Q. I'm expecting my second baby, and my son will be 3¹/₂ when the baby is born. How can I help prepare the "big brother" for the new arrival?

A. To help your son transition to the role of big brother and to help him avoid the feeling of being "replaced," we recommend that he be a part of everything you do to prepare for the new baby. Some suggestions:

Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette Click illustration for larger version. Parenting 4 Kids Nationally accredited, 4 Kids Early Learning Network serves children and families throughout the Mon Valley. Through this column, 4 Kids staff members answer reader questions about raising children in the critical early years. E-mail questions for consideration to: questions@4kidsearlyed.org, or mail to: 4 Kids Questions, 445 Fourth St., Braddock, PA 15104.

Try to have him go with you to your next doctor's visit, so he can hear the baby's heartbeat and perhaps see the baby on the sonogram.

Have him help prepare the baby's room. If possible, try to keep your son in his current room -- if you're replacing his furnishings with "big boy" stuff, do so now, and make the reason his wonderful growth, not the coming of the baby.

Ask friends and family members who'll be attending baby showers and giving gifts to continue to give equal attention to your son. Buy a few small gifts for him to open during showers and other celebrations of the baby.

Show him pictures from when you were pregnant with him. Look at his baby book together. Basically, let him feel the excitement you had when you were carrying him.

Let him help choose the baby's name (the key word here is "help").

So much of life as your son knows it will be changing. So, if possible, try to keep to current family schedules and routines -- bedtimes, meals, playtime with friends, and so forth.

Build into your schedule "Mommy and me" and "Daddy and me" time -- something just for your son, whether it's a trip to the park, a special story time (there are a number of good books about new babies), or anything else he might enjoy. Try to continue that as far as possible after the baby arrives.

Reassure him that he will always be your firstborn -- and because of that he will always be special in your heart.

Once the baby is born, your older child can be part of every experience -- helping to soothe the baby, bringing a bottle or diaper to you, helping you read stories to the baby, and even pushing the stroller. This will help teach responsibility and cooperation, and reinforce his role as the big brother.

Good luck -- and congratulations!