Be a dentist ... and a success

	James Hilston, Post-Gazette Click illustration for larger version.

There seems to be an assumption among Pittsburghers that we are, as a general rule, not so healthy. Be it the sandwiches laden with french fries, the fried fish on Fridays or the habit of embracing beer with sport, local traditions are leading us down a path of clogged arteries and early death. Today's Morning File is devoted to the never-ending pursuit of good health, dental hygiene and eternal life.

In a brilliant feat of journalistic excellence, Morning File has discovered that there is one aspect of health where Pennsylvanians aren't doing so badly -- dental hygiene. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, the state is sixth in the nation in dental hygiene: 75 percent of all Pennsylvanians had their teeth cleaned in 1999, the last year they checked.

Strangely, only 71 percent of people in the state had visited a dentist or dental clinic in the same year (shooting us down to No. 16 in that category), forcing Morning File to wonder where on earth survey respondents went to get their teeth zapped with gritty toothpaste and gums poked with sharp metal pointy things if not a dental clinic or dentist's office. The paranoid amongst us might suspect that a serial dentist lurks on our streets, cleaning teeth in the unlikeliest of places, avoiding all efforts at apprehension.

We regret to inform you

Women will probably never hear the end of it, so it is with a heavy heart that we bring you the latest study from across the Atlantic Ocean that shows that men are better at coping with pain than are women. Researchers from the University of Bath released a study last week saying that men employ problem-solving strategies to deal with pain, while women are more emotional and focus on how the pain is making them feel, rather than just dealing with it, taking an aspirin and moving on with their lives.

In one experiment in which participants plunged their arms into icy water, women had a lower threshold for pain. But when they were given 250 mg of caffeine (about the same as a double espresso), they were able to keep their arms in the bucket for much longer. For the record: The study shows that men cope with pain better than women do, not that they cope with pain better than they cope with women. Both might be proven true.

Speaking of icy water

Reports have been circulating in papers from England to Australia that scientists have created "eerie zombie dogs," bringing them back to life after hours of clinical death. Where can the crazed pet-lover (or is that repetitive) bring the cold body of beloved Fido to bring back to life? We're so glad you asked. Right here in Pittsburgh, where Pitt's Safar Center for Resuscitation Research recently announced that they've pioneered a technique to drain a subject's veins of blood, replacing it with an ice-cold salt solution. The blood is then circulated back into the body and the dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock. The experiment allowed experimenters to resuscitate dogs more than three hours after clinical death. There is much to say about the possibility of prolonging the life of the dog population, but we here at Morning File believe that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it.

The path to doggy heaven

There is no way to measure the number of dogs injured, maimed or executed by carelessly hanging their heads out of car windows, but a Mt. Lebanon lawmaker wants to stop the senseless killing. Rep. Tom Stevenson introduced a bill last month that would require drivers to keep their dogs' heads inside their vehicles at all times. The bill suggests "pet seat belts" for drivers who might have trouble keeping their animals sitting quietly in the back seat. We suggest the license plate game. The bill also says that many accidents are caused because of the distraction of pets hanging their heads out of windows, presumably by drivers turning around to say "awwwww," or alternatively, "ewwwww."

From the AP
• Man Buys Smoker, Finds Human Leg Inside • Coach Stops Runaway Horse by Biting Ear • Man Allegedly Tries to Use 'Blurry' $100 • Police Break Up Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese • Suggestive Card Ruffles Farmer's Feathers • Nerds to Auction Themselves to Women • Toilet to Tap? San Jose Probes Plan • Seattle to Allow Pygmy Goats As Pets • Yankees Rookies Dress Up in Oz Costumes

You snooze, you lose

Anyone who's ever had to share a bunk bed with a snorer knows that loud sleepers can cause restlessness and irritation the following day -- in the person who can't sleep because of the loud ZZZZs emanating from the top bunk. But researchers now say that children who snore are more likely to be hyperactive than those that don't. Scientists from the University of Michigan and the University of Washington evaluated 229 children and strengthened proof of a link between snoring and hyperactivity. For anyone who wants to silence their snoring child, or at least get them to sit still, researchers say that one long-term snoring cure is removal of tonsils and adenoids. In the long run, that's probably cheaper than Ritalin.

Put on your thinking caps

Maybe hyperactive children just need to concentrate harder. Israeli scientist and self-labeled futurist David Passig has just the fix. The researcher at Bar-Ilan University claims that his new Brain Helmet can help improve a person's IQ by at least 20 percent if it is worn 10 to 20 minutes a day for three months. Reports are patchy, but it seems that the helmet works by putting a visor over patients' eyes, thus allowing them to enter a virtual reality world and perform math problems. This helps blood flow between the left and right lobes of the brain. The media release claims that this helmet would be a great help for impaired children and " a savior for some of those in the work force." Morning File wonders what profession might be most in need of this IQ-increasing helmet. Politicians? Professional athletes? Editors? The possibilities are endless.

Don't mess with Texans

Best newspaper correction regarding high society in the Dallas Morning News on June 17, 2005: Norma Adams-Wade's June 15 column incorrectly called Mary Ann Thompson-Frenk a socialist. She is a socialite.