This is the true story of a woman in her mid-20s sharing her experiences of coming out of the closet, abusing alcohol, having her life taped and learning firsthand what happens when people stop being polite and start being real:

"The Real World" comes to Beaver County.

Ruthie Alcaide, former cast member of the MTV institution "The Real World" (during its 1999 season, set in Honolulu) spoke to about 50 students last Wednesday night at the Penn State Beaver on topics often pertinent to college students -- diversity and drinking.

Offering the perspective of a racially mixed Hawaiian lesbian, Alcaide encouraged students to "get out of their comfort zone" as she has throughout her life.

She talked about the transition from predominately Asian and Caucasian Hawaii to multicultured northern New Jersey, where she attended Rutgers University.

"I had never seen so many white, black or Indian people in the same room before," she said.

As a high school student in Hawaii, Alcaide said, she knew that she was attracted to women, but didn't even know there was a word for it. Even if she did, she said, she never would have admitted her "dark" secret to anyone.

"I would have rather been dead and straight than alive and gay," she said.

She came out during her freshman year at Rutgers, when a friend asked her nonchalantly if she was a lesbian.

"I took a deep breath and said to myself, 'It's now or never,' and said, 'Yes,' " Alcaide said. "After four years of hiding and shame, it was such a relief. And my friends didn't care -- nobody cared -- so why should I?"

Alcaide made her infamous mark on reality television during several memorable binges caught by Real World cameras. On her second day on the show, the cast headed to a nightclub. The 5-foot-4-inch, 110-pound Alcaide slammed down more than a dozen cocktails and shots.

Her roommates took her home, stripped her down to her thong, and held her in the shower while she vomited. Her eyes rolled back in her head, she couldn't talk, and began to lose consciousness. They called 911 and paramedics took her to the emergency room, where her stomach was pumped.

"I didn't remember any of it, except waking up at the hospital," Alcaide said. "I watched that episode over and over again. I tortured myself with it."

Alcaide said her unhappiness on the show led to a continued pattern of binge drinking, and during another drunken rampage, she took an MTV car and drove at speeds of more than 100 mph on a Honolulu freeway.

Her roommates and MTV gave her a choice: go to rehab, or go home. She chose the former. During a monthlong stay in a facility paid for by MTV, Alcaide said, she pondered the question, "Am I an alcoholic?"

Yes and no, she said. While acknowledging that she fit the parameters for some models of alcoholism, Alcaide said her primary problem wasn't how often she drank, but how much.

"I added some new words to my vocabulary that I didn't know before: moderation and limits."