The cast list for our play is enough to make everybody see double. There are Joan and Joanie, Linda and Linda, Sue and Suzanne, and let's not forget Bob and Bob, the cast of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple (Female Version)."

Daniel Marsula, Post-Gazette Click illustration for larger version.

Luckily, two pivotal McKnight Players, the director and producer, may have been separated at birth, but at least Judy and Lee Ann have different names. "Lee Ann and I," joked the director, "are the odd couple here."

There were 21 years separating the original odd couple -- Walter Matthau's slob and Art Carney's neatnik on the stage in 1965 (Jack Lemmon replaced Carney on film in 1968) -- from the "Female Version," and Simon got progressively saltier in his dialogue for us women. Or maybe America did. Like a dinner dish that turned out too salty, so you add a raw

potato to absorb the extra, we extracted a bit of the innuendo. Bland, it's not. How many times a year does a penguin have sex?

Unlike the guys in the original play, we don't play poker. Our game is Trivial Pursuit, and lest you think it's easy to roll the dice and remember our lines, it's not. We do a lot of eating, too, just as the audience does -- this is dinner theater, and it's a rule that people don't go hungry in our church fellowship hall. In addition to the chicken dinner, there is a bevy of homemade desserts.

This year the play is the first weekend in June, so chances are that southwest Pennsylvania strawberries will be in season, and maybe I'll contribute a strawberry dessert. I'd walk two miles for Mile High Strawberry Pie.

Not that the producer and director believe in typecasting (there's probably not a neatnik in our whole congregation, busy as they are out doing good works), but I do talk a lot about food. Make that obsess about food. Funny how it's a food line that catches me unaware: "Hey, Olive, can we make a rule? Every six months you have to buy new potato chips."

Olive (let's call her housework-challenged) answers: "I do. Eat these until September."

Later, Olive tries to charge us for the "buffet," and Sylvie (played by Linda, our photographer neighbor, as opposed to Linda, the grandmother) says, "Buffet? Hot diet colas and two sandwiches left over from when you went to high school."

The two Bobs play Spanish brothers. One of them is my husband, Ace, the other one belongs to still another Sue -- the nurse Sue, not the preschool teacher Sue. After stints with British and Italian, Ace is working on another accent in a language not his own -- which is good, since all the Swedish he knows is, "Yah, you betcha."

An incurable romantic, Manolo the Spaniard (aka Ace) gets to kiss a lot of hands, but not mine, though one of his lines in fractured English wins my heart: "Yes, I like to ride horses, too."

Last week after practice, Judy and Lee Ann held up a placard that read: "9.7," just like the Olympics. "You're not going on until you get three 10s in a row," Judy said.

I have from now until opening night June 2 to mount the treadmill and work off the excess poundage from the players' fuel: platters of cookies, pies and cakes. In the meantime, I'm focusing on potato chips.

When you see me, just let me know and I'll whisper that racy missing line into your ear. It has to do with dancing close and slow with a teenage heartthrob named Danny Flannigan, who "wore size 28 jeans on a 32 body," and ...

Information about "The Odd Couple (Female Version)": Call 412-719-1614 and leave a message.

Waldorf-Astoria Stew

When a play is in rehearsal, there's not much time to shop, so this has several substitutions. It smells great when you walk in the door after a long day in the salt mines.

• 3-pound beef roast (we used sirloin tip)
  
• 2 medium onions, chopped
  
• 1 cup celery, diced
  
• 2 cups bite-sized carrots
  
• 4 medium potatoes (we substituted one-half of a 28-ounce package O'Brien frozen diced potatoes with onions and peppers)
  
• 1 tablespoon sugar
  
• 1 tablespoon salt (we used kosher)
  
• Freshly ground pepper
  
• 2 tablespoons dry tapioca
  
• 1 cup tomato juice, or 1 cup water, or 1 can tomato soup with enough water to rinse out can (we substituted a 5.5-ounce can V8 juice with enough water to rinse out can)

Cut roast into chunks and remove fat. Put in a roasting pan or in a slow cooker. Do not brown. Add vegetables. Sprinkle on the sugar, salt, pepper and tapioca. Add liquid. (Do not add more water.) There is no need to stir.

Cover and cook at least 5 hours in a 250-degree oven. (We used the slow cooker, first on high for 30 minutes, then on low.) Do not raise lid. This makes its own gravy. Add other seasonings, as preferred.

Adapted from "Another Cook Book" by Women for Columbia, Portland, Ore.

S'more Sandwiches

The original campfire treat undergoes a tasty transformation in this easy chocolate-chip sandwich cookie.

• 18-ounce roll refrigerated chocolate-chip cookie dough, well chilled (or your favorite homemade recipe)
  
• 1 cup sifted powdered sugar
  
• 7-ounce jar (about 1 1/2 cups) marshmallow creme

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray cookie sheets with nonstick cooking spray.

With a sharp knife, cut cookie dough crosswise into 4 equal pieces. Cut each piece into 8 equal slices. Arrange slices 2 inches apart on cookie sheets.

Bake 8 to 11 minutes or until golden at edges and just set at the center. Transfer to wire racks and cool completely.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl combine the powdered sugar and marshmallow creme. Mix with wooden spoon until well blended.

Place 1 heaping tablespoon marshmallow mixture on bottom side of one cookie. Place second cookie, bottom side down, on top. Gently press together. Repeat with remaining cookies and marshmallow mixture.

Makes 16 cookie sandwiches.

"Cookie Dough Delights" by Camilla V. Saulsbury

Becca's Cinnamon Cashew Triangles

Cookbook author Camilla Saulsbury developed this cookie for her sister, who is allergic to peanuts and hazelnuts but loves other nuts, especially cashews. These pretty cookie triangles match her personality at once both sophisticated and homey. These were a big hit at McKnight Players practice for "The Odd Couple."

• 18-ounce roll refrigerated sugar cookie dough, room temperature (or 2/3 batch of homemade butter cookie dough)
  
• 3/4 cup lightly salted roasted cashews, coarsely chopped
  
• 1/2 cup toffee baking bits
  
• 1 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, divided
  
• 2/3 cup sifted powdered sugar
  
• 2 to 3 teaspoons milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9-inch pan with nonstick cooking spray or line with foil.

Break up cookie dough into large bowl. Let stand 10 to 15 minutes to soften. Add cashews, toffee baking bits, and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Mix well with your fingers, the paddle attachment of an electric stand mixer, or a wooden spoon. With floured fingers, press dough in bottom of the prepared pan.

Bake 23 to 27 minutes or until golden brown and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 30 minutes.

In small bowl, blend the powdered sugar, remaining 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon and enough milk to make drizzling consistency. Drizzle over bars. Cool an additional 45 minutes or until completely cooled. Cut into 16 squares. Cut each bar in half diagonally to make triangles.

Makes 32 triangles.

"Cookie Dough Delights" by Camilla V. Saulsbury