To recap a record-smashing week that reached its nadir when police put out an all-extra-points bulletin for a one-time Steelers place kicker who allegedly drove by -- in a minivan -- and shot up the Vegas home of lion tamers Siegfried and Roy (who's next, Wayne Newton?):

Rafael Furcal, found guilty of his second DUI offense, promptly went back to work hours later and hit winning home run in Game 2 for the Atlanta Braves.

Jamal Lewis, after pleading guilty in federal court to facilitating drug trafficking, promptly went back to work to get ready to rumble for the Baltimore Ravens.

Justin Smith, after testing at nearly double the legal limit for intoxication in Ohio, publicly apologized for his DUI and promptly went back to work rushing passers for the Cincinnati Bengals.

Nice records, fellas.

Get outta jail cards for every jock. Hurry, while supplies last.

The Associated Press account in Friday's newspapers was just priceless, thanks only to the fact that the price of a life wasn't exacted by Furcal driving drunk again: Set to report to jail once the postseason ends, Furcal hit a two-out, two-run homer in the 11th ... It was so gracious of blind justice to allow a two-time offender, a Dominican who pleaded ignorance after his first such arrest four years ago, this chance to return to work immediately. Do not pass go. Do not go to jail -- until the Braves' run in the playoffs ends.

Only then will Furcal report to Cobb County (Ga.) Jail by 5 p.m. the next day and begin a whopping 21-day jail sentence. Gee, that would happen to anyone who tested for 50 percent above the legal limit, at a blood-alcohol content of 0.127, and whom police caught speeding 88 mph in a 55 zone.

Set to report to jail once the tax season concludes, the accountant ...

Set to report to jail once his deadline passes, the sports writer ...

No, we'll never hear of such sentences. Because we're not as "special" as athletes and celebrities, because we're not as wealthy and well-lawyered, because we're living in a harsh-reality world.

If the O.J. Simpson case taught us anything about athletic celebrity, it was this: He who enters the courtroom with the most expensive lawyers wins. Jayson Williams reaffirmed that lesson after seemingly getting away with murder. Kobe Bryant's eight-carat crystallized it.

Now along comes another Raven named Lewis appearing in an Atlanta court, plea-bargaining his guilt, agreeing to testify against another defendant. (That worked out so well in the murder trial involving Ray, didn't it?) True, Jamal wasn't a Baltimore player when this crime took place, four-plus years ago. Yet he was a University of Tennessee standout. He was 20 and old enough to know better than to broker a drug deal for a childhood friend, making a call and taking a meeting.

This Lewis was sentenced to four months in a minimum-security prison, two months in a halfway house and 500 hours of community service, but, again, the clock doesn't start until his NFL season ends. As if his profession, like Furcal's, was so important to mankind that it had to continue uninterrupted.

Doctors and policemen and firemen and mothers, all jobs with a far greater impact, get none of that leniency.

Athletes such as Jamal Lewis, Rafael Furcal and Justin Smith -- who gets arraigned Tuesday after testing at a blood-alcohol content of 0.157-- should proceed directly to jail. They should have their get-out-free cards revoked. They should serve their time immediately, the heck with teammates and fans, because their crimes cost society as a whole.

They should be made into examples, if for no other reason than to send messages to athletes today, athletes tomorrow and kids who don't exactly hang posters of doctors, policemen, firemen and mothers.

In fact, you could muster considerable support for harsher penalties against athletes. After all, statistics appear to show that they act as if they're above the law. One in three college sexual assaults are committed by athletes. In 1995, nearly four in 10 athletes were charged with assault contrasted to less than one in 10 members of the general population.

In '97, two authors surveyed 500 NFL players and found one in five had been charged with a serious crime, from murder to rape to assault to weapons to drugs to DUI.

It happens with professionals and college kids, from Notre Dame to New Mexico State this year alone. It happens with high schoolers.

Just like Cole Ford, a seventh-round Steelers draft choice from 1995 and a Raiders kicker for three years being sought by authorities for allegedly firing six shots into the Siegfried and Roy abode, they all need continual confirmation that there is a swift consequence for illegal acts, if guilty.

Do the crime, do the time immediately. Take it like a man.

Like, you know, Martha Stewart.