Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette
	The winners wrote captions for this illustration. Think you can do better? Then click here to submit your best for Caption Contest II. Click illustration to see larger image.

The historic debut of Portfolio's Caption Contest was a violent eruption of a success, almost volcanic in nature. You people out there are funny if not downright odd, which is just the sort of person we're looking for.

Portfolio's crack Committee on Funny Captions had to make some agonizing decisions after sorting through dozens of high-quality entries. Our five winners will receive a copy of "Sports Town: A Look at the Famous Sports Pages of the Post-Gazette." We thank all who participated.

THE WINNERS:

1. Pitt's Semester at Sea program goes terribly awry.
Mark Crowley, Plum

2. Even after their tour of Manhattan Island, the 2025 Presidential Commission on Fossil Fuels called the Global Warming Theory a hoax.
Ed Prence, Ellwood City

3. "Survivor: Audience" -- a reality show for couch potatoes.
Jeffrey Sterling, Sharon

4. "George, was that you?"
Jim Davis, Mount Pleasant

5. US Airways' new economy class.
Paula Cerrone, Point Breeze

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The family was a caricature of its formal self, content to face the impending lava doom rather than another day with each other.
Dan Poljak, Whitehall

Visitors' Section--Heinz Field.
Leonard Spagnolo, Bethel Park

Each row, in turn, assumed that some person in the row behind it had committed a social gaffe. Only those in the rear row knew the truth but, being of a mischievous nature, refused to divulge it.
Paul Alter, Wilkinsburg

The Original Etna Bypass.
Don Souders, Strattanville

"Oh, shut up, Agatha ... the First Class raft was full."
Sandra Rebholz, Robinson

"All those auditioning for the new Lava soap ad, please have a seat. We'll be right with you."
Gary P. Topolosky, Munhall

"Myrtle, are you sure this is on the AARP tour?"
Gordon Johnston, Mt. Lebanon

Bleary-eyed and starving for real entertainment, the few remaining loyal viewers of "Survivor Palau" vote themselves off the island with a click of the remote.
Kevin J. Truffa, Allison Park

"I guarantee this pose gets us into 'The New Yorker.' "
Tom Alden, Hampton

The last critics from the Pompeii Picture Palace.
Stan Kolla, Uniontown

"I was hoping to have a larger turnout for my lecture on apathy."
Ed Mikula, Monessen

In the year 2090, trouble dogs Professor Fleagle's environmentist group.
Midge Gilson, Bridgeville

"I told you she wasn't a real virgin."
George Kovacs, Taneytown, Md.

CAPTION CONTEST II

Think you can do this? Here's your chance. First, look at the image below:

Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette Your caption goes right here! Click illustration for larger image.

If you're new to this, the rules are simple. Come up with a funny caption for Stacy Innerst's drawing, and you might win a prize or at least a mention in the Post-Gazette suitable for lamination.

Send your entries to:

Page2@post-gazette.com

or to:

Portfolio
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, PA 15222

Be sure to include your address and specific neighborhood or municipality. Please mark the submission "caption contest."