On top of his game:
UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland -- you may remember him from his days as Pitt's coach -- was the featured speaker at a recent Special Olympics function at Long Beach State University. The Los Angeles Times reports he showed up with two black eyes and a swollen nose. No, said Howland, he had not been riding a motorcycle without a helmet. Remember, he said that, not us. But he also said he had undergone recent surgery for skin cancer on his nose. "Will you be gorgeous by the start of the basketball season?" someone asked. Ever humble, Howland replied: "I don't know about gorgeous, but I'll be fine." Thanking us for bringing this to your attention is optional.
Dumb and dumber:
Our crack research team was Googling over the weekend and found this on ananova.com. A woman heading for the World Cup soccer match between Brazil and Australia was mugged. The mugger found her ticket to the game in her purse. No one ever has accused muggers of being the brightest bulbs on the planet, and this one was no exception. Instead of scalping the ticket, he went to the game -- where, as a Munich police spokesman said -- he sat "next to his victim's husband, who immediately informed officers on duty at the stadium [of the crime and the criminal's whereabouts.]"