Super Monday

Martha Rial, Post-Gazette Calvin Baldridge of Oakland cheers a Steelers touchdown in the Super Bowl at Chief's Cafe in Oakland. Click photo for larger image.

Some people wonder about yesterday's two-hour delay for schools. It raised a question with us, too: Why only two hours? And why only school kids? Shouldn't Super Monday be a holiday? If not a national holiday, a holiday in the two competing cities and the host city, if indeed anybody is still employed in Detroit? It's not just recovery time that is needed. Here's the problem in its starkest terms: We are unfairly being forced to return to the Terrible Normalcy, and that unfortunately will include those of us at the Post-Gazette, after an extended leave from reality.

Oh, yes, the parade and a whole new line of Steelers laundry to buy will sustain us a bit further, but watch out over the next few days for Post-Super Bowl Depression. No more LIVE TV shots from Laverne's Naugahyde Lounge, with fans reported to "really have that Steelers spirit." No more anchors turning to the field reporters who can't hear a thing and saying, "Ask the fans who's going to win the game," and, incredibly, the fans going bananas and shouting, "Steelers! Woo-woo-wooo!" With the occasions for collective Steelermania dwindling, we must fall back on the endless variety of psychiatric disorders that make each of us unique. Frightening? Tell me about it.

One for the left ventricle

Here's one way to deal with Post-Super Bowl Depression. Take action. Here's a suggestion from Chris Zurawsky of Squirrel Hill: a reader contest for a slogan to replace "One for the Thumb." Wrote Chris: "Nicholas, my 10-year-old, coined 'Another Five for the Other Hand.' I've refined it to, 'Another Band for the Other Hand.' " Let's get on this right away, folks.

Game summary

Contributor to Deadspin.com, irreverent sports Web site: "To sum up: 1) Horrible game 2) Grotesque officiating 3) Tomorrow, people all over Seattle will be moping around, gazing at their shoes and miserable. In other words, it will be like any other day in Seattle."

We didn't find it horrible

Deadspin's A.J. Daulerio: "The Pittsburgh Steelers, on the backs of their 40 million fans in Detroit this weekend, won that boring-*** Super Bowl. . . It was a very collegial attitude, even when brave Seahawks fans would attempt to break into Steelers pep rallies -- which were seemingly everywhere. If Seahawks fans taunted them, they were greeted with gentle shoulder taps or guffaws. 'Oh, that's cute!' was the overriding attitude of Steelers fans faced with Seattle trash-talk. And Seattle fans knew this was unfamiliar territory for them. It's hard to taunt somebody while you're wearing pacific blue as your primary color."

Super Bowl XL timeline

From blog spaces.msn.com/reidaboutit:

March 23, 1867: Super Bowl XL halftime performer Keith Richards is born.

Jan. 22, 2006: Pittsburgh and Seattle win their Championship Games, earning a trip to Super Bowl XL in Detroit.

Jan. 23: Ford announces the layoff of 25,000 employees in honor of the big event.

Jan. 30: Detroit is named America's "Poorest Big City." The Detroit Chamber of Commerce commits hari kari.

Feb. 5, 6:05 p.m.: We are welcomed to Super Bowl XL by all previous MVPs, Harrison Ford and Dr. Seuss.

6:08: McDonald's has a commercial where a giant hamster is talking to Ronald McDonald. I didn't get the exact point of the ad, but I feel a strange craving for a McRib.

6:18: The National Anthem features Aretha Franklin wearing a coat that looks like she's had a sled dog team put to death.

6:27: The kickoff.

6:36: In a marketing tie-in, Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck completes a 15-yard pass to the Burger King.

8:06: The Rolling Stones perform. At the sight of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, Stones fans start throwing support hose and Depends undergarments on stage.

10:02: Pittsburgh wins its fifth Super Bowl. Jerome Bettis announces his retirement, and thousands of Detroit fans make plans to drive to Pittsburgh for the victory parade, since they no longer have jobs to worry about missing.

Dutch treat

The PG's Rebekah Scott, displaying a lack of faith or foresight, was on vacation in Rotterdam on Super Sunday and, after some panic, found that the authentically Dutch O'Shea's Irish Pub would be beaming the Super Bowl. There was one other genuine Steelers fan on hand -- a computer engineer from Heidelberg, Pa., named Tim Tournay, Rekekah reports. Tim took a train in from his home in The Hague, Terrible Towel at the ready. Tim told Rebekah, and we hope his loved ones aren't listening: "I don't miss North America. I don't miss my girlfriend or my parents. But this? This I miss. Steelers football."