Vin Diesel couldn't act happy on pay day, but let's get past that. He's an action star hired more for his way of strong-arming through beat-'em-up sequences than for his ability to emote. Expecting the latest lunkhead from La La Land to articulate the thespian arts is like whining that Olivier was a lousy kung fu fighter.

	Kerry Hayes, Walt Disney Enterprises As Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe, Vin Diesel finds out what he's made of when he's assigned to protect five out-of-control children in "The Pacifier." Click photo for larger image. 'The Pacifier' Rating: PG for action violence, language and rude humor. Starring: Vin Diesel. Director: Adam Shankman.

There are far better reasons to feel apathetic about Walt Disney's "The Pacifier." Start with the script. Screenwriters Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant seem more interested in positioning their star in fun places to fight than in how he gets there. Their herky-jerky story flow makes parts of the film feel more like a series of disconnected action music videos than a single story that kids and parents could enjoy together. It's a common mistake among new writers: Lennon and Garant are essentially film and TV actors trying to build screen writing resumes.

Director Adam Shankman, essentially a movie choreographer, had a slapstick hit with 2003's "Bringing Down the House" and a runaway romantic comedy with 2001's "The Wedding Planner." But in "The Pacifier," a movie required to rein in younger attention spans, Shankman allows too many slow periods and dead ends.

The problem with "The Pacifier" is that it's all about watching Diesel battle bad guys instead of building bonding moments among his character's surrogate family. Diesel plays a hard-nosed Navy SEAL assigned to rescue a kidnapped government scientist who's invented a new weapons system. When the scientist is killed on his watch, he's ordered to report to duty on his most dangerous assignment -- baby-sitting the dead man's kids while the scientist's wife searches for the secret part that will make the weapons work.

Brittany Snow and Morgan York aren't bad as two of the five kids under the commando's command. They mutiny when he turns their house into a boot camp but warm up to their unconventional sitter when he fights off a ninja attack with toddler toys and badminton racquets. Lauren Graham is sweet as the school principal, and "Everybody Loves Raymond's" Brad Garrett has a few funny moments as an overzealous vice principal. Faith Ford has less to do as the kids' devoted mom, and Carol Kane is fun in a brief supporting role.

"The Pacifier" is, in many ways, "Kindergarten Cop" without the accent. Disney is right in believing that kids want to see tough authority figures struggling with familiar family mishaps. But they're wrong if they think the story doesn't matter.