For those who would like to see a Super Bowl in Pittsburgh

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A Super Bowl game in Pittsburgh? With a little yinzernuity, why not? Consider:

Stadium capacity: By the time the Big Game rolls around there’s a 50/​50 chance the Rooneys will have extracted a shiny new taxpayer-funded stadium to replace antiquated Heinz Field. Failing that, just trade the yellow seats for back-benched bleachers. The space saved from armrests should add room for a thousand or so extra fannies.

Practice facilities: AFC team uses the Steelers’ South Side facility; NFC team chooses from Consol Energy Center, the Neville Island bubble or Century III Mall.

Hotel rooms: Any shortfall can be made up by incentivizing Pittsburgh-area families to remove the folding chairs and open their doors to guests; 15,000 instant bed-and-breakfasts ought to do the trick.

Air accommodations: The city of Houston clinched its Super Bowl due in part to the promise of a dedicated airport runway for guests. With the lack of traffic at Pittsburgh International, we can do one better. Pittsburgh can offer the NFL two runways, six gates and a taxi squad to be named later.

Let’s do it, Pittsburgh!

DAN SKANTAR
North Fayette


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