I've talked about the need to wear a mask when you run a company. And the thick skin it sometimes takes. (Thick but aware.) I'm not sure I've been very helpful in offering advice on how you do these things.

I know I've talked about shifting paradigms before. But this time I'm talking about switching paradigms on yourself. Seeing your situation in the way that will do you the most good.

For instance, I recently confessed that when I have a setback, I need a little time to lick my wounds and I like to do this in private. And I called this the "woe is me" period. Feel sorry for yourself for a while, even if it's your own damn fault. Even if you should have seen it coming. You already feel bad enough. Don't beat up on yourself even more. Change the paradigm.

Now I did not say lie to yourself. I said change the paradigm -- look at things in a different way, but a way that is still true. Find an upside to your new situation. Find a lesson that will help you not make the same mistake again. Reason with yourself in such a way that where you are isn't so bad after all. Entrepreneurs are creative problem solvers. It is unlikely that in the first days after the setback you are going to be at your creative best. But you do have it in you to see an upside to your situation and pursue it.

In mythology, there is the story of a Greek slave who finds himself in an armlock by his master. The master was twisting his slave's arm to the point where it was about to break. And the slave, what options did he have? He was owned body and soul by the master. He was like a piece of material.

Now, he could have seen his situation as hopeless and despaired, but he did not. He turned to the master and he said, "You can keep twisting that arm and it will break. We both know that. But what good will I be to you with a broken arm?"

Today we have technology to do the work of slaves. But the same principle holds. I ask: do you own an automobile? You think you do. But I would argue that the automobile owns you. When that automobile has a flat tire, you don't have a choice. You have to change the tire. When that automobile is low on gas or out of gas you don't have a choice. When it needs repair, you have to get it repaired.

Do you own a house? There is a leak in the roof. What are you going to do? You don't have a choice. The plumbing is out. You don't have a choice. So in one sense the wealthy own more and more things, but I would argue that the wealthy are owned by more and more things.

I hope you will remember the story about my son Alan who had given up on finding a job and was sitting on my couch in the middle of the afternoon watching television. He explained that his job search had failed, that there wasn't a single job suitable for an MBA in Pittsburgh. I called him one lucky son-of-a-gun, and told him to go out and buy a company. And sure enough he found one that he could swing on his own. But the point is he had been so focused on his failure at finding a job that he had overlooked the fact that as the owner of no assets, he had no assets to risk if he took an even bigger step.

It's always possible to change the paradigm. And the reason is that wealth and poverty; good and bad; good times and bad times are different sides of the same coin. And what we ought to do if the coin falls on a bad situation is realize that there is a good one right on the other side. We just have to use our creative powers to figure out how to get the coin flipped the other way.

It's like the elephant tied to a peg in the ground who says to himself: "What can I do? You have me tied down." But the fact is that only one leg is tied down by one little rope to one little peg. If the elephant realized his inner strength, he would say, "Are you kidding me? You think you're holding me down with that? Get out of here." But he doesn't know that. So he can't change the paradigm. You can.