"The Benefactor" is boring. This new ABC show has the usual reality plan: 16 players contending for $1 million and ... well, that's it.

The players are playing for Mark Cuban's money. He is a self-made billionaire and owner of the Dallas Mavericks NBA team. "The Benefactor" is like "The Apprentice," but without a twist.

It's also like "The Assistant," but without crazy Andy Dick. (Wait, maybe that's a good thing.) Cuban is the anti-Donald Trump. He's basically a billionaire playing God, getting his time as a reality star by giving away some cash.

Who really wants to watch a rich guy on a power trip? And the contestants aren't very exciting, either. (Maybe they're "Apprentice" rejects?)

In the first episode, Cuban cuts three of the 16. The first guy, Rich, goes because he slips up and calls "The Benefactor" a "stupid" game, while Cuban is watching via secret cameras. Then he cans Laurel, who got naked for her application video, but "lost energy." Why, because she keeps her clothes on during her one-on-one interview? Finally Grayson, the poker playing MBA student, leaves. She loses a Jenga game to William, and there goes her shot at $1 million.

In previews, Cuban says, "If you suck up, you're gone." But by the way things are going, I find that very hard to believe. "The Benefactor" airs Mondays on ABC.

Trump -- and his hair -- are back on the second season of "The Apprentice" on NBC. In last week's premiere, the 18 contestants split into two teams: Apex, a female team headed by a man (Bradford), and Mosaic, a male team headed by a woman (Pamela). The teams must design a new toy for Mattel. Apex wins and gets to dine with Donald and his fiancee, Melania. As Project Manager of Apex, Bradford wins immunity next week if his team ends up in the boardroom.

Donald gives Pamela the opportunity to take three guys with her to the boardroom, but she chooses two -- Andy and Rob. Andy is the show's youngest contestant -- he's just 23 and recently graduated from Harvard University, but he shows promise despite his bad idea for a toy invention. (What was that weird crustacean?) Pamela may have led her team to a loss, but she's gutsy, bold and pushy -- she makes for good TV. Rob hears the famous, "You're fired." The former jock barely contributes to Mosaic during the first competition and his lack of effort gets him kicked out of the game.

If you're not watching VH1's "The Surreal Life," and you don't mind wasting a half-hour of your life on mindless D-list celebrity fun, you better get viewing.

On the latest episode, romance heats up between rapper Flavor Flav and actress Brigitte Nielson. "You're definitely my cup of tea," he says to the towering blonde. "I'm scared I could fall in love with you."

After three rounds of dates between the females (Brigitte, Ryan Starr and Charo) and the males (Flav, Jordan Knight and Dave Coulier) in the house, Charo's wacky conversation confuses most of the guys, Ryan crushes Jordan's ego and Brig decides she's sick of sleeping in the bed in the living room and climbs into Flav's bed. "And then she got undressed under my covers and I'm like woooo -- what am I gonna do with this?" Flav says. The night-vision camera shows some action going on under the covers. They just might be the strangest couple ever on reality TV.

New episodes of "The Surreal Life" air Sunday nights, with several reruns during the week.

There's more mayhem in the Gotti house on A&E's "Growing Up Gotti." Victoria's planning a dinner party to impress her boss at Star Magazine.

While she's busy at work, her absent-minded driver, Jeff, and her personal assistant, Jen, are to plan the shindig. Of course they screw up, sending Victoria into a panic over missing asparagus, mere hours before the event.

"I'm gonna lose my mind," she yells. (And yes, she's really yelling about vegetables.) The party ends up a success, though, as guests such as public relations maven Lizzie Grubman dine on Victoria's Gotti specialty -- Beef Wellington. (Too bad her boss doesn't eat beef.) Things get a little crazy when handyman Luigi -- posing as "Count Luigi DeMarco from Rome" -- gets into a shot-for-shot vodka drinking contest with another party guest, Bill. Count Luigi gets pretty tanked and challenges Bill to a duel.

"A fight to death!" Luigi says, right before tossing it in the toilet.

Poor Victoria's exhausted by the end of the night. "Next time I want to impress my boss, I'll buy him a tie," she says. New episodes air Mondays on A&E.

A tie for Crybaby of the Week -- first, Nakomis on "Big Brother 5." Nakomis was cool, calm and collected for the first 71 days in the house, earning a spot in the final four. But in a last-ditch attempt to save herself from being evicted by her brother, Cowboy, she throws a hysterical fit, screaming and crying. The big act gets her evicted by Cowboy. The "Big Brother 5" live finale airs Tuesday night on CBS. I'm rooting for Drew to win the $500,000.

Second Crybaby of the Week is Colin in "The Amazing Race." As the final four teams race through the Philippines, Chip and Kim use the Yield to set back Colin and Christie. Colin has a hard time with the Roadblock and has a tantrum when his ox won't properly plow his field. "I hate you!" he screams.

(I still don't know if he's yelling at Christie or the ox.) The two-hour season finale of "The Amazing Race" is Tuesday on CBS. I must root for the underdogs -- the bowling moms, Linda and Karen; or married parents, Chip and Kim -- to take home $1 million.