As you wake up this morning in the state where our nation's liberty began, remember that there is nothing we as Pennsylvanians can't do if we just get together and lose $3 billion a year.
The state Senate approved a bill to legalize slot machines early Friday morning, and the list of places the government will put its purported $1 billion take of the $3 billion in lost dough is longer than a turnpike tie-up on a holiday weekend. We can soon lower property taxes, build a convention center hotel and save Pittsburgh International Airport, to name just a few promises.
No legislator has yet promised to pay off the Iraqi war debt, but then, the House has not taken up the bill. Give it time.
Pittsburgh is guaranteed one of the 14 slots parlors. We cannot call this a casino because there will be no blackjack, roulette, poker or any games that require even a modicum of thought. No, these parlors will be restricted to machines that are programmed to pay not very much not very often. So we should all visit a slots parlor at least once, because we are unlikely to see so many losers assembled in one building until the Harris Theater hosts a Steven Seagal film festival.
The question now is where to put the city's slots parlor. Sen. Jim Ferlo, D-Highland Park, fought for the guarantee that Pittsburgh gets one, and he sees a lot of options in this city of empty buildings.
Take Lazarus. Please.
The city invested millions in that building. It's the prettiest structure on a shabby stretch. It's big. There's a parking lot attached. There's plenty of foot traffic.
"Make it glitzy,'' Ferlo suggested. "Put all the lights you want on it. I don't care. Make it look like Times Square.''
But Kevin Joyce, the owner of The Carlton restaurant and treasurer of the Pennsylvania Restaurant Association, doesn't want to see a slots parlor Downtown. Put it over in Station Square, in that building where both Philthy McNasty's and Woodson's Grill tanked, as Station Square's owners have suggested.
Station Square is a well-established entertainment complex, one that has weathered increased competition from the Waterfront in Homestead and will soon get more from the South Side Works just a couple of miles down Carson Street. The slots parlor is a natural fit at Station Square, Joyce said.
He has heard what casinos did to independent restaurants in Atlantic City, N.J. There were more than 300 of them before gambling was legalized, and now only a handful hang on. Casino operators don't want their patrons to leave, so they include restaurants and every other comfort to keep open wallets near their machines.
Ferlo, at Joyce's recent urging, attempted to get language in the slots bill that would restrict the number and size of the restaurants in the casino, but it was too late in the game for that. Anyway, Ferlo said established high-end restaurants should not fear additional people Downtown; they should benefit from that.
"I still believe places like The Carlton, Palomino and The Common Plea ... can compete," Ferlo said. "I think [a Downtown slots parlor] will help them."
Atlantic City suggests otherwise, but one slots parlor, even one with 3,000 to 5,000 machines, is hardly Atlantic City. Put the thing in Station Square, and Pittsburgh won't change much, though the pawnbroker business on Carson Street might grow.
Part of the premise for allowing slots in Pennsylvania was to get back the money we were "losing'' to neighboring states with gambling. Though that's overblown, West Virginia appears ready to one-up Pennsylvania by allowing table gambling at horse tracks such as Mountaineer. Delaware likewise is liberalizing its laws to attract gamblers from Eastern Pennsylvania. So in a few years, expect arguments that we have to match our neighbors there, too.
Downtown's main concerns should be refilling suddenly vacant office space and luring more residents. That's the stuff of the Golden Triangle, not casinos or casinos light. Anyway, as long as people lose money within the city limits, Pittsburgh will get its share.
Meantime, folks, until the state's gambling windfall comes, get out there and drink and smoke. If too many of you exercise self-restraint, the commonwealth is doomed.