The Pirates cleverly unveiled their promotional schedule for 2006 during the delirious ramp up to Super Bowl XL, the results of which (Steelers 21, Seahawks 10 if you missed it) somehow were left to overshadow the news that Fleece Blanket Night is April 29 against the Philadelphia Phillies.

Yet longtime fans of the annual list of giveaways, keepsakes, and assorted crap finally have begun to give the 2006 schedule the kind of inspection it deserves, especially since the official release included a boisterous "We've taken the gloves off with this year's promotions" from Bucs marketing veep Tim Schuldt.

And you know what that means.

Glove Night.

At least one.

The schedule includes a whopping 75 giveaways and/or promotions on an 81-home date itinerary. There isn't a Just Watch The Damn Game Night until May 30 against the Milwaukee Brewers. Perhaps this crowded merchandising summer was meant to discourage our ever-helpful attitude about filling in the open dates, but, of course, as Coach Cowher might say, we will not be deteered.

Herewith then our annual midwinter's list of Pirates promotions, some real, some made up, and not that anyone's expected to know the difference.

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April 10 -- Opening Day/Magnetic Schedule/Scratch n' Win.

April 11 -- All-Star Game Collectible Pin Night/Itch n' Lose.

April 12 -- Ladies Night Out.

April 13 -- Overstocked Jim Tracy in a Dodgers Uniform Bobblehead Day.

April 14 -- Jolly Roger Cap Night.

April 15 -- All-Star '05 Jason Bay Home Run Derby DVD Night (Reminder: You hit as many homers lying on the couch).

April 16 -- Build a Pirate/Kids Day/Scratch n' Sniff.

April 17 -- Hilarious Adolescent Prank Night.

April 18 -- All-Star Game Collectible Pin Night II.

April 19 -- All-Star Game Collectible Pin Night III: The Final Beginning.

April 28 -- Fireworks Night (well it's about time!).

April 29 -- Fleece Blanket Night.

April 30 -- Beach Blanket Bingo.

May 9 -- All-Star Game Collectible Pin Night Again.

May 10 -- Ladies Night Out II (formerly Girls Night Out. Did you all turn 21 this year or something?)

May 11 -- Seniors and Business Day.

May 12 -- Zack Duke Bobblehead Night.

May 13 -- Jack Wilson/Jose Castillo Double Play Figurine Night.

May 14 -- Freddy Sanchez/Joe Randa Clumsy Fielder's Choice Figurine Day.

May 16 -- Root Canal Night.

May 17 --Invisible Fence Night.

May 18 -- Seniors and Monkey Business Day.

May 26 -- Fireworks.

May 27 -- Oliver Perez/Mike Gonzales "Fire & Ice" Bobblehead Night.

May 28 -- Kids Item TBA (We'll Think of Somethin' Day).

May 29 -- Kip Wells/Roberto Hernandez "Wind & Sleet" Bobblehead Night.

May 30 -- Just Watch The Damn Game Night.

May 31 -- 18K Gold Bonded Sterling Multi-Strand Gold Necklace Night.

June 1 -- State Legislator's Pay Raise Night (16 percent longer hot dog, 34 bigger coke).

June 2 -- Roberto Clemente Cap/1971 World Champs Celebration Night.

June 3 --Three Rivers Stadium Replica/1971 World Champs Celebration Night.

June 4 -- Roberto Clemente Replica Jersey/Giant Purple Dragon Symbolizing Doc Ellis' 1970 No-Hitter on LSD Day.

June 13 -- Hearing Aid Night.

June 14 -- Ladies Not Out Night.

June 15 -- Ill-Fitting Shoes Day.

June 16 -- Fireworks Night.

June 17 -- Bill Mazeroski Bobblehead Night.

June 18 --Kids Opening Day Cap Day.

June 27 -- Dogs Opening Night Cap Night.

June 28 -- Ladies Back Out Night.

June 29 -- NASCAR Driver Appearance (on General Robinson Street at 167.344 miles per hour) Day.

June 30 -- Highly Suspect Online Diploma Night.

July 1 -- Pirates Young Guns Bobblehead Night.

July 2 --Dick Cheney Gun Safety Course Day.

July 14 -- Xtreme Cap Night.

July 15 -- Beach Towel Night.

July 16 -- Cheesy Dish Towel Magnet Day.

July 17 -- Scratch 'til it Bleeds Night.

July 18 -- Just Watch the Damn Game Night II.

July 19 -- Day My Brother Wrecked My 1978 Caprice.

July 28 -- Fireworks Night.

July 29 -- Sean Casey Bobblehead Night.

July 30 -- Kids Jolly Roger Bobblehead Day.

Aug. 1 -- Ladies Back Out of Potentially Ominous Blind Date Scenarios Night.

Aug. 2 -- Laser Hair Removal Night.

Aug. 3 -- Seniors and Business Day of the Dolphin.

Aug. 11 -- Satchel Paige Bobblehead Night.

Aug. 12 --Homestead Grays Cap Night.

Aug. 13 --Potato Pete Angioplasty Day.

Aug. 14 -- Scratch My Back With A Hacksaw Night.

Aug. 15 -- A Dark and Stormy Night Night.

Aug. 16 -- Still Another Seniors and Business Day.

Aug. 24 -- Skyblast.

Aug. 25 -- Skyblast Reloaded.

Aug. 26 -- Skyblast Third Strike.

Aug. 27 -- Skyblast Ejected for Arguing Called Third Strike Day.

Aug. 28 -- Scratch n' Win Two Tickets To Steelers Opener Now Just 10 Days Away Night.

Aug. 29 -- Pet Cemetery Night.

Aug. 30 -- Business and Seniors Day.

Sept. 11 -- Loan Sharks Get In Free Night.

Sept. 12 -- Ladies of the Night Night Out Night.

Sept. 13 -- Glove Night (there it is).

Sept. 15 -- Camo-Orange Hunting Cap Night.

Sept. 16 -- Jack Wilson Bobblehead Night.

Sept. 17 -- Camo-Orange Vice Presidential Three-Piece Suit Day.

Sept. 26 -- Snowmobile Giveaway Night (seriously).

Sept. 27 -- Snowmobile Repo Night.

Sept. 28 -- Emergency Abdominal Surgery Night.

Sept. 29 -- Fireworks Night.

Sept. 30 -- Night They Raided Minsky's.

Oct. 1 -- Pirates One-of-a-Kind Harley Davidson Giveaway and Ben Roethlisberger Motorcycle Safety Course Day.