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PrintViewers will be able to avoid an onslaught of "Desperate Housewives" clones this fall, but a bunch of "Lost" rip-offs is no better. Worse yet, most of these shows are uninvolving and uninteresting, which also sums up the fall 2005 TV season.
 Thumbs up, thumbs down After a number of years of lousy sitcoms, at least this year there are more worthwhile new comedies than dramas. But few of the pilots of any genre made a positive impression. Most fell in the ho-hum middle ground. A few notable exceptions didn't quite make the "best" list, but they may in time. UPN's "Sex, Love and Secrets" is a juicy soap and CBS's well-made procedural dramas "Close to Home" and "Criminal Minds" should easily appeal to "CSI" fans. "Everybody Hates Chris" (UPN) "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS) "My Name Is Earl" (NBC) "The Ghost Whisperer" (CBS) "Hot Properties" (ABC) "Out of Practice" (CBS) -- Rob Owen, Post-Gazette TV editor |
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Instead, viewers will get four series starring former Pittsburghers, three series with voice-over narration, two featuring saucy Latinos and a half-dozen dramas in which heinous crimes are perpetrated against women.
Enjoy?
"The War at Home" (8:30 p.m., Fox): This one would be revolutionary -- if the year was 1980. Michael Rapaport ("Boston Public") plays a frustrated dad who blames Mary Tyler Moore for his wife's decision to work outside the home. He also thinks one son might be gay and has a rule about boys who date his 16-year-old daughter: "If she sees your penis? I'll cut it off." Occasionally funny, each character addresses the camera at some point in this show that won't fit the "family sitcom" mold in the minds of many parents. (Today)
"Surface" (8 p.m., NBC): The first of three series featuring underwater aliens; in this one they're found around the globe a la "The 4400." Lake Bell (late of "Boston Legal") plays a marine biologist, one of several people worldwide to discover alien sea creatures at the exact same time. Less creepy than cheesy, the slime-spewing creatures rarely show themselves. (Sept. 19)
"How I Met Your Mother" (8:30 p.m., CBS): A funny, solidly-built romantic comedy, "Mother" chronicles the relationships among a group of New York friends. Ted (Josh Radnor) narrates in the year 2030, recounting his 2005 courtship with his wife and that of his friends, newly-engaged Marshall (Jason Segel) and Lily (Alyson Hannigan). Neil Patrick Harris ("Doogie Howser, MD") has an excellent supporting role as Ted's suit-obsessed buddy, Barney. There's adult humor that might bother some viewers, but the show is mostly just a fun half-hour. (Sept. 19)
"Kitchen Confidential" (8:30 p.m., Fox): New York chef Jack Bourdain (Bradley Cooper) has a history of booze, drugs and womanizing, but he's trying to get himself back on track, landing a job at an upscale restaurant and hiring a staff of misfits played by actors John Cho ("Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle"), Nicholas Brendon ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer") and John Frances Daley ("Freaks and Geeks"). This single-camera comedy is a better match with "Arrested Development" than anything else Fox has paired with it previously, but future episodes need to be funnier than the hit-and-miss humor in the pilot. (Sept. 19)
"Just Legal" (9 p.m., The WB): Don Johnson plays a washed-up lawyer who takes on a wet-behind-the-ears law school grad (Jay Baruchel, "Undeclared") in this cute but pedestrian legal drama that makes no logical sense airing after "7th Heaven" let alone on The WB anywhere. It's a CBS show through and through. (Sept. 19)
"Prison Break" (9 p.m., Fox): A structural engineer (former Pittsburgher Wentworth Miller) gets himself arrested and imprisoned with his wrongly-convicted brother (Dominic Purcell) in order to break them both out. Seems like there should be an easier way, but that would blow the premise for this high-stakes thriller. (Already premiered)
"Out of Practice" (9:30 p.m., CBS): CBS flopped with "The Stones," but the network seems determined to get a comedy about grown children with divorced parents on the air. Ben (Christopher Gorham) is the stable center of the clan, all of them working in medicine of some sort. Ben's smothered by his mother (Stockard Channing) and endures his father (Henry Winkler), brother (Ty Burrell) and lesbian sister (Paula Marshall). Misunderstandings of the "Three's Company" variety ensue, and they're no fresher now than they were 25 years ago. (Sept. 19)
"Bones" (8 p.m., Fox): Anthropologist/author Temprance "Bones" Brennan (Emily Deschanel) works for a historical/scientific foundation, but her boss (Wilkinsburg native Jonathan Adams) loans her out to the FBI to win points with politicians. Her FBI contact, special agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz, "Angel"), is also her foil in this low-key, often jokey crime drama that would be better with fewer weak gimmicks (a woman flashes an airline gate agent for attention). (Tuesday)
"Commander In Chief" (9 p.m., ABC): The politics of this White House-set series are preposterous and unbelievable, but the drama at its heart is rock solid. Geena Davis owns the role of an Independent vice president who finds herself conflicted when the Republican president becomes incapacitated. Rather than having her assume his duties, he asks her to step aside. She struggles with that request, and how viewers react to her decision will likely break along party lines. But this drama from Rod Lurie ("Line of Fire") is packed with smart writing and terrific performances by Davis and Kyle Secor as Davis' husband, who finds himself thrust into his own historically unprecedented situation. (Sept. 27)
"My Name Is Earl" (9 p.m., NBC): A homophobic, chain-smoking thief, Earl (Jason Lee) changes his ways after being hit by a car and learning about karma from watching Carson Daly's talk show. Really. Earl makes a list of reparations and sets about making right with people because he believes what goes around comes around. "Earl" is not your run-of-the-mill sitcom, but the dark humor won't appeal to all viewers. (Sept. 20)
"Sex, Love and Secrets" (9 p.m., UPN): This is a twentysomething soap about a group of friends in Los Angeles who sleep around, fall in love, etc. In the pilot alone, pierced player Charlie (Eric Balfour) sleeps with a woman who's dating the keyboardist in a band fronted by Hank (James Stevenson), who's about to pop the question to Rose (Laura German), who may or may not have a stalker. Then there's the man-eating publicist Jolene (Denise Richards), the show's Heather Locklear-esque troublemaker who advises Rose to "floss the plaque of your karma another day." It's an engrossing guilty pleasure. (Sept. 27)
"Supernatural" (9 p.m., The WB): Brothers Sam (Jared Padalecki, "Gilmore Girls") and Dean (Jensen Ackles, "Smallville") have been hunting ghosties since their mother died mysteriously 20 years earlier. Actually, Dean is a smart-aleck ghostbuster while responsible Sam is law school bound and reluctantly returns to the family trade to help search for their father, who's gone missing. Jokey "X-Files" references augment the brotherly bond in this creepy but not particularly inventive dark drama pilot, though it does get bonus points for a shocker ending. (Tuesday)
"Close to Home" (10 p.m., CBS): A new mom (Jennifer Finnigan, "Committed") returns to work as an Indianapolis prosecuting attorney. She resents her new boss (Kimberly Elise) and is accused of allowing her hormones to influence her decisions. Her first case is a doozy: a mom who sets fire to her home with her children inside. But the case turns out not to be what it seems at first glance. It's another crime drama, but one that's well-made. And Finnigan is an empathetic, believable lead. (Oct. 4)
"The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" (8 p.m., NBC): It's a second edition of reality show "The Apprentice," this time hosted by Martha Stewart. Not previewed. (Sept. 21)
"Freddie" (8:30 p.m., ABC): His brother died and Chicago chef Freddie (Freddie Prinze Jr.) lives in an apartment full of women, including his grandmother, widowed sister-in-law, older sister and her daughter. The result is a totally pedestrian, bland sitcom. Grandma (Jenny Gago) speaks only Spanish -- an effort to try to make the show distinctive -- but that's like putting a rear spoiler on a Honda Accord: It's still just a sedan. (Oct. 5)
"Criminal Minds" (9 p.m., CBS): Mandy Patinkin stars as an FBI profiler who teaches at Quantico while on medical leave, but he gets pulled into the field again when women start disappearing in Seattle and later turn up dead. Patinkin's always a fascinating actor to watch and (thankfully) this doesn't seem like a show where he'll be able to sing (instead he annoyingly spouts quotes). Solidly plotted and filmed, the pilot has a nice bookended structure that delivers a surprising, unexpected conclusion. (Previews 10 p.m. Sept. 22; time slot premiere Sept. 28)
"E-Ring" (9 p.m., NBC): A gung-ho Benjamin Bratt runs through Pentagon hallways looking less uptight than his compatriots as he smirks his way through a crisis. This Jerry Bruckheimer ("CSI") executive produced-drama purports to show "classic sausage-making bureaucracy," but it's terribly overbaked as characters posture, pose, spout acronyms "JAG"-style and act tough. "E-Ring" could be worthwhile, but it needs to take it down a notch. (Sept. 21)
"Head Cases" (9 p.m., Fox): It's the odd couple of lawyers as starched shirt Jason Payne (Chris O'Donnell) is teamed with jittery, low-rent Russell Schultz (Adam Goldberg) after each one has a mental breakdown. Jason loses his wife and career on the same day and suffers from panic attacks; Schultz has an explosive disorder. They're paired by their mutual therapist to support one another and end up going into business together. It's sorta funny, not very dramatic and not all that interesting. (Wednesday)
"Related" (9 p.m., The WB): Four sisters (played by Jennifer Esposito, Kiele Sanchez, Lizzy Caplan and Laura Brackenridge) muddle through life together in Manhattan in this dramedy executive produced by Marta Kauffman ("Friends"). Not previewed. (Oct. 5)
"Invasion" (10 p.m., ABC): Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the swamp ? orange ball-of-light aliens lurk beneath the deep! A park ranger (Eddie Cibrian) and his loafing brother (Tyler Labine) uncover the truth after the ranger's worrywart ex-wife disappears in a hurricane and returns a little too serene. Her new husband, the creepy town sheriff (William Fichtner), appears to know something about what's happening, but what? Probably the best of three sci-fi pilots, but that's not saying much. (Sept. 21)
"Everybody Hates Chris" (8 p.m., UPN): Perhaps the best comedy of the fall, comedian Chris Rock narrates this story of his life growing up as a 13-year-old (Tyler James Williams) in Brooklyn in the early 1980s. His mama (Tichina Arnold) rules the roost, bossing around his father (Terry Crews) and threatening the kids: "I'm gonna put my foot so far up your behind you'll have toes for teeth." She's tough, but necessarily so in order to raise her kids right. It's funny in a "Wonder Years" sort of way, with any sweetness tempered by Rock's more modern narration: "Much like rock 'n' roll, school shootings were invented by blacks and stolen by the white man." Hate Chris? No way. (Sept. 22)
"Night Stalker" (9 p.m., ABC): A remake of the '70s cult series about a newspaper crime reporter who investigates paranormal occurrences (it was an inspiration for "The X-Files"), Carl Kolchak (Stuart Townsend) works for the Los Angeles Beacon. He vies with reporter Perry Reeves (Gabrielle Union) for stories and works alongside a Jimmy Olsen-type photographer (Eric Jungmann). The pilot is creepy and scary as Kolchak tracks devil dogs, and there's also a Kolchak back story: He's suspected of killing his wife in Las Vegas, claiming she was attacked by a beast in the desert. "Night Stalker" is atmospheric, but the casting seems off and the serialized story is not that original. (Sept. 29)
"Reunion" (9 p.m., Fox): A time-hopping story of six friends, this drama begins in 2005 at the funeral of one of the friends then jumps back to 1986 when they all graduated from high school as every memorable '80s song ever recorded plays in the background. Each episode will fill in a year between then and now, following the travails of these friends. Intriguing concept on the surface, but at heart it's a not-so-special twentysomething drama. (Already premiered)
"Love, Inc." (9:30 p.m., UPN): The original pilot for this sitcom starred Shannen Doherty as a "professional wingwoman" who helps men meet women, but producers didn't love Doherty who was dropped and replaced by Busy Philipps. While they're at it, they should fire the sound mixer; the laugh track is far too enthusiastic for the lame attempts at comedy on display here. (Sept. 22)
"Ghost Whisperer" (8 p.m., CBS): Jennifer Love Hewitt sees, hears and carries on conversations with dead people in this sappy, inferior "Medium" imitator. Pittsburgh native David Conrad plays her paramedic husband and 1990 Quaker Valley High grad Wentworth Miller (star of "Prison Break") has a guest spot in the "Ghost" premiere. That will only add insult to injury for fans of the canceled "Joan of Arcadia," which "Ghost" replaces (on "Joan," Miller played Satan in the final two episodes). (Sept. 23)
"Twins" (8:30 p.m., The WB): Smart, sarcastic Mitchee (Sara Gilbert) and her superficial twin sister Farrah (Molly Stanton) work in the family business, an underwear manufacturing company whose latest product is called the "butt pucker," while trying to keep their smart dad (Mark Linn-Baker, "Perfect Strangers") and dumb mom (Melanie Griffith in a role tailor-made for her breathy vacuousness) from divorcing. Lots of jokes about the smart and the stupid ensue, but this comedy from the creators of "Will & Grace" is actually pretty funny -- funnier than any sitcom currently on The WB. (Friday)
"Killer Instinct" (9 p.m., Fox): Detective Hale (Johnny Messner, "The O.C.") works in the San Francisco Police Department's deviant crime unit, where he investigates unsettling cases. He's coming off a bad patch -- his girlfriend cop was killed in the line of duty -- and his boss (Chi McBride, "Boston Public") doesn't trust that he's really recovered. "Killer Instinct" is just another procedural drama where the crimes have a kinky twist. (Sept. 23)
"Three Wishes" (9 p.m., NBC): An "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" knock-off, Amy Grant hosts this series that rolls into a new town every week to grant wishes. Not previewed. (Sept. 23)
"Threshold" (9 p.m., CBS): Aliens attempt to make mankind capable of receiving their downloads in this lighter-hearted invasion drama. Carla Gugino leads a team of researchers, which includes Brent Spiner ("Star Trek: The Next Generation") and Peter Dinklage. "Threshold" has some humor reminiscent of "NCIS," but the human drama is underwhelming. (Sept. 23)
"Hot Properties" (9:30 p.m., ABC): A trio of real estate agents run into trouble when they discover their virginal client (Christina Moore) is marrying a man two of the three slept with. There's the neurotic one (Nicole Sullivan), the aging diva (Gail O'Grady) and the pampered Hispanic divorcee (Sofia Vergara). They talk about sex constantly, make jokes about "wood," breast enhancement and gaydar. "Excuse me, I'm not slutty, but easy," Sullivan's character says. "It's subtle, but there's a difference." Though purportedly a sitcom, this is really more of a slutcom. It's subtle, but there's a difference. (Oct. 7)
"Inconceivable" (10 p.m., NBC): Former Pittsburgher Ming-Na, late of "ER," returns to the medical field to star in this mostly wan fertility clinic drama. She's paired with Jonathan Cake ("Empire") as a reptilian, narcissistic doc who puts up a good, cool front. In the pilot, the staff investigates an African-American baby who comes from a white couple. There are a few intriguing character tidbits, and Alfre Woodard plays an integral role, but she'll leave after a few episodes for "Desperate Housewives." Seems inconceivable, but it's true. (Sept. 23)
Returning Series Want to know when you can see new episodes of your favorite shows? Here's a list of returning prime-time series and their premiere dates:
"According to Jim" -- Sept. 20.
"Alias" -- Sept. 29.
"All of Us" -- Sept. 19.
"The Amazing Race" -- Sept. 27.
"American Dad" -- Today.
"America's Funniest Home Videos" -- Oct. 2.
"America's Most Wanted" -- Already premiered.
"America's Next Top Model" -- Sept. 21.
"The Apprentice" -- Sept. 22.
"Arrested Development" -- Sept. 19.
"The Bachelor" -- Midseason.
"The Bernie Mac Show" -- Sept. 23.
"The Biggest Loser" -- Tuesday.
"Boston Legal" -- Sept. 27.
"Blue Collar TV" -- Sept. 25.
"Charmed" -- Sept. 25.
"Cold Case" -- Sept. 25.
"Cops" -- Already premiered.
"Crossing Jordan" -- Sept. 25.
"CSI" -- Sept. 22.
"CSI: Miami" -- Sept. 19.
"CSI: NY" -- Sept. 21.
"Cuts" -- Sept. 22.
"Dateline" -- Sept. 23.
"Desperate Housewives" -- Sept. 25.
"ER" -- Sept. 22.
"Eve" -- Sept. 23.
"Everwood" -- Sept. 29.
"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" -- Sept. 25.
"Family Guy" -- Today.
"Fear Factor" -- Midseason.
"48 Hours Mystery" -- Sept. 24.
"Friday Night Smackdown!" -- Already premiered.
"George Lopez" -- Sept. 28.
"Gilmore Girls" -- Tuesday.
"Girlfriends" -- Sept. 19.
"Grey's Anatomy" -- Sept. 25.
"Half & Half" -- Sept. 19.
"Hope & Faith" -- Sept. 23.
"House" -- Tuesday.
"Jake in Progress" -- Midseason.
"Joey" -- Sept. 22.
"The King of Queens" -- Sept. 19.
"King of the Hill" -- Sept. 18.
"Las Vegas" -- Sept. 19.
"Law & Order" -- Sept. 21.
"Law & Order: Criminal Intent" -- Sept. 25.
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" -- Sept. 20.
"Less Than Perfect" -- Midseason.
"Living with Fran" -- Friday.
"Lost" -- Sept. 21.
"Malcolm in the Middle" -- Sept. 30.
"Medium" -- Sept. 19.
"Monday Night Football" -- Already premiered.
"NCIS" -- Sept. 20.
"The O.C." -- Already premiered.
"The Office" -- Sept. 20.
"One on One" -- Sept. 19.
"One Tree Hill" -- Oct. 5.
"Primetime Live" -- Thursday.
"Reba" -- Friday.
"Rodney" -- Oct. 4.
"Scrubs" -- Midseason.
"7th Heaven" -- Sept. 19.
"The Simpsons" -- Today.
"60 Minutes" -- Sept. 25.
"Smallville" -- Sept. 29.
"Still Standing" -- Sept. 21.
"Stacked" -- Nov. 9.
"Survivor" -- Thursday.
"That '70s Show" -- Nov. 2.
"20/20" -- Already premiered.
"24" -- Jan. 8.
"Two and a Half Men" -- Sept. 19.
"Veronica Mars" -- Sept. 28.
"Yes, Dear" -- Sept. 21.
"The West Wing" -- Sept. 25.
"What I Like About You" -- Friday.
"Wife Swap" -- Monday.
"Will & Grace" -- Sept. 29.
"Without a Trace" -- Sept. 29.
