Darrell Sapp/Post-Gazette
	Terry Bradshaw talks about his struggles with depression, which he now believes prevented him from truly appreciating his experiences winning four Super Bowls with the Steelers.

When Terry Bradshaw talks about his celebrated football career, he describes how each of the Steelers' four Super Bowl victories spurred him to accomplish more.

But this story, which might seem like fodder for sports commentary, is not one Bradshaw celebrates. The darker subtext was a lonely struggle with depression that has continued to this day.

"You won a Super Bowl and the very next day you said, 'You've got to win it again next year. You can't enjoy this,' " he said yesterday during an interview at the Omni William Penn Hotel Downtown. "You've gotta win the fans, you gotta do this, you gotta throw more passes, hit more touchdowns, win more Super Bowls, da-da, da-da, da-da.

"Where's the peace? Am I ever going to get some peace?"

Bradshaw was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder 11 years ago, but went on to experience a series of crippling anxiety attacks. One was so severe that it left him lying on the floor of his apartment, calling out to a friend for help and feeling sure he would die.

Six years ago, in the wake of his third divorce, Bradshaw sought counsel from his pastor and, ultimately, a psychiatrist who diagnosed his depression. He found relief after being prescribed anti-depressants and, in May, started talking publicly about his condition to increase awareness of depression and its treatment.

"I felt like I was on death row and I couldn't get out of the hole, emotionally," said Bradshaw, describing the crisis that led to his diagnosis. His thoughts had been suicidal at times. "It just got deeper and deeper and I got scared."

After playing football at Louisiana Tech, Bradshaw was the Steelers first pick in the 1970 draft. But his confidence was shaken when he faltered in his start as a pro.

Bradshaw went on to lead the team to eight AFC Central and four Super Bowl titles, earning MVP honors in two of the Super Bowls. Yet depression kept him from fully regaining his confidence, he said, and made him sensitive to criticism.

Bradshaw's career was marked by a love-hate relationship with Steelers fans, some of whom booed him at various low points and cheered when he was injured during one game late in his career at Three Rivers Stadium.

Darrell Sapp/Post-Gazette
Terry Bradshaw said anti-depressant medication has helped improve his life.

Looking back, Bradshaw says the mental health problems were part of the reason for the rocky road and that he likely would have reacted with greater maturity had his depression been treated early on.

Encouraging others to get treatment is one reason Bradshaw decided to speak publicly about the disease. In May, he joined Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams to talk about depression and anxiety during a multistate tour sponsored by GlaxoSmithKline. The pharmaceutical company makes the anti-depressant Paxil, which Bradshaw credits with bringing his disease under control.

Bradshaw spoke yesterday with several media outlets following an appearance Sunday at Heinz Field to commemorate the 1,000th game in Steelers franchise history.

Life still has ups and downs, he said, but the medicine helps him cope with the changes and prevents him from bottoming out.

When Bradshaw told his parents about being depressed, his father initially reacted with silence. That's not surprising, Bradshaw said, considering cultural taboos about depression and the general attitude of men toward illness.

"Men are the last ones to seek help," he said.

"Men can't be depressed -- we're macho men, we're pigs. So, I think it's good in the sense that I've let it be known, because there are a lot of men out there that are probably saying, 'If Terry can do this, then I can do this.'

"And there are probably a lot out there who are not going to do it anyway," he added.