I have a dream. Or, actually, I had a dream. About Canonsburg. And I want to share it with you because it has important socio-cinemo-economic implications for the tri-state area.

Did you read where Canonsburg and its favorite son decided against erecting a Bobby Vinton statue? Well, money's tight -- you can hardly blame them. Maybe it's just as well because only AARP members know who Vinton is, anyway. If the goal is show-biz tourism, we'd do better to lure film fans than crooner buffs here. But how?

It's so obvious, I'm surprised no one has thought (or dreamt) of it before:

Forget expensive statues. Just change the name of the Polish Prince's hometown to CANNESBURG -- two little letters in the middle -- and watch what happens. With the help of US Airways flight-and-baggage confusion, thousands of cineastes heading for France each year would be erroneously routed to southwestern Pennsylvania and forced to spend 48 hours or so here on the layover.

Inevitably, the stranded guests would include a few stray celebrities. Sooner or later, with any luck, we'd get a Streep or a De Niro. Why not do them and ourselves a favor? Change a few street signs in C'burg, throw together a pre-fab Cineplex, book a few foreign films into it, and voila! -- "Hollywood on I-79."

Speaking of foreign films (this is one of the finest transitions ever), my idiosyncratic Top Ten list for this year contains no less than five of them. Here, in order of excellence, are the best pix of 2004, direct from Paris (of Pittsburgh, not France):

1. "DONNIE DARKO: DIRECTOR'S CUT"
A brilliantly original, stunningly beautiful soul-searcher of a film. This neo-Kubrickian sci-fi tragicomedy of a boy and an alternate universe, from virtuoso (first-time) director Richard Kelly, was ignored when it first appeared -- 9/11/01! -- but thankfully re-released with amazing new material last summer.

2. "FAHRENHEIT 9/11"
The most shocking, important, vicious American political documentary ever made. Michael Moore's partisan chronicle of the motivational militarism and lies behind W's Iraq invasion evidently failed to disturb 51 percent of the public.

3. "SIDEWAYS"
Alexander Payne's terrifically written, wonderfully acted comedy of odd-couple pals Paul Giamatti and Thomas Hadden Church, lusting and winetasting their way through a last-gasp bachelor week in SoCal.

4. "MOTORCYCLE DIARIES"
Walter Salles' apolitical Che Guevara story, a lyrical road film tracing the Argentine icon's youthful 'round-the-continent bike tour that changed the sensitive medic's life and revolutionary direction.

5. "BAD EDUCATION"
Pedro Almadovar's outrageous, Hitchcockian transvestite mystery dazzles with a tri-level narrative, visual fireworks and a plot more twisted than Rodi Road.

6. "FINDING NEVERLAND"
The totally captivating tale of the real-life Peter Pan -- author James M. Barrie -- and the inspiration behind his famous creation, with gorgeous cinematography and yet another brilliant Johnny Depp performance.

7. "THE SEA INSIDE"
Spanish entry No. 2 is this gut-wrenching, powerful true story, directed by Alejandro Amenabar, of a quadriplegic's struggle for assisted suicide, with a haunting performance by Javier Bardem.

8. "AVIATOR"
Martin Scorsese's long-awaited epic features great aerial special F/X and Leonardo DiCaprio's noble (if problematic) impersonation of genius-inventor-billionaire-looney Howard Hughes.

9. "HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS"
Zhang Yimou's unbelievably luscious love story of ninth-century China's Tang Dynasty is NOT a "martial arts" film but, rather, a spectacular Chinese ballet, choreographed with all the aplomb of Ballanchine.

10. "KINSEY"
Bill Condon brings the sex-sage's wit, wisdom and private life to the public screen with compelling conviction and fine performances by Liam Neeson and Laura Linney.

RUNNERS-UP
"Maria Full of Grace," "Hotel Rwanda" and maybe "The Assassination of Richard Nixon," coming soon to a theater near you -- or in Cannesburg.