When you're splitting up, your home is a refuge in a sea of uncertainty. Your kids are comfortable there, so you might yearn to hang onto that house after the divorce. But does it make financial sense?

Like many other aspects of divorce, it depends. Weigh the expenses involved in keeping the house and what you might have to give up to get it against your desire for emotional stability for yourself and your kids.

"The property division in a divorce is final and you can't undo it even if you realize later that you made a mistake," says Carol Ann Wilson, a certified divorce planner and author of "The Financial Guide to Divorce Settlement." "Other areas of a divorce decree can be changed, such as child support or visitation, but not the property settlement."

Although the property settlement is final, there is flexibility in crafting it. Options include co-ownership between you and your ex-spouse for a certain number of years, or taking sole possession and refinancing to keep mortgage payments reasonable.

Although the mortgage is by no means the only expense involved in keeping the house, it's a good place to start. With interest rates near all-time lows, refinancing might be affordable and fairly painless. If you're dividing assets, you might be able to buy out your spouse's share of the equity and still keep your monthly payment affordable.

The catch: You must qualify for a mortgage with your own income, a combination of salary, alimony -- if you get any -- and child support. If you can't qualify for a new mortgage, another option would be co-ownership after the divorce is final. Under such an arrangement, you both continue to own the house, contributing jointly to pay the mortgage, taxes and upkeep.

"A lot of times, people will co-own the house for two or three years with a drop-dead date by which time the house will either be placed for sale or one party will buy out the other party's interest," says Joan Coullahan, a certified divorce financial analyst in Vienna, Va. "In other cases, the partners in a joint ownership agreement will evaluate on a yearly basis whether they want to continue to co-own."

Taxes are the last part of the affordability picture.

"A lot of expenses are beyond your control, and taxes are one of those expenses," says Katharina Gschwend, a certified divorce financial analyst in New Providence, N.J. "Expect that your property taxes will go up, because they usually do."

If you really want to keep the house, you have to give up something in exchange.

"In many cases the house is the major marital asset, and there has to be a trade-off of assets, so the husband usually gets other assets such as the pension or 401(k) if the wife wants to keep the house," Gschwend says.

In some cases, it makes sense to downsize immediately to a smaller house, especially if the expenses involved in keeping the house are more than you can afford. Some people associate the house with their failed marriage and are eager to start fresh somewhere else.

Before making a decision on what to do with the house, both parties in a divorce should consider the long-term consequences. Make sure you're not giving up your financial security in exchange for a house you won't be able to afford in the long run.

Many divorce financial planners and certified divorce financial analysts use specialized software to calculate the long-term effect of various child support, alimony and property settlement scenarios. Involving a financial planning expert in your divorce negotiations can help ensure that both parties are treated fairly.

"I find that when both partners feel they are fairly treated, they will have a decent relationship in the future," Coullahan says. "These issues carry over into parenting, so if the wife made bad decisions in the divorce and didn't get enough financially, it affects the kids, too."