Dave Littlefield could be the Pirates' general manager for the next 25 years and never will make a worse trade.

The Aramis Ramirez deal is a steal by comparison.

Not because Ty Wigginton lugged a .204 batting average into the weekend and had the nerve to complain about his playing time. And certainly not because Kris Benson is tearing it up for the New York Mets. He takes a 3-2 record and 4.21 earned run average into his start against the San Francisco Giants tonight, numbers that, by the end of another underachieving season, figure to be in the 7-11, 5.16 range.

No, the trade was horrendous because it cost us Anna Benson.

It's true what they say, isn't it?

You really don't know what you have until it's gone.

We should have appreciated Anna more when she was here. We should have realized she was a different kind of sports wife who turned her husband into a different kind of sports figure when she got him to agree to an interview with Penthouse magazine about how they made tapes of their love-making so Kris wouldn't feel lonely during the long trips. It's still hard to believe the Pirates didn't assign extra security to Benson's baggage. Hadn't they heard about Pamela Anderson?

But Anna is so much more than an amateur video starlet. Since Littlefield dumped her husband on the Mets in July 2004, she has appeared on the cover of FHM, which they tell me is a men's magazine, and has been named "Baseball's Hottest Wife." And she has done the Howard Stern show, telling listeners of her fascination for sex with her husband in public places, including Three Rivers Stadium, PNC Park and the Pirates' spring-training complex in Bradenton, Fla.

Coming soon to a ballpark near you ...

Just this month, Anna is the subject of a feature story in the respectable New Yorker magazine. She also has ventured into journalism, writing a diary for the New York Post, informing her readers of, among other gems, how Kris was so excited about getting a single against the New York Yankees that he text-messaged her from the dugout.

What? You thought he was thinking about pitching to Jeter, A-Rod and Matsui?

Shame on us at the Post-Gazette for missing out on such a literary opportunity.

If all this is a desperate cry for attention by Anna, it seems to be working. A recent Google search on Kris and Anna Benson revealed more than 778,000 hits, including 80,600 when "public sex" was thrown into the mix. The guess here is it's only a matter of time until Anna is a famous model with a big-time acting career.

Really, what does Paris Hilton have that she doesn't?

The woman runs deep.

Here's guessing you didn't know Anna loves French bulldogs, her newest, Petunia, which she dresses in a Mets sweater. "Kris loves Petunia," she tells The New Yorker. "Kris wants Petunia to come with me to the game."

And did you know Benson looks up to Anna in her luxury box after every inning when he's pitching and gives her their private little signal by putting his forefinger into his right ear? Of course, Anna is in a luxury box. Where else would she be? She always goes first class and has the means to do it since Kris signed his $22.5 million contract. She has hired a personal chef for the family. She has separate drivers to take her and the kids to Shea Stadium. She wears expensive clothes and a Rolex watch, although, frankly, the watch isn't what it's cracked up to be. "It's got diamonds," Anna tells The New Yorker, "but as a watch it's crap, doesn't keep time."

There is one other reason Anna is segregated in that luxury box. She offends the other wives because, as she told the magazine, "I will talk [bleep]."

The lascivious sex talk is kept to a minimum in The New Yorker piece, although Anna reveals she and Kris met in 1998 when she was dancing at an Atlanta strip club. "You don't belong here," he told her. That, apparently, was the end of her dancing days. It's a shame he didn't get her out of the business sooner because, she says, she's still bothered by a toe problem that makes those 4-inch heels she likes to wear to Shea pure misery.

Truthfully, who among us doesn't feel her pain?

There was one thing in The New Yorker story I didn't understand. Anna calls herself "a harlot." I thought she was being a little hard on herself. I'd describe her as fascinating. And, no, that's not a lame attempt to get back on her good side after she called me names for writing that her husband was soft and gutless with the Pirates, even though I believe it was Lloyd McClendon who actually said it.

I feel so strongly about this I'm going to suggest to Littlefield that he inquire with the Mets about doing another Benson-for-Wigginton trade.

Anna Benson-for-Wigginton, straight up.

The Mets can keep Kris. Long after his career is finished and every dime of his millions has been spent, his wife or, maybe by then, his ex-wife will still be a big, big star.

Darn Littlefield for letting her get away in the first place.