Gary Rotstein's The Morning File: Eaglets squawk about their sibling rivalry

Share with others:

Print Email Read Later

The Morning File speculated previously on what we'd hear from those enchanting eagle parents in Hays if the live cam that has been focused on their nest -- viewed more than a million times now -- included some audio interpretation.

With their three eaglets all hatched, it's time to hear what the young'uns might have to say about their entry into a world where fratricide is all too common:

Eaglet 1: Hey, move over -- you're crowding my space.

Eaglet 2: Move over yourself! Mom said I could have this part of the nest.

Eaglet 1: I was here first!

Eaglet 3: Will you two pipe down -- it's hard enough getting some sleep around here, with the raccoons and hawks coming around to try to get us.

Eaglet 2: Awww, look who's scared. You ought to be ashamed to call yourself an eagle. Get some nobility, little baby.

Eaglet 3: I'm telling Dad you said that when he gets back from fishing!

Eaglet 1: You're both so annoying -- I can't believe Mom hatched more than one egg.

Eaglet 2: And you're so selfish, trying to hog this big nest. There's plenty of room for more than you, and plenty of food, too, if Dad ever gets back here.

Eaglet 1: We'll see about that.

Eaglet 3: Wait ... what does that mean?

Eaglet 1: You'll find out soon enough.

Eaglet 3: You're scaring me again. What's he talking about?

Eaglet 2: He means that sometimes when there are too many eaglets, someone's got to be sacrificed for the good of the others' survival. It's a tradition. Since you're the youngest and smallest, I'm guessing he's talking about you, little baby.

Eaglet 3: Waaaah!

Eaglet 1: Oh, be quiet, nobody's getting kicked out of the nest yet ... unless you keep crying like that.

Eaglet 3: But Mom and Dad will protect me -- I know they will.

Eaglet 2: Yeah, you just keep thinking that. They've been through this before, you know -- they're masters at pretending they love you and then turning off the emotions when someone's got to go.

Eaglet 3: There must be something I can do.

Eaglet 1: Well, yeah, duh -- you could learn to fly and take off on your own.

Eaglet 3: Do what?

Eaglet 1: Just take a running start, flap your wings, and take off. It's an innate trait -- we all do it eventually.

Eaglet 3: But we're a good 60 feet off the ground. I'd be crippled for life!

Eaglet 2: Let me know when you're gonna do it, so I can watch. The hits on the live camera should go through the roof, too. You'll be a smash! Ha, get it?

Eaglet 1: Just fly like an eagle, little bro. You'll become a legend, as the baby eagle who flew within weeks instead of months. If you're lucky, Disney will make an animated film about you.

Eaglet 3: But I like it here in the nest. It's homey. Mom and Dad are always hovering to keep it warm and bring us food.

Eaglet 2: You think that's going to last forever? Last night, when they thought we were all asleep, I heard them talking about how much they were looking forward to being empty nesters. They can't wait to be rid of us.

Eaglet 3: I don't believe you.

Eaglet 2: Believe what you want, little baby.

Eaglet 3: I don't want to die yet. I've seen so little of Pittsburgh -- just the Monongahela River. Is this river why everyone calls the area so scenic?

Eaglet 1: Um, I don't think so.

Eaglet 2: You'd think Mom and Dad would have wanted to nest on the Allegheny. Dad's probably just a moron who got lost.

Eaglet 1: Once I'm flying, I'm going to go set up on Washington's Landing. You're out in the river, but it's real close to town. I hear the local athletes like living down there, too.

Eaglet 3: Can I come with you, if I'm still alive?

Eaglet 2: Ha, we're sticking you on Neville Island, baby -- you can spend your free time diving around the Alcosan plant. Have fun!

Eaglet 3: Waaah, I'm telling Dad!

Eaglet 2: And I'll tell Mom what a baby you've been, and she's bigger than Dad, so she can kick his --

Eaglet 1: All right, that's enough, everybody. We've just got a couple more months to try to get along together, and maybe we'll make it without anyone crying or dying. But there's just one thing you guys have to do.

Eaglet 3: What's that?

Eaglet 1: Move over, 'cause I was here first.

Gary Rotstein: or 412-263-1255.

Join the conversation:

Commenting policy | How to report abuse
To report inappropriate comments, abuse and/or repeat offenders, please send an email to and include a link to the article and a copy of the comment. Your report will be reviewed in a timely manner. Thank you.
Commenting policy | How to report abuse


Create a free PG account.
Already have an account?