The idea to resurrect '70s staple "Battle of the Network Stars" has been bandied about by nostalgic TV fans for years, but in a 500-channel universe and with competitive pressures among ABC, CBS and NBC so high, it was never going to happen the way it once did, with big-name stars forming network teams and competing in physical challenges.
On the original show, the competitors were actors, and, for the most part, legitimate TV stars. In this reality edition, unless you're a reality show junkie who watches every series out there (and heaven help you, if you are), the chances of any viewer recognizing most of the cast is slim.
Another unique feature about the original was that viewers got to see the likes of Lynda Carter ("Wonder Woman"), Gabe Kaplan ("Welcome Back Kotter") and William Shatner ("T.J. Hooker") in unscripted competitions, not their normal venue. But in "Battle of the Network Reality Stars," we're seeing players compete in what are often tamer athletic pursuits than the challenges on the reality shows that gained them notoriety in the first place.
Furthermore, the humiliation of getting wet in a dunk tank pales in comparison to, say, being duped on national TV, making a fool of yourself while sloshed or being fired by Donald Trump.
To top it off, the teams aren't allied to any network as they were in the original. That's understandable given the current network environment, but it still diminishes the competition. (And it should go without saying that host Mike Adamle is no Howard Cosell.)
Mt. Lebanon's Matt Kennedy Gould ("The Joe Schmo Show") is among the contestants on tomorrow night's 90-minute premiere, which will be followed by five one-hour episodes. Before trying to dunk muscular Mike "The Miz" Mizanin ("Real World 10: Back to New York"), Gould removes his shirt, declaring, "For all my big belly brothers out there, I have to take mine off and hopefully woo the women in the crowd with what I've got going on, my 12-pack."
Competitors from four teams take part in three challenges tomorrow night, including an obstacle course and jousting. At the end of the episode, the winning team is safe, but the three other teams must vote off one member each. And then, in typical reality show fashion, there's a twist.
Some of the better-known competitors in "Battle of the Network Reality Stars" include familiar faces from "Survivor" (Richard Hatch, Susan Hawk), "Big Brother" (Will Kirby), "The Amazing Race" (Charla Faddoul) and more anonymous types from "The Swan," "Temptation Island" and, I kid you not, "Showbiz Moms and Dads." (Alas, no "Amish in the City" stars compete.)
Filmed on the athletic fields of Pepperdine University, also home to the show in the '70s and '80s, "Battle of the Network Reality Stars" promises each member of the winning team $10,000. According to the book "What Were They Thinking? The 100 Dumbest Events in Television History," that was the same amount members of the losing team got for participating in the 18th "Battle of the Network Stars" in 1985. With inflation, that payday may seem unfair, but given the diminished stature of reality show stars compared to actors, it actually seems like justice.