DEAR CAT: Get this: I told my husband that I got a haircut. I said it was just a trim. He looked confused but then said I looked very nice. I got upset and he didn't understand why until I said that I didn't really get a haircut. I just wanted to see if he could tell the difference. He thinks I "set him up." But it was just a test to see how little he notices things. And he failed! You're a woman. Do you think I was wrong to do that? -- TRIM THIS

	Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:   Catherine Specter   Post-Gazette   34 Blvd. of the Allies   Pittsburgh, Pa.   15222   ... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

Cat's Call: Now answer the question: How quickly can I grow up?

DEAR CAT: If you're dating a guy who never, ever compliments you, does that mean he's not really interested? -- BOYFRIEND TROUBLE

DEAR B.T.: Fair question; not fair to assume he doesn't really like you. Sometimes guys don't know what to say, when to say it or how to say it. It's de rigueur to tell your girl how pretty she is, or how nice she looks, but sometimes shyness or inexperience or faulty logic about ego-boosting keeps the words from coming out. Try complimenting him and if the gesture is never reciprocated ...

Cat's Call: If he can't manage to say something nice, it's time to question your own interest, not his.

DEAR CAT: I've been dating a woman for a few weeks, and things are good but I'm not sure how often I should be calling. If I call every day, is it too much? I want to talk to her every day, but I don't want to give her the impression that we're serious because it's too early. But if we don't talk, will she think I'm not interested in talking to her? You wrote that guys should ignore the "three day rule," but maybe there's something to it. After all, there's usually a reason certain sayings get passed on. -- THINKING TOO MUCH?

DEAR THINKING: Lots of stupid ideas get passed around, that doesn't mean they're worth your attention. You are thinking too much and about the wrong things. You want to talk to her every day but you don't want to be her boyfriend. Well, you don't want her to think "boyfriend." Talk about stupid ideas that won't go away. Just chill and follow your heart. If she likes hearing from you every day, and that's also what you want, DO IT. How often do you find someone you like this much? Think about it, then remember the saying about letting grass grow. Hey, here's a new saying for you ...

Cat's Call: Never give a woman time to ruminate.