A guy I'd been trying to avoid for, oh, five weeks now finally pinned me down. That's what you get for showing up at work and answering the phone.

He, like so many others, was able to track me easily because the Post-Gazette, since 2002, has been publishing reporters' phone numbers and e-mail addresses at the end of each story, a readership-task-force-inspired innovation that seemed like a swell idea at the time, but three years later forces me to come up with ever more inventive excuses for getting off the horn. ("I have an appendectomy scheduled for, uh, 10:21. Gotta go.")

He says he's a researcher from Hawaii, and he has some ideas that will knock my socks off. Something about aerodynamics, twisted toroidal structures (they look like donuts) and numerological sequences. Combine it all, he says, and you have an absolute proof for the existence of an intelligent designer.

		PostScript is a regular column by Post-Gazette staff members examining an aspect of newspaper practice. Bill Toland is a Post-Gazette staff writer (btoland@post-gazette.com, 412-263-1889).

Yes, that intelligent designer, the one on trial in Harrisburg, where a federal court is hearing arguments against -- and in favor of -- teaching the concept of intelligent design in high school biology class. I covered the trial for a week in September, and I'm still getting mail and calls.

Quick refresher course: Dover Area School District voted to tell its biology students that Darwin's theory of evolution has gaps, and that intelligent design, which says biology presents evidence of a master creator, is an alternative to Darwin. The school board also suggests students read "Of Pandas and People," a beginner's manual for intelligent design. Parents sued the district, saying the introduction of intelligent design in a science class was tantamount to teaching religion, since the unnamed designer is God.

Eventually, the judge will settle this case, but he will not -- cannot -- settle the argument. A century from now, I suspect, evolution, creationism and public education will still be entangled, forever litigation fodder, mainly because there is no single piece of evidence buttressing evolution that will convince all of God's flock that animals evolved from lesser species. Likewise, few supporters of evolution will ever be convinced to abandon biology and anthropology in favor of a literal reading of the Old Testament.

It's the irresistible scientific force vs. the immovable religious object. Get back to me if you think of a way to solve that pickle in a 15-inch news story.

On this topic, more than any I've ever written about, everybody's an instant expert. I wish I could tell you how many e-mails I've received from people who suddenly have become doctorate-level authorities on the Second Law of Thermodynamics, or the Protestant Reformation, or molecular biology, or First Amendment case history, or the mathematical probability of an automobile assembling itself without a human designer (hint: odds are bad). A sampler platter:

"The media, including the Post-Gazette, has no desire to present both sides of this issue from a scientific viewpoint. Your articles [love] to portray anyone who is in favor of intelligent design as Bible-thumping Christians who can't accept the so-called scientific fact regarding evolution."

"There is proof beyond reasonable doubt that intelligent design has never existed ... the current [Dover] school board!"

"Just as it would be irrational to examine a new car and conclude that, given enough time, chance alone could produce it, it is even more irrational to draw that conclusion about the origin of a living cell, which is more organized than a car."

"I am an atheist, and I want to say that you don't have to be a Christian to be moral, just look around -- there are plenty of immoral Christians in the world doing bad things in God's name every day. Of course, on Sunday, when those misbehaving Christians go to church, they are forgiven for their cruelties, misgivings and poor decisions."

These come from the casual readers, whose correspondence arrives in your e-mail box and answering machine first. Next come the generic offers from science groups, lawyers, Bible scholars and college professors, all of whom want to be quoted in your upcoming story.

Some group called the Metanexus Institute, for example, volunteered its answer to the problem: Everybody's wrong. ("In the midst of the black and white debate regarding evolution and intelligent design, an alternative perspective has surfaced ... neither side of this debate is correct.") Right, that ought to finally clear things up.

Last come the mad scientists. They've figured everything out, and they're offering me the big scoop. The researcher from Hawaii seems like a brilliant guy, but I can't understand a syllable that comes out of his mouth. A guy from Melbourne, Australia, wrote to me the other day to say "existence, being granular, is inherently comparative and survival of higher Life in any Universe is determined by evaluations emanating from its evolved capacity to perform conceptual comparisons." Got it?

Better still is the anonymous package I received last week, from someone who has also solved the whole science-vs.-religion conundrum, though, remarkably, it has nothing to do with toroidal patterns. It has to do with the anti-gravity isometric engine, which offers great promise not just in figuring out God's role in the universe, but also intergalactic space travel.

Envision, he asks of me, "navigating the cosmos at unimagined speeds, possibly allowing one to have an early breakfast on Earth and lunch on Mars." I have to confess, this possibility sounds quite lovely, especially the part about lunch, until I discover there is work involved.

He wants me to: "1) Seat a panel of three members from each of the scientific and religious communities, 2) include yourself as moderator, 3) include my agents and 4) myself. 5) In a sequestered conference, restricted to those invited, who should be willing to participate for as long as it takes, possibly for several days ..."

Several days? Sorry, you lost me right there. The only thing I can do for several days in a row is watch college football.

Finally, he concludes: "You will find no connection to me in these letters ... if you choose to organize the conference, you can reach me by conspicuously printing the word 'ready' following the end of your next [story in the] Post-Gazette. I read it every day and will get back to you."

Well, if you must, I'm ready.