If we must put bacon on everything, then make it useful

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I give up! The Bacon Zombies have won.

Who are the Bacon Zombies? They are a collection of folks in and out of the food industry who seem to be obsessed with bacon. I like bacon as much as the next guy. I’m a chef who’s been cooking in restaurants for 39 years and still love it. I just don’t get the need to put bacon on nearly everything.

Some recent examples are: Instead of the cookie table, a local wedding party was having a “bacon table”; there is now a “bacon crawl,” as opposed to a pub crawl; on many food-related shows, you’ll see a glassy-eyed foodie who will chirp, “Everything tastes better with bacon!” (Who knew?)

Instead of whining anymore about the Bacon Zombies, I have a solution. For the past years, I’ve noticed the growing number of drivers who don’t even slow down at the sight of a stop sign. My remedy would be to have a basket of bacon at each stop sign. With such a high percentage of bacon lovers in the population, I see this as a win-win situation.

By the way, how many Bacon Zombies does it take to change a light bulb? We’ll never know. They just keep on talking bacon — in the dark.

TOM TOTIN
Bloomfield
The writer is chef/​host of COOKSPEAK podcast on talkshoe.com (twitter@cookspeaktom).


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