6/4/08 -- Post-game

Generally the post-game trip from the press box to the Penguins dressing room takes three-to-five minutes depending on which of the 4,389 circuitous available routes you chose through the ancient arena and whether the elevator on any given night is hostage to the super box crowd, and generally when you get to that room, it is open.

Not tonight.

Media clotted at the closed door to hockey's heartbreak hotel and waited another five minutes or more, and still Sidney Crosby's eyes were red and puffy and his voice hoarse as he began answering the last obligatory questions on a dreamscape of an NHL winter.

Was this as painful a moment as he's had in this game?

"Yeah," he said, almost crying again. "You never know how things are going to turn out, but we wanted to leave everything out there, and we left it all out there."

The last full house in a season of sellouts did the same, roaring its encouragement even as the Penguins fell behind 3-1 in the third period, exploding when Sergei Gonchar yanked the Penguins back within a goal with 87 seconds left, gasping in evident horror as its season climaxed with Crosby's shot on the Detroit net momentarily eluding goaltender Chris Osgood.

Marian Hossa swatted it across the goal mouth just after the clock expired and the Red Wings poured onto the ice to celebrate the 11th Stanley Cup in the history of that iconic franchise.

"The fans have been great all year," Crosby said. "They stayed with us the whole season."

But then, how could they turn away?

This team did everything right in a season of consistent overachievement. Overcame serious injuries to its marquee players -- Crosby and Marc-Andre Fleury -- blasted through three rounds of playoffs like few teams in the game's history, and nearly stretched what was clearly the best team in hockey to a seventh game of the ultimate tournament.

"There wasn't much too say, it hurts so much," head coach Michel Therrien said at the podium 10 minutes later. "I feel the pain from everyone in the room. I'll take time to sit down with each player this week, but I'm very proud of that group. They grew up real quick in the last two years. The future is bright for that group of kids. They have a passion for the game; they want to learn and they're willing to pay the price to get better. I'm really proud of them."

And one day soon, maybe not next year but before many more pass, we'll walk into that room or a similar one across the street and there will be no bitter tears. Just the joyous kind, wetting the same Stanley Cup.

On a personal note, I'd like to thank all the survivors of the Gene Therapy blog who might have joined us during these Stanley Cup Finals.

Should you need a laugh this week, I recommend the Billy Gardell show at the Improv at the Waterfront in Homestand beginning Thursday night. Gardell, a Swissvale native last seen kissing Eva Longoria on Desperate Housewives, just happens to be the best touring comic of the new American century.

The warm-up act is an alleged blogger of your acquaintance.

9:59 p.m. -- 20 minutes to do or die

The Penguins were the obvious aggressors at the beginning of the first act, testing Detroit goalie Chris Osgood with strong shots by Adam Hall and Petr Sykora, but much of the initial energy inside the old Uptown barn seemed to dissipate when Pens defenseman Darryl Sydor committed an interference penalty at 4:17 of the first period.

Forty-six seconds later, the contemporary power play politics of the series changed.

Henrik Zetterberg, operating in heavy traffic in the slot, dropped a perfect back-handed pass to Brian Rafalski in the left circle, and Rafalski got all of it, blasting it past Fleury for a 1-0 Detroit lead and with it the alarming notion that the Wings' power play was alive after all.

The Wings came into the game 3 for 27 on the power play. The Penguins, not much better at 3 for 23, wasted a 5 on 3 advantage for the second consecutive home game. With Dallas Drake off for charging at 8:28 of the first and Kris Draper joining him in the box for roughing Sergei Gonchar, the Penguins had the two-man advantage for a full 93 seconds.

Evgeni Malkin, still goalless in these finals, had two chances on thunderous slap shots, but Osgood stopped both and the Wings killed both penalties while allowing only three shots.

That looked a lot more foreboding when Valtteri Filppula picked up Mikael Samuelsson's rebound and flipped it over Fleury's shoulder at 8:07 of the second, erecting a 2-0 lead and pretty much erasing any notion that the older Wings might not be able to recover from more than 109 minutes of hockey Monday night.

But flip-flopping power play politics brought some life back to the building late in the period when Evgeni Malkin got his first goal since May 18 with Pavel Datsyuk off for interfering with Staal. Datsyuk complained bitterly, almost as though he knew a critical moment had arrived.

When they skated to the dressing room four minutes later, the Penguins had 20 minutes to demonstrated that Datsyuk was correct.

6.4.08 -- 8:07 p.m. -- Pre-game

Among the myriad of positives arising from Pittsburgh's epic Game 5 victory in Detroit early Tuesday morning was that it gave the people who've been counterfeiting tickets for the games at Mellon Arena another shot at spelling the name of the building correctly on those tickets.

Police cuffed a few salesman who dealt tickets with "Melon" Arena on them prior to Game 4, and I'd have verified that the proper corrections were made tonight had I had more than $4 on me. Absent verification, I'm pretty confident that spelling errors were eliminated. Ticket counterfeiters are not by nature bad spellers (columnists are). Still, I doubt many former contestants from the National Spelling Bee eventually wind up scalping tickets outside sporting events, although it's not unusual for a scalper to faint when asked to spell lachrymose.

Speaking of counterfeit, don't be fooled by the inflated nature of the shot totals being generated by the Detroit Red Wings by the start of Game 6. It's true that Detroit outshot the Penguins 58-32 and that 31 additional Detroit shots were blocked in Game 5, and that their shot total for the entire post-season is a seemingly staggering 773 to Pittsburgh's 572, but as Pens defenseman Brooks Orpik explained after a Game 3 in which the Wings got nine of the first 10 shots, "that's misleading. They shoot it from everywhere."

The Penguins have been outshot in all five games of these Stanley Cup Finals, with Marc-Andre Fleury facing 192 before the puck dropped tonight. But as Dick Cheney's hunting partners like to say, it's not how often you shoot, it's more of a directional thing.

With Evgeni Malkin finally managing an assist in Game 5, Jordan Staal had become the Penguin most conspicuous by his absence from any of score sheet associated with these Stanley Cup Finals.

6.3.08 -- 1:42 a.m. -- Not that easy Detroit ... Welcome back to the Burgh

Was that Kid Rock leaving Joe Louis Arena at the end of regulation?

Well, it wasn't Joe Louis leaving Kid Rock Arena.

Either way, a shrewd move. Why wait through another 49 minutes and 57 seconds of scoreless hockey, only to see the hometown Wings diverted from their presumed Stanley Cup destiny by heroic Marc-Andre Fleury and a Pittsburgh Penguin team that obviously has no intention of going quietly into the summer?

Fleury, who denied the Wings on one fabulous scoring chance after the next, all the way to the other side of midnight, sparkled in his finest hour as a Penguin.

"We had every opportunity to win the game," said Wings coach Mike Babcock.

Babcock's team tortured Fleury with 58 shots to Pittsburgh's 32 and outshot the Penguins 24-14 in the overtime. More pointedly, the Wings came within 34.3 seconds of winning in regulation, but watched in horror as Max Talbot rammed the puck past Chris Osgood with what was only Pittsburgh's fourth shot of the third period.

"I don't have a hard time believing this," said Penguins coach Michel Therrien. "I know our team. I know the character of our guys."

That character was undergoing what loomed as its final test in the third period, when Detroit rallied for two goals that put them ahead 3-2 and put them within 10 1/2 minutes of their 11th Stanley Cup. At the same time, Sergei Gonchar and Ryan Malone had left the ice with injuries. Both returned, but Gonchar was not 100 percent and was deployed only on the power play.

Jiri Hudler, whose back-hander in the third period of Game 4 seemingly tipped the series inalterably Detroit's way, took a high-sticking penalty at 9:30 of last night's third overtime. Twenty-seven seconds later, Sykora scored the game-winner with assists from Evgeni Malkin and Gonchar.

Detroit will carry no less of its typical confidence into tomorrow night's Game 6 at Mellon Arena. From the Wings' perspective, they outshot the Pens by almost 2-to-1 and it's only by the grace of Niklas Kronvall knocking the puck into his own net late in the first period that a Game 6 is even discussed.

Pre-game -- 7:01 p.m.

• Detroit was awash in incredible stories of what folks would be willing to do to see Game 5, the one in which it was widely anticipated the Red Wings would win their 11th Stanley Cup, their fourth since 1997.

Standing room tickets were said to be going for $700, and someone offered to trade two season tickets to the Detroit Lions for one ticket to tonight's game. No word on weather that was accepted, but you've got to admit, two Lions season tickets are certainly better than four.

• Among the fresh statistical lists associated with these Stanley Cup Finals was one that held mixed sentiments for Penguins fans. It was actually generated when Nicklas Lidstrom scored the game-tying goal Saturday night in Pittsburgh, which moved him past Ray Bourque into fourth place on the all-time playoff list of goals by a defenseman. Of the top six, two are Stanley Cup-winning Penguins:

1) Paul Coffey, 59.

2) Denis Potvin, 56

3) Nicklas Lidstrom, 42

4) Raymond Bourque, 41

5) Al Macinnis, 39

6) Larry Murphy, 37.

The Red Wings have six goals from defenseman in the playoffs, two in the finals. The Penguins have only two playoff goals from defenseman (Sergei Gonchar and Ryan Whitney), and none in the finals through four games.

6.2.08 -- 11:30 a.m. -- Brilliant strategy called for: More goals

Time to break out the legend of Hap Day, coach of the 1942 Toronto Maple Leafs, most of which remains highly dubious even 66 years later, in part because I'm making some of it up right here on the spot.

I'd love to be able to tell you that the Leafs' (why aren't they the Leaves?) coach's given name was Orenthal Happy Day (O. Happy Day), but it was really Clarence Henry Day. Day was eventually nicknamed Happy, which was shortened to Hap, and might have been shortened in retirement to Ha or simply H, but there's no record of that.

In any event, Hap was coaching the Leafs in the 1942 Stanley Cup Finals when they lost the first game at home to Detroit 3-2, then lost the second game at home 4-2, then went to Detroit and lost 5-2.

Noting that the two-goal offense wasn't exactly getting it done, Hap devised a strategy that went into the history of the finals as one of the most inspired coaching moves of all time.

Prior to Game 4, he laid it out for the fellas right there in the dressing room in one of those Rockne-esque moments that are sometimes inevitably made into bad films starring future Republican presidents.

"Boys," Hap said evenly, "We've got to score more goals."

Legend has it (and legend can keep it) that the sound of palms slapping foreheads could be heard in the hallway outside the Leaves' locker room.

"More goals?" seemed to be the silent revelation. "Why didn't we think of that?"

The Leaves promptly went out and scored four, and won 4-3. Then they scored nine, and won 9-3. Then they won the sixth game 3-0, and the seventh game 3-1. It was the only time in Stanley Cup Finals history a team has come back from three games down to win the title.

Only six teams that were down 3-1 have managed to even force a seventh game, and none won it. If they Penguins, now averaging one goal per game over the first four, are to force even a sixth game in this series, they might consider the old Hap Day gambit. More goals. It's brilliant.

6.2.08 -- 8 a.m. -- A little help, Mr. President

You'd imagine that maybe with a few degrees of separation from the Stanley Cup Finals we'd have a broader and perhaps a more useful perspective on things. But as Game 5 looms and the Penguins face imminent elimination, it would appear for the moment that the whole thing's really been about Rutherford B. Hayes.

I mean if Adam Hall hadn't flipped the puck from behind the net off the right buttock of virtually impenetrable Detroit goaltender Chris Osgood in Game 3, Pittsburghers driving across Ohio for tonight's game would not have had still another opportunity to ignore the Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center right there in Fremont.

They could have visited on either leg of the Super Bowl trip in January of '06, or on either of two trips (so far) to Detroit for this hockey business.

But did they?

Not if they're like me, and God help them.

Hayes is the president who signed the legislation that first allowed female attorneys to argue before the Supreme Court, which is clearly relevant inasmuch as if Hayes were alive today, he'd surely have the courage to sign legislation allowing Evgeni Malkin to actually get a point in the finals.

Unfortunately, Hayes has been dead since 1893, the first year the Stanley Cup was awarded.

No seriously. You could look that up.

The 19th president was further known for being the first to have a telephone in the White House, the first to have a typewriter in the White House, and given the timing of his death, might have been the first of the bearded presidents to have an actual playoff beard.

5.31.08 -- 1:49 p.m. -- What can you say to Malkin? ...

You only had to look at the hunched figure sitting under Evgeni Malkin's nameplate in the Penguins dressing room to understand the burning frustration that these Stanley Cup Finals have become not only for the Penguins, but for their Hart Trophy candidate, their beloved Geno.

Malkin sat there in his customary post-game drench, but now with his head in his hands and an almost deathly stillness to his frame.

He can't score against these Red Wings. Not even if you put him out there 5 on 3 for most of 87 seconds. In his first championship round, Malkin is pointless, and it is all but pointless for the Penguins to proceed without him.

Detroit can get by without Johan Franzen for a night or without Tomas Holmstrom for one game, but the effective subtraction of Malkin from four consecutive scoring summary is not something the young Penguins can be expected to overcome.

"It's just takes one goal to fix that," teammate Sidney Crosby said in the interview room. "He's a great player. You don't just forget how to score. He'll just keep working hard and he'll be rewarded for it. It's just a matter of time."

Of course, if the time frame is more than say 48 hours, it'll have to wait until October, which time the sting of his impotence will follow him like a shadow.

Just as some teams need to fail at the final step before they fully learn how to win, players sometimes need to get familiar with the ultimate indignation. The lucky ones get more chances and find redemption.

5.31.08 -- 7:58 p.m. -- Hope and Crosby ... who's that?

There were 34 shopping days until Christmas.

There was maybe 3/4ths of one shopping day until Thanksgiving.

The Steelers were fresh off a desultory performance in the Meadowlands were they'd allowed an alarming seven sacks against the New York Jets, who'd managed nine all season to that point, and lost 19-16 in overtime.

It was still six weeks until the Iowa Caucuses, where Barack Obama would prove that an African American could draw votes even in a state in which he was, at the time, the only African American.

Approximately.

The Pirates had just begun to change the culture of losing under Frank Coonelly, Neal Huntington, and John Russell into a culture of losing just a little less frequently.

It was Nov. 21, 2007, and Marc-Andre Fleury was still a not-quite-elite status NHL goalie about to get beaten inside the Igloo by the New Jersey Devils by a score of 2-1.

But not since, not in the last six months and 10 days, at least not in regulation, has Fleury been beaten at the Mellon Arena. He was 19-0 at the Mellon Arena since that night as the puck dropped in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, and he was perhaps the No. 1 reason the Stanley Cup Finals were back in Pittsburgh for the first time since 1992.

Fleury hadn't allowed more than two goals in any of the Pens last six home games. He is the only Penguin ever to record three shutouts in one post-season.

If the Penguins win the Stanley Cup, you simply won't be able to say or write enough about Marc-Andre Fleury, so I just thought I'd loosen up.

Chris Osgood, Fleury's Detroit counterpart, on the other hand, still looks like the paper boy. A brilliant puck-tracking paper boy, to be sure, but Osgood, at 35, doesn't look a day older than Fleury, who's 23.

• Someone e-mailed to suggest the Penguins theme for this finals series should be Hope and Crosby.

Well thanks, but I'm trying to keep the vague cultural references in this blog at least to the second half of the 20th century forward. I've got nothing against films like "The Road to Morocco", starring Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, but I'm afraid the portion of the Pens fanbase that is under 60 is having enough trouble with my own archaic references to Keith Richards, who is, by the way, over 60.

• There's no need to quantify to any extent the way the Detroit Red Wings have dominated the post-season, so I won't even bother to point out that of the top 10 players in plus/minus rating in these playoffs coming into Game 4 of the finals, the first eight are Red Wings Henrik Zetterberg (+15), Niklas Kronvall (+14), Brad Stuart (+12), Johan Franzen (+12), Pavel Datsyuk (+12), Mikael Samuelsson (+8), Nicklas Lidstrom (+8), and Valtteri Filppula (+7). Plum native R.J. Umberger of the Philadelphia Flyers was still ninth (+7). The Pens' Marian Hossa was tied for ninth.

• Evgeni Malkin came into tonight's game still looking for a his first point in the Stanley Cup Finals. The general consensus was that he skated much more aggressively in Game 3 than in Game 2, when he was held without a single shot.

Malkin had one goal in the last seven playoff games as Game 4 arrived. He had seven goals in the seven games before that.

There was a common anticipation that Malkin was about to burst from the doldrums, but it was no more likely than a market correction related to Detroit's power play, which was 2 for 19 in the first three games. Game 4 might pivot on which of those trends gets itself interrupted.

• The Red Wings' streak of 17 consecutive years in the post-season is the longest in professional sports. The New York Yankees have bee in the playoffs 13 straight seasons. Since 1991, no organization has played in more post-season games than the Wings' 217. The San Antonio Spurs are second with 205, followed by the New Jersey Devils (190), the Los Angeles Lakers (188), and the Colorado Avalanche (177).

In the entirety of Wings' post-season history, they have the poorest record in Game 4's, 40-51 at game time.

• What was supposed to be a game-time decision on whether Detroit forward Tomas Holmstrom could play in Game 4 apparently came down sometime before game-time, although it wasn't clear whether it got was a lunch time decision, a nap time decision, or even a Miller Time decision. As game time drew near, Holmstrom was not on the ice with this teammates, but his presumed replacement, the veteran Darren McCarty, was skating and ready.

Holmstrom, thrown to the in Game 3 by Pens defenseman Hal Gill, was said to have a balky hamstring, which, given the curious politics of post-season medical communications, probably means he has a stiff neck.

5.29.08 -- On mules and metaphysics -- 4:58 p.m.

If I wanted to start a rock band and I couldn't have John Lennon, I'd start it with Keith Richards. If I wanted to start an ice cream shop and I couldn't have Ben, I'd start it with Jerry. If I wanted to start an NHL franchise and I couldn't have Sidney Crosby or Evgeni Malkin, I'd start it with Johan Franzen, the swoopin' Swede playing left wing for the Detroit Red Wings.

Franzen is 6-3 and 220, and in Game 3 blew past some seriously nimble Penguins -- Rob Scuderi and Pascal Dupuis -- as though they were traffic cones. He roared right up to Marc-Andre Fleury's doorstep to get the first Detroit goal, and only a series of small Penguin miracles and some bad puck luck on Franzen's part kept him from putting it in one or two more times.

"The mule is back," Wings coach Mike Babcock said almost exultantly today. "And he was dominant."

Max Talbot, one of Pittsburgh's shrewder hockey observers, had no doubt about that.

"His goal was obviously a great goal," Talbot said of Franzen. "You don't see a player like Rob Scuderi get beat too often. He's obviously a great player. All we can do is take time and space away from him."

There's a lot of that going around in this series, people trying to take other people's time and space away. It seems like a tall order to me, perhaps something better discussed with Stephen Hawking. Still, it seems more doable than the other thing going on in all sports right now, people trying to impose their will on other people. That's downright metaphysical.

The whole time/space continuum idea as the Franzen antidote might have its merits, but I don't think they surpass those of beating him to the puck and, of course, taking the body.

• The Penguins won the opening faceoff in Games 1 and 2 ,which they lost. They lost the opening faceoff in Game 3, which they won.

Hey, I'm just tellin' ya, but I wouldn't discount the potential relevance of time, space, will, or even Cheetos.

• If you think the Wings organ-I-zation is concerned about dropping Game 3, I would caution you that Babcock was loose enough to seem almost bemused by the fact that his second power play unit is currently outperforming his first.

Asked if any changes might be at hand, Babcock said, "That's what the second unit says, 'Why do you keep putting the first unit out there first?' The first unit is being a little too fine?'"

Asked if his first unit was aware that he's not real pleased, he said, "Yeah, when we show video of successful power plays and they're not in it, they know."

How Orpik rocked the Wings -- 11:30 p.m.

As Captain Kid, the youngest team captain in the long history of the Stanley Cup Finals, Sidney Crosby commands the majority of the headlines after Game 3, in which he scored twice and led the desperate Penguins to a 3-2 victory over the seemingly indomitable Detroit Red Wings.

But to a man, the Penguins and their 17,000 plus eyewitnesses will remember this episode for a thunderous sequence of defensive zone checks by defenseman Brooks (Boom Boom Boom Boom) Orpik near the midpoint of the third period.

Stalking the right wing corner like an agitated bouncer on the far end of last call, Orpik drilled Pavel Datsyuk and knocked Daniel Cleary to the deck in that sequence, but didn't keep track of the victims.

"You just want to keep pounding on them," Orpik said in the Pens dressing room. "I don't remember who it was and it doesn't really matter who it was. You just want to keep pounding because you can begin to see in their faces that they were gassed, that they wanted to get to the bench."

Pens coach Michel Therrien credited Orpik's devastation with nothing less than igniting his teammates and the crowd to the point where the established momentum was more than even the Red Wings could handle.

When Scotty talks ... -- 10:54 p.m.

The greatest hockey coach of all-time stopped by the blogging suite between the second and third periods.

"Better energy tonight," Scotty Bowman said of the Penguins. "But they've got to stay away from penalties."

Scotty, can ya stay here while I text Hal Gill?

Bowman is the last man to coach either of these teams to a Stanley Cup championship. Add his championships with the Montreal Canadiens and, well, Gene Therapy just doesn't have the space, even in cyberspace, to fully quantify his impact.

As it developed, both teams skated a penalty-free third until Malkin went off for hooking Niklas Kronvall at 15:42, a monumental mistake coming as it did barely two minutes after Detroit's Mikael Samuelsson chopped the second of Pittsburgh's two two-goal leads in half at 13:37.

Adam Hall, who scored the third Pittsburgh goal, started the critical penalty kill with a brilliant clearing pass, and Malone cleared it twice around Fleury's great stop of a Valterri Filppula stuffer attempt with 29 seconds left in the penalty and 2:46 remaining in the game.

For the last in a series of monstrous third-period saves, Fleury stopped Henrik Zetterberg as he flew into the left faceoff circle with 2:00 on the clock. The Wings pulled Osgood for a sixth skater with 25 ticks remaining, but the Penguins simply had too much momentum in the rollicking arena.

Mojo once was lost, now is found -- 9:58 p.m.

Crosby's first-period goal, his first in any period since May 11, unshackled him and teammate Marian Hossa from this conspicuous list of Penguins who'd been rendered pointless by Detroit. It still included Evgeni Malkin and Ryan Malone as the second period began. Neither had appeared on a score sheet associated with any of the first three games of this series.

The Penguins wound manage six shots in the period, no better a pace than in the first two games, but they did manage to hold Detroit to nine. The Red Wings had averaged 35 shots per game.

When Malone finally found the scoresheet in the second period, assisting on Crosby's second goal of the game, the Penguins really looked, for the first time since the Flyers series, like the Penguins.

They began moving easily through the neutral zone and started to put consistent pressure on Osgood for the first time since the first 10 minutes of Game 1. Had it not been for two remarkably stupid cross-checking penalties against Hal Gill, the first about 100 feet behind the play and both against Tomas Holmstrom, Pittsburgh might have extended its 2-0 lead. As it was, it spent too much of the second period killing penalties and instead, had that lead sliced in half by Johan Franzen, who walked around Rob Scuderi right onto Marc-Andre Fleury's doorstep and flicked it past the Flower.

There was nothing wrong with head coach Michel Therrien's impulse to get Darryl Sydor into his Game 3 lineup, but he should have pulled Gill instead of Kris Letang. Gill was a minus three in the first two games, and always struggles against the league's top speed skaters.

Franzen, who missed Game 1 with what were consistently referred to as "concussion like symptoms" (flu-like symptoms only higher), leads all playoff goal scorers with 13.

Some things best forgotten -- 9:01 p.m.

The historic moment approached with none of Mellon Arena's talented functionaries setting up any kind of ceremonial presentation table or anything else that would indicate that the Penguins planned to recognize the accomplishment.

But there it was, at 15:22 of the first period, and Jordan Stall was permitted to carry the puck into the offensive end. No stoppage. No ceremony.

Huh.

So let me write the history.

At 15:22 of the first period last night, May 28, 2008, the Penguins broke the franchise record for the longest period of sustained playoff hockey without any interruption by a goal.

Entering the game without having scored in 135 minutes 57 seconds stretching back to early in the third period against Philadelphia May 18, the Penguins effortlessly surpassed the club record of 151 minutes 18 seconds without a goal, which was set against the New Jersey Devils and Martin Brodeur in the spring of 2001.

The Penguins didn't seem to be taking any chances of avoiding the record, taking the precaution of firing exactly one shot on Detroit's Chris Osgood in the game's first 15 minutes.

Two minutes later, Sidney Crosby flipped home a Marian Hossa rebound to put Pittsburgh ahead 1-0. It was the Penguins first goal of these Stanley Cup Finals. It's first lead. It's first flicker of hope.

For the record, the new Pittsburgh record for uninterrupted goal free hockey is 153 minutes, 22 seconds. More than two and half games. Way to go.

The crowd is clear -- this is victory night
5/27/2008, 8:15 P.M.

As the puck dropped for Game 3, there was already indisputable visual and audible evidence inside Mellon Arena that the Red Wings had no chance whatsoever.

It was a whiteout, after all, so why the Wings even bothered to skate was beyond me.

You can't beat the whiteout, unless you were the Boston Celtics at the Palace at Auburn Hills this week, or the Ohio State Buckeyes at Penn State last October, or any number of other teams made to feel comfortable by having a hostile crowd wear the same color they wear.

It's stupid.

Not to harp.

As for the auditory karma, Jeff Jimerson's rendering of our national anthem was again bold and clear and direct, even if its ever more obvious styling riffs make it a little arrhythmic for my taste. (I'm sure this upsets him.) One of the great talents in Jimerson's arsenal is the ability to ignore the mid-anthem screaming of traditional implorations by the citizens, the only one I remain sure about being, "Let's go Penguins!"

The rest I believe are Latin phrases such as Utinam babari spatioum tuum invadant", or "may barbarians invade your personal space" and "Nihil declarandum or "I have nothing to declare."

The Penguins are 26-3 with Jimerson doing the anthem this season.

And now, some news from the Love Kitchen
5/27/2008, 9:55 A.M.

In its first real or imagined scoop of these playoffs, Gene Therapy is reporting exclusively this morning that the Illitch family, owners of the Detroit Red Wings and a fewer other odds and ends, is apparently so happy with the ineffective play of the Pittsburgh Penguins in these Stanley Cup Finals that it has promoted their head coach to Vice President, International, of Little Caesars.

In a document obtained by the Gene Therapy blog via the ancient if dubious journalistic technique of always picking up the press release most clearly unrelated to matters at hand, in this case the one headlined "Little Caesars #1 Pizza Chain in 2007 U.S. Store Growth," the Illitch owned pizza empire revealed its plans.

"Little Caesars intends to expand its international presence and has approved franchises in Costa Rica, Peru, and Ireland," it says. "To support its long term focus on international growth, Little Caesars promoted Michael Therrian to Vice President, International. He will focus on growing stores and strengthening Little Caesars brand globally."

Unfortunately, in a uncommon fit of fact checking, I've discovered that the Penguins Mike Therrian is actually Michel Therrien, with two 'e's, two 'r's, and two losses to the Wings in the first two opportunities.

The head coach's performance in these finals really isn't much of an issue, even though his line juggling after Game 1 had no impact on Game 2. I didn't fully appreciate what a fine little disaster he was overseeing until he blamed the officials for the Game 2 loss, always a desperate measure.

Luckily enough though, the Little Caesars Love Kitchen, a pizza kitchen on wheels that travels the nation providing hot pizza to the homeless, disaster survivors, and rescue workers, has comforted more than two million people since its inception in 1985. Its probably Mapquesting the Mellon Arena even as we blog.

Somehow I doubt Gary Roberts will be welcome in the Love Kitchen. but if they operate a Gratuitous Punch In The Head Kitchen for concussion victims, he can probably drive the bus.

Just for the record then, the Illitch family owns Little Caesars Pizza, the Detroit Red Wings, the Detroit Tigers, Olympia Entertainment, Olympia Development, Blue Line Foodservice Distribution, Champion Foods, Uptown Entertainment, Little Caesars Pizza Kit Fundraising Program, and MotorCity Hotel Casino. In a somewhat related development, Red Wings vice president for goalkeeping Chris Osgood now owns the Pittsburgh Penguins.

That's all from Hockeytown.

I'll be blogging quasi-live during Game 3 tomorrow night, because, obviously, danger is my middle name.

If you listen closely ...
5.27.2008, 12:10 a.m.

You could hear a pin drop, as they say way too often, in the Penguins dressing room after Game 2. If you listened close enough, you could probably hear a dream die as well.

Hockey historians often talk about pivotal moments in the psychological politics of the Stanley Cup Finals, the moments at which one team realizes it is no match for the opposition.

No one would dare pinpoint it in the losing locker room, but the sense that it had occurred somewhere in the preceding 60 minutes was palpable.

The Penguins averaged 32 shots per game in this overachievement of a season. They're averaging barely 20 through Games 1 and 2.

Sidney Crosby, with no goals since Mother's Day, insists he and his teammates are mostly the victims of bad hockey juju.

"I don't think they had that many good chances either," Crosby said late last night. "Our chances wouldn't go in. Theirs do. There's not much more to it than that. It's playoff hockey."

Whatever it is, the Penguins will need a near total psychic inversion to play it for even three more episodes.

Scoring is always a nice thing ...
5.26.2008, 7:05 P.M.

Just as was the case for Game 1, there were plenty of Penguins fans in the Joe Louis Arena, and again they were highly vocal throughout the pregame. Like the hockey team, they haven't made much impact to this point, but that's expected to change, especially if the Penguins go through with their threats to actually, you know, score a goal.

Despite holding the Penguins to 13 shots below their average (19 rather than the typical 32), Detroit coach Mike Babcock still saw a dangerous opponent on the bench to his right.

"I think they're an excellent, excellent hockey club," Babcock said. "And I think they're scary. We had some puck luck (in Game 1 penalty kills) and Ozzie (goaltender Chris Osgood), but this game can be totally different. If they score first, maybe it's different for them."

Pens forward Pascal Dupuis, like Babcock, and for what it's worth (zero), like me, did not see the 4-0 final in Game 1 as an accurate measure of the difference in the performance of the Stanley Cup finalists.

"It just wasn't like us, not our game," Dupuis said. "We made them look good. We just have to keep the game simple, and do the little things we've always done."

A few big things wouldn't hurt either, like, again not to harp, putting it in the net.

How about this for a fantasy league?
5.26.2008, 2:02 P.M.

You can only watch so many morning skates before your mind starts to wander (in my case, two), so I guess that's why I got into a conversation today about how many goals would be scored in a hockey game were there no goaltenders.

Would it be no more than the standard shots-on-goal totals, like 36-19 in the case of a Game 1 dominated by the Detroit Red Wings, or, presented with the highly inviting empty net, would skaters shoot like the Detroit Pistons and generate finals like 119-113?

Admittedly, this is really high consciousness hockey stuff, which is why I was so fortunate to be sitting behind Hall of Fame broadcaster Mike Lange during such a spasm of fantasy.

"If it was our (19)80 team, we wouldn't get 10 a night," Lange said. "I can't give you the other number."

As idle minds sometimes work alike, Lange said he'd never considered the empty net format, but had fantasized about putting a boxing ring on the ice.

"I detest the whole fighting-is-part-of-the-game position," he said, "but if you're going to have it, why not have people beating the hell out of each other in the traditional way? People would love it."

I'm afraid that's correct.

Lange's other idea in this vein is one-on-one hockey.

"Like Lemieux against the greatest goaltender in the world. Pay per view. The whole deal. Big purse. They'd split the purse, you know, because the goalie's gotta get something for getting beat."

I told him about my idea for multiple pucks, actually a whole bucket of 'em, all in play at once.

"Yes," he said, "but there's only one that counts, the glow puck. But you don't know which is the glow puck. They pull 'em all out of the net, put an infrared light on them, and if the glow puck is in your net, you lose."

Again, these are clearly high level discussions, and obviously I'm fortunate to find someone with whom I can communicate with on equal terms, but Lange is lucky too in that I've long since overcome my bitterness related to his rejection of the brilliant goal call I urged him to add to his famous repertoire,

"Heee shoots and scores; aww there's the good dog, who pees outside!"

It's time to bring some attitude back to the ice
5.26.2008, 9:30 A.M.

The Penguins always travel with their representative collection of knick knacks and doodads, doo-knacks, and knickdads, and they are prominently displayed.

They bring a Terrible Towel, for one thing, and their circular Penguin logo throw rug to put in the middle of the dressing room to give people something to walk around. You don't step on the Penguin, lest you be told about it.

They bring a stack of slogans on signs, things such as DISCIPLINE OF DETAILS, DETAILS OF DISCIPLINE, and GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF GREAT.

That second one looks suspiciously like the first part of an SAT question:

If good is the enemy of great, bad is the enemy of --

More tangible perhaps, the Penguins occasionally bring Gary Roberts, and there's been a lot of discussion between Games 1 and 2 about what Roberts will bring to the ice tonight that wasn't there Saturday night.

Anger is the general consensus.

"When he's out there, everybody on the ice knows it," Sidney Crosby explained. "Gary Roberts can go out there and really get you some momentum with a big hit."

For his part, Roberts didn't dispute that general purpose, but cautioned that the Red Wings are the prototypical moving target.

"I can bring some emotion, bring some intensity, but this team we're playing against is really smart," Roberts said. "They move the puck really well and you don't get a lot of chances to hit them. They've proven game after game that they're smart, so we've got to find a way to keep the puck in deep."

It was while making sure to stand clear of the Penguin logo rug, I bumped into Pens broadcaster and legendary Stanley Cup mucker/grinder Bob Errey, who admitted he wasn't thrilled with Pittsburgh's demeanor the other night after the first 10 minutes.

"You can't react like that," he sniffed. "You've got to be abrasive."

Roberts' presence tonight is meant to remind the Red Wings that the Penguins aren't going to roll over in this series, but it's larger purpose is more likely to remind the Penguins.

The move that almost happened
5.25.08

Spending this festive holiday weekend's eve in Detroit reading through the transcript of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman's wide-ranging press conference prior to Game 1 (that's right, I'm livin' the dream), I couldn't help but notice something that the Commish might have misremembered regarding the long term health of your Pittsurgh Penguins.

If you didn't see it in Shelly Anderson's notebook in the Sunday editions, Bettman was asked whether the Penguins would have moved if the club had been sold to Blackberry Jim Balsillie, and how far the league would have gone to prevent it.

"I cannot speculate," Bettman said last night, "and it would be presumptuous for me to speculate on what Mr. Balsillie's motives were, but I think as everybody knows, we were intent upon keeping the Penguins in Pittsburgh and doing everything possible to get them into a building, because they needed a new building in order to stay because the team is not viable long-term in Mellon Arena, or as I like to affectionately continue to call it, the Igloo."

Well, as I like to unaffectionately continue to remember it, Bettman was practically hysterical on the same subject on the afternoon of Dec. 20, 2006. Just hours after the state Gaming Commission awarded the slots license to Don Barden, still days before local and state politicians could formally respond, Bettman practically had the moving vans loaded, at least rhetorically.

"The decision by the Gaming Commission was terrible news for the Penguins, their fans, and for the NHL. The future of the franchise is uncertain and the Penguins now will have to explore all other options including possible relocation.

"The NHL will support the Penguins in their endeavors."

Of course, none of this is true today, but the more salient point is, none of it was certain then either.

Other than that, the highlight of the Commish's annual presser was the explanation of how the arrival of octopi on the ice (an enduring Detroit tradition just unusual enough to be interesting) impacts the playing surface. When a cephalopod is shot-putted over the glass and lands on the playing surface, that's one issue, but when it is projected with a twirling or swinging motion, the potential impact is compounded because of what "comes off an octopus."

"I don't know what the technical name is for stuff that comes off an octopus," Bettman said. "I assume it's some sort of gunk."

Correct. To be specific, octogunk.

The Yahtzee cup line
5.25.08

Though it hasn't happened for a few months, it's not terribly unusual for Penguins boss Michel Therrien's forward line combinations and even entire lineups to look as though they were spilled like dice from a Yahtzee cup.

This afternoon's practice, in the wake of Pittsburgh's 4-0 loss to the Red Wings in Game 1, brought several scrambled combinations to the Penguin offense. Ryan Malone was added to the Sidney Crosby-Marian Hossa line, with Pascal Dupuis exiting to be aligned with Jordan Staal and Tyler Kennedy. Max Talbot will replace Malone to skate with Evgeni Malkin and Petr Sykora. Gary Roberts, a healthy scratch in Game 1, will skate in Game 2 with Adam Hall and Jarkko Ruutu.

Georges Laraque loses at musical forwards.

"Nobody's role really changes," Crosby said when the skating had stopped. "It's about matchups."

When teams who don't see each other much meet in games of some consequence (the Penguins and Wings did not play each other at all this year), coaches often have a difficult time figuring out who they want on the ice against which opponents, but it's difficult, inexact, and sometimes highly suspect.

Even with the home ice advantage of having the last change, Detroit coach Mike Babcock was reduced to explaining his Game 1 matchups like this today:

"Well, we wanted to play (Henrik) Zetterberg, and then we didn't -- it didn't matter to us as much against the other guys. Zetterberg against Crosby. And then we thought we'd play Malkin or (Kris) Draper or, sorry, Draper or (Valterri) Filppula, depending on what worked best."

Thank you.

Crosby, who'll no doubt see Zetterberg again after having generated only three shots in Game 1, was asked by someone perhaps unfamiliar with Therrien's tendencies if today's line changes smacked of desperation.

"It's only Game 1," Sid said. "I don't think it's desperation."

Scheduling conflicts
5.25.08

No city has ever had teams win the Stanley Cup and the NBA Finals in the same year, and the Detroit Pistons were doing their part last night to keep that streak alive, losing Game 3 at home to the Boston Celtics 94-80.

You can't blame the Pistons for being a little distracted.

In Game 2, one of 'em was actually called for traveling, a rule that hadn't been enforced since before the Red Wings won the first of their 10 Stanley Cups, to say nothing of the obvious inconvenience of having to battle the Celtics while their hockey brethren were under siege by Penguins across town.

All right, not exactly.

A little amazing is the fuss being made over the conflicted schedules of the Pistons and Red Wings in this playoff round. It's not so much inconvenience as coincidence. Sure the Pistons were scheduled to start their game 30 minutes after the Wings last night, again tomorrow night, and again Wednesday night. But the fuss assumes that most interested parties have to see both.

Untrue.

Only about 10 or 12 percent of any city's hockey fans are avidly interested in the NBA, and verse vica.

Furthermore, many Americans are familiar with modern technologies that allow you to record television programs, such as basketball games, WHILE YOU ARE WATCHING ANOTHER PROGRAM. This capability, no doubt the result of NASA research during the Gemini program, has been commonly available for approximately 30 years, and has been mastered by millions of even our most techno-phobic citizens.

If not so much by me.

The Penguins, if you've been paying attention since roughly 1967, are now 13-42-12 all time in Detroit, including last night's 4-0 slapping by the Red Wings in Game 1. The Pens remain 10-0 in these playoffs when they score first, 7-0 when they lead after the first period, 9-0 when they lead after two periods.

The problem so far in these Stanley Cup Finals, however, is that they remain 0-a coupla thousand in games when they fail to score at all. All time that is.

Detroit's experience advantage for this series is more than just a matter of Nicklas Lidstrom being old enough to be Jordan Staal's father. Four of Detroit's top seven all-time leaders in postseason games played on are this Red Wings team, including Lidstrom (No. 1 with 208), Kris Draper (No. 3 with 186), Darren McCarty (No. 4 with 165), and Kirk Maltby (No. 7 with 143). And that doesn't even count Chris Chelios, who didn't play in Game 1, but holds the NHL's all-time record for post-season games with 260, set with Montreal, Chicago, and Detroit.

Postgame Motown vibes
5.25.08

Having just finished a column about Game 1 which posits that though the Penguins might have been outplayed by the Detroit Red Wings, they are not in any way overmatched, I'm reminded rather uncomfortably of what became of the last three teams that blitzed through the first three rounds with only two losses, as these Penguins did.

They lost in the Stanley Cup Finals.

All of them. Two of 'em got swept.

Your 2002-03 Anaheim Ducks took the New Jersey Devils to a seventh game, but the 1994-95 Red Wings were swept by the Devils, just as the 1991-92 Chicago Blackhawks got broomed by the defending Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins.

Still, that's not the vibe I'm getting in the post-game.

Sidney Crosby, standing with his parents in a Joe Louis Arena hallway waiting to head for the interview room, appeared typically unflappable, as did most of the Penguins in the dressing room.

Those who call Hockeytown home might look at this as a 4-0 spanking in which the Wings hit at least three posts and didn't even have their leading playoff goalscorer, Johan Franzen, who's expected to play eventually in his series despite a severe head injury.

Journalists are warned to type severe head injury cautiously, as it can come out "severed head injury," which is very hard to come back from, even if the NHL would classify it as merely an upper body injury.

Morning skate-o-rama
5.24.08

As Game 1 approached, most everything about this unpredictable series remained perfectly predictable.

The Penguins arrived at Joe Louis Arena for the morning skate, and within seconds, it was evident that once again, no one had forgotten how to skate. Hockey and basketball remain the only major team sports that include a formal warm-up session eight to 12 hours before the actual competition. The morning skate and the shoot around ostensibly serve some purpose, although I've noticed the Steelers have done quite well all these years without being compelled to show up a 6 a.m. for a slap around.

In any event, the Penguins appear very loose, just as they have throughout the postseason. This is the team, after all, that altered the photo gallery in the back halls of Madison Square Garden just a few weeks ago. Immediately outside the visitors dressing room in the world's most famous arena, there hang photo images of many of the legendary performers who have graced its stage lo' these many years.

Paul Simon, John Lennon, Billy Joel, Frank Sinatra, et al deck the halls, and there, on the photo of the great clown Emmett Kelly, some Penguins taped the name of backup goaltender Ty Conklin along the bottom border.

The Red Wings don't appear the least bit jittery either, perhaps drawing on the fact that they've won this Stanley Cup thing a mere 10 times.

The Wings were turned out in the iconic home uni's, red sweater, red shorts, red helmets, red marks on their splotchy red faces soaked with sweat. In the days when the Los Angeles Kings wore an all yellow-gold ensemble, televised matches between these teams looked on the screen like mustard vs. ketchup, coupla a teams that don't like each other.

As for the equally iconic winged wheel on the front of those Detroit sweaters, well, it's very traditional and familiar, but really, wings don't go on wheels. They go on birds, you know, like Penguins. Not to be contrary.

No official word yet on any friendly wager between Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, but if I were Luke, I'd propose this one: If Detroit wins, Kwami gets a year's supply of Primanti's sandwiches, whereas if Pittsburgh wins, Ravenstahl gets to see the entire log of all the sexually charged text messages Kilpatrick exchanged with Chief of Staff Christine Beatty, the ones that seem likely to bring down his administration.

In 1941, the 'other' Pittsburgh kid's flawed strategy
5.24.08

Since 25 percent of young people in one recent survey could not identify Adolph Hitler or place the Civil War in the correct half century, it's entirely possible that a few history-challenged Pens fans will be watching tonight's game from Joe Louis Arena with no idea whatsoever who Joe Louis was.

To review then ...

Louis, the former heavyweight champion of the world and longtime Detroit resident is widely considered the greatest heavyweight and the greatest puncher of all time. He held the title for more than 11 years and one of his most memorable fights came against Billy Conn, a.k.a. The Pittsburgh Kid.

Conn, the light-heavyweight champion, challenged Louis for the title in June of 1941. With the country at the brink of war, Louis was at the height of his stature and popularity. Louis weighed 201 pounds that night, Conn only 169 1/2. Promoters were so embarrassed by that gap they listed Conn officially at 170 and Louis at 199.

The moment was so electric with anticipation that the Pirates stopped the game they were playing at Forbes Field that night and both teams just sat in the dugout and listened with the crowd to a radio broadcast of the Conn-Louis fight piped in over the public address system from the Polo Grounds in New York.

An accomplished tactician and underrated puncher, Conn carried the fight to Louis and scored impressively. In the 12th, Conn hurt Louis with repeated combinations and seemed on the verge of an unthinkable upset. Conn told his cornermen after the 12th that he was going to knock Louis out in the 13th.

Despite pleas that he merely stick with his gameplan and win a decision, Conn came out slugging.

Big mistake.

Louis measured him and knocked him cold.

Asked in his dressing room about the strategy that doomed him, Conn reflected only a second.

"What's the use of being Irish," Billy said, "if ya can't be dumb?"

Will youth win out over experience?
5.24.08

If there's a general dichotomy outlined by the national media for these Stanley Cup Finals, it's Pittsburgh's youth against Detroit's experience, and I didn't realize how stark the difference in these two teams is until I found out that the average age of the Red Wings is 68.4 years.

When Detroit defenseman Chris Chelios made to Cobo Hall for an interview session, I was surprised he was without any portable oxygen or even a cane. I hadn't seen him since he played for the Chicago Blackhawks in the Finals against the Penguins in 1992. He really doesn't look a day over 46, which he is, honest to God.

Wings goaltender Chris Osgood's inclination was to play down the Penguins' youth, but he couldn't get past this rather Zen-like observation.

"I didn't realize they were that young," he said, "until I started hearing their ages."

Yeah.

The aging process seems to play out differently on the margins of the game than it does on the ice. The older, I get, for example, the greater the portion of the second period it takes me to figure out which team is skating in which direction. As the teams switch nets after the first period, it used to be I was confused for only the first minute of the second. Now, I can go two or three minutes with no more idea of what's going on than I do during an episode of Law & Order.

In any case, my own analysis is less focused on youth, age, and the vagaries of each, and more on skill vs. skill, and I'm happy to report it leaves me with no earthly idea of who'll win this series.

I might change this prior to gametime tonight, but for now I'll say Penguins in 8.

Do You Even Watch the Game?
5.23.08

Beginning tomorrow, unless I forget, there will be blog.

Even more chillingly, it'll be my own.

I'll post three or four times throughout the day, beginning at 8 a.m., from fabulous Detroit Rock City, site of Games 1 and 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

The blog is called Gene Therapy, mostly because I'm Gene, but partly because everyone associated with it, from the inhabitants of the diabolical editors' den from which it sprang, to its callow author, to its wary readership (yes you, mother), has a reasonable chance to be prescribed therapy by the time it's run its course.

Not to make extravagant promises.

I will NOT be blogging during the actual games (see Seth Rorabaugh's Empty Netters blog for that) as I'll instead be practicing the ancient art of column writing, in this case, the deadly variety in which the deadline and the final horn arrive pretty much simultaneously. So for the next couple of weeks, spare me the e-mails where the subject line says, Do You Even Watch the Game?

Because no, I don't. Not really.

Essentially, this blog will have two elements: things that leap out at me in covering this historic collision between the Penguins and the Red Wings, and, umm, other stuff.

Though it'll be essentially hockeycentric, the content might intermittently have no relationship whatever to the matters at hand. The first thing that leaped out at me on this trip, for example, was the price of gas in Toledo yesterday, $4.15 a gallon.

I'd been hoping for a more gradual indoctrination to the $4 gallon of gas, perhaps a week of $3.99-$4.01 to and fro, and instead I'm crosschecked over the half boards (keeping it real with a hockey reference, see?). On the other hand, a 16 .oz draft of Stella Artois at the hotel bar is $6.25, which is $50.00 a gallon, so I guess I shouldn't complain.