Former NBA star Charles Barkley is a man who was ahead of his time.

"I don't believe professional athletes should be role models," he said more than 10 years ago. "I believe parents should be role models."

Barkley was right then. His words are even more right now.

Just about everything that happened at the congressional hearing about steroids last week -- from Mark McGwire's instructive silence about his use of performance-enhancing drugs to Bud Selig's and Don Fehr's weak, inane defense of baseball's inadequate drug-testing plan to Sammy Sosa's ridiculous use of an interpreter even though he speaks English well -- was nauseating. But the most offensive part, by far, were the parents who blamed baseball and its stars for their kids' suicides.

I guess that beats looking in the mirror.

Where were the parents when their kid first starting using steroids, which, they insist, led to his suicide? Did they sit their son down and explain the dangers? They had that little talk about other drugs and alcohol and sex, didn't they?

Where were the parents when the coach told their son he needed to get bigger and stronger to make the varsity team? Did they take the time to explain what the coach meant? That it's OK to hit the weight room, eat six meals a day and drink the protein shakes, but that it's not OK to inject steroids because, well, there are no short cuts to success in sports or life, at least none that don't come without significant risk. Any decent coach who cares about his players would have made that point clear. But were the parents there to reinforce it? Really there?

Go back a step further.

Where were the parents when their kid first started looking to McGwire, Sosa and the other pro athletes as "heroes," the word the parents dropped so casually and inappropriately at the hearing? Did they explain to him he should admire the athletes' dedication, discipline, work ethic and commitment to team? Those are truly wonderful qualities that deserve to be emulated. But did the parents also explain athletes are human beings who, like the rest of us, make mistakes and shouldn't be blindly imitated merely because they can hit a home run or make a 3-point shot or knock a quarterback into next week?

Did the parents try to explain what real "heroes" are?

They should be the people across a kid's dinner table. His parents. His grandparents. His brothers and sisters. His guardians. ... These are the people who love him, who care about his development, who make sacrifices for him, who give him their precious time.

There is plenty of room in a kid's life for other positive influences. That term is so much more preferable than "role models." Teachers. Coaches. Clergy. ... These are the people who know a kid, care about him, have contact with him, want to do everything they can to help him to succeed.

They all should have far more impact on a young person than any athlete.

That takes trust and respect, of course. It can't be demanded by a parent or anyone else. It must be earned by actions. Live a good life. Make wise choices. Set a good example. And, most of all, be there for the kid.

That isn't to say it's easy to be a parent. It most certainly is not. Parents can do the best job possible and their kid still will make mistakes. A few will carry it to the horrific level of suicide. Sadly, tragedies are a part of life.

But it's not Mark McGwire's fault.

There's just no way.

Go back to what Barkley said.

Athletes are, in the end, entertainers; nothing more and nothing less. Because we buy the tickets that pay their salaries, they owe us their best effort. They also owe us a degree of civility. That doesn't mean they have to sign autographs for hours for the pests who hang outside the stadiums and arenas. It just means they can't flip us off or throw chairs at us or come into the stands and try to beat us up, although, let's be honest, some of us almost deserve as much because of our abhorrent behavior at the games.

But that's all athletes owe us. They certainly aren't responsible for how our kids turn out. They make obscene gobs of money, but they aren't paid nearly enough to carry that burden.

Athletes have enough trouble taking care of themselves. It would be great if they led perfect lives that we could hold up as shining examples for our kids, but that's not the way it works for anyone in the real world. You read these pages. You see almost every day an athlete involved in a drug case, a drunk-driving case, a sexual assault case. You know, all too well by now, that some use steroids.

They're human, remember?

They're always going to be human.

It's funny, Barkley was widely criticized for pointing out the fallacy of treating athletes as "heroes."

That was to be expected, I suppose.

The truth always hurts the most.