Schedule your worrying

	Stacy Innerst Post-Gazette Click photo for larger image.

Are you a worry wart? Do you fret that you're stuck in your job? Worry about where your relationship is heading, that is, if you have a relationship to head anywhere? Regret your dumb choices in life? Wonder if that pension will really be there? The Morning File has some practical advice, and, for that, we go LIVE to the Global Ideas Bank, globalideasbank.org., where everyday people take a crack at solving society's knotty problems online. Here's Loqi from Berkeley, Calif.:

"The next time you catch your mind racing about some fear, uncertainty or dread, jot down a note to think about it later. Then, you can allow yourself a reasonable amount of time to think about your troubles until you feel satisfied. You may want to schedule worry time, perhaps while shampooing your hair or waiting for the bus. Or perhaps you can pair up with a trusted worry partner and create a ritual where you listen to each other's concerns, with or without offering advice, and only in a designated setting so you can keep the worry time from creeping into your greater relationship. This way, you can get all your healthy worrying done, while limiting negativity to a constructive context, where it can bring more good than harm to your life."

Online response from Mudpuppy: "I was worrying about whether it was a good idea to respond to this idea. Ah, to heck with it. I'll respond and worry about it Friday at 12 p.m."

'What, me worry?'

Those were the immortal words of Alfred E. Neuman, the star of Mad magazine, who never needed any worry time. Born in the 1950s, "What, me worry?" was the antidote to the threat of nuclear annihilation that had school children diving under their desks, where you could count on being safe from the bomb. Some of Alfred E. Neuman's wisdom:

"The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!"

"Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!"

"How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?"

"It takes one to know one -- and vice versa!"

"Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!"

"Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!"

"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!"

Mad history highlights

From the Mad Web site:

June 1978: Indiana intern and proofreader J. Danforth Quayle is fired when MAD #198 contains more than 150 typographical errors, including seven different spellings of the word "a." An angry Quayle leaves, vowing that he will find a job where people don't notice his spelling.

October 1993: To settle the ongoing debate, MAD holds the definitive Alfred E. Neuman look-alike contest between Prince Charles, Ted Koppel and David Letterman. Letterman finishes a distant third and Koppel is runner-up. Prince Charles finishes first with 38.2 percent of the vote.

Alfred E. in the news

Last month, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton compared President Bush to the "What, me worry?" kid, which, contrary to all we've been trying to say, was not a compliment, since many see Alfred E. as a grinning moron.

The Ohio State Cartoon Research Library is hosting through Sept. 2, "Humor in a Jugular Vein," an exhibition of artwork and memorabilia from Mad magazine, some dating back to its inception in 1952.

Great non-worriers

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.' " Jack Handey ("Saturday Night Life" New Age sage)

"Look, sometimes bad things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it, so why worry?" Simba, The Lion King

"Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you." Shrek 2

"Just do the right thing; don't worry about the future." Chinese proverb

Do that crossword

Then there are those who are worried they're losing it. And we're not talking only about oldsters. Or the Pennsylvania Legislature and their pay raise, for that matter. We're talking about you. For example, have you ever moved purposefully from one room to another only to ask yourself the embarrassing question: "Now, what was it I came in here for?" Pay attention here. Take notes, if you have to. If you stay mentally active, you're less likely to suffer senility. And "Wheel of Fortune" does not qualify as mentally active. A handful of studies have found that mental exercises can boost brain function, The Washington Post reported yesterday. Researchers are finding that challenging activities, such as taking quilting classes, acting classes or volunteering as tutors and librarians help keep assisted-living at bay.

Mistake worries

A couple of weeks ago, The Morning File, in thoughtlessly disparaging Hummers and other SUVs, said their owners got tax breaks. We were wrong, mostly. Hummer owners can qualify for a tax credit of up to $100,000 for vehicles weighing more than 6,000 pounds -- the Hummer tips the scales at 8,600 pounds -- if it is used for business. Your run-of-the-mill SUV gets no tax break.

A Friday Morning File item stated that the World Adult Kickball Association claimed the Web name www.DCKickball.com before that league did and sent some people to a porn site. No, it did not. The sorry truth is, a friend of DCKickball's founder registered a profane web site with WAKA's name.

In Search of Angels

Soldiers have angels

Imagine yourself a soldier in Iraq. You are hot, it's 125 degrees, and the sweat is pouring down your face. You can hardly see because there's dust and sand in your eyes. You have not slept in a day, and the food tastes like paste.

The violence has doubled since you arrived, and your return is so far off you wonder if you will ever walk into your home, hold your children, wrap your arms around your wife or just feel safe.

The things you took for granted are now the most precious. You pray for another day -- to see another sunrise and spend one more moment with your loved ones. But after days like this, a smile comes to your face from something as simple as a letter. A letter from your angel.

There are many angels in our presence -- caring, unselfish and dedicated people whose mission is to make sure "No Soldier Goes Unloved." And you could become one of them, a member of "Soldier's Angels," a non-profit, all-volunteer organization that provides support to our brave men and women in the field and their loved ones at home.

"Soldier's Angels" has different teams, which send cards on holidays and special occasions or when a soldier needs a morale boost; encouraging letters to service members a few times a week; and e-mails to deployed and stateside soldiers.

Special angels visit the wounded, spend time with veterans, attend funerals of our heros in support of their families and sew Blankets of Hope for wounded soldiers. To learn more about Soldiers' Angels and adopt a soldier or make a donation, please visit our Web site www.soldiersangels.org.

-- Deborah Mattocks
Soldiers' Angels
Western Pennsylvania Regional Manager

He seems to like us

My family (wife, son and myself) just returned from four amazing days in your beautiful city. My mind is still spinning at what a great city we just visited. The friendly people, the beautiful scenery and the amazing attractions will stay in our memories for a lifetime, not to mention the amazing fireworks after the Pirates game.

But what stands out for me, though, is the people we met -- the woman working in the convenience store on Beechwood Boulevard (and her customer), the ambulance attendant who gave my son an American Flag on the Sixth Street Bridge, the scalper who sold us tickets for the game and "Shy," who works at McDonald's.

And especially the staff of the Springhill Marriott on the North Shore and the young gentleman who gave my son a baseball card of his favorite player, Milton Bradley of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

I can't forget all the beautiful people on the sunset cruise Thursday night and the guy sitting on the curb talking to us at the Kids FunFest before Sunday's ballgame as well as everyone we met at Kennywood and the religious man at the Eat 'N' Park.

All of you make Pittsburgh the greatest city I've ever traveled to. You have a lot to be proud of and it shows. So thank you, Pittsburgh, for giving me and my family a better vacation than we could ever have dreamed of.

-- Len Fleming
Windsor, Ontario, Canada