Ex-CIA agent and author Lindsay Moran has written a colorful account of her time with the agency in her first book, "Blowing My Cover." A Harvard graduate, she admits to having a romanticized view of the Central Intelligence Agency. Besides blowing her own cover, she takes the rose-colored glasses off and describes how sometimes what was supposed to be an exciting career could be mind-numbingly dull. To the CIA's credit, they approved the book.

Q. Why did you leave?

A. I left for both personal and, I guess you could say, ideological reasons. Personally, I realized that I would always have fundamental moral discomfort with the actuality of being a spy. Ideologically, I felt ultimately that the agency was not serving the country well. I had joined to serve the country.

Q. So you can quit the CIA? It's not like the mafia where they own you for life?

A. (Laughing) It's a little bit like the mafia. It's not as easy as it seems. You know there was definitely an attempt to dissuade me from leaving. They are not going to eliminate you or terminate you (laughing), but they do make it difficult. They make you feel as if you have no skills that would ever be of use on the outside. The other thing that they can do, and do, is to deny that you ever worked for the agency. That didn't happen in my case.

Q. In your opinion, does the lack of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq sum up the capabilities of the modern CIA?

A. Well, I never believed that the agency was making the case that there were WMD in Iraq. I don't know who was responsible for what turned out to be a vast campaign of misinformation to the American public. Within the CIA itself almost everyone that I spoke to said that we did not have evidence of WMDs. Certainly not to the extent that Iraq was an imminent threat. In this particular case, the CIA has taken the fall for what ended up being an ill-fated war. From my perspective nobody at the agency was really gunning for that war.

Q. Not even George Tenet?

A. Well that's the thing, when I heard about the "slam dunk" comment I was shocked. All I could surmise was that there must be a huge disconnect between Tenet and his underlings at the agency. All I can conclude is that Tenet, out of loyalty to Bush, presented a different case.

Q. How effective do you think the Office of Homeland Security will really be?

A. (laughing) I have friends who have worked over there as contractors, who have told me, "If you think the CIA is a mess you should check out Homeland Security." I can't attest to that or not. It does seem to me that since Sept 11th our response to the growing terrorist threat has been to add successive layers of bureaucracy to already existing bureaucracy.

Q. How were you most disillusioned with the agency?

A. I think I came to the agency with admittedly naive views about what the reality of being a spy is. I don't hold the agency accountable for the job not living up to my expectations. What I found is that when you work for the CIA, the expectation is that your allegiance will be to the CIA above all else. Above your country, above your conscience.

Q. Creepy.

A. Yeah, very creepy. Also, that it is a very stifling environment. While we were encouraged to think outside the box, in reality anyone who did think outside the box or come up with a creative initiative was pretty much quashed.

Q. How hard was it to live a double life?

A. I found it very hard. Some people, particularly a lot of very male case officers, loved this aspect of the job because it kind of gave you carte blanche to lie and sneak out in the middle of the night to do what you want. Of course, I ended up cutting off a lot of relationships. I was a single woman in my late 20s. It's hard enough to date, let alone having to lie. Plus you are sort of told to make yourself sound as boring as possible. So if you are lucky enough to get a date, you are sort of tasked to make yourself sound like a dud.

Q. You said the best ones tend to leave. Where does that leave the capabilities of the CIA if there are just a lot of mediocre government workers left?

A. We used to joke about this concept of reverse Darwinism at the agency. It wasn't survival of the fittest -- it was survival of the most mediocre. That is in large part why we've seen the agency have a number of intelligence failures.