it.

No Best 10 list would be fully satisfying without a Worst 10 to accompany it. Without comment, I offer the following, whose titles alone suffice to explain their inclusion:

"Poultry Pirates" (animated, 1938)