Friday, December 05, 2003

By Barbara Vancheri, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

December brings its share of bombs -- "Gigli," "Alex & Emma" and "The Order" -- along with blockbusters such as "Bad Boys II," "Seabiscuit" and "Freaky Friday." As you can see in the listings to the left, this week's releases include "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," one of the movies that finally put Johnny Depp at the top of Hollywood's heap.

	New this week: "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" -- Disney proved it could take an amusement park attraction and turn it into a hit with this movie starring Johnny Depp as the charming Capt. Jack Sparrow and Geoffrey Rush as his nemesis. "Alien Quadrilogy" -- Fox Home Entertainment has issued a nine-disc collection with newly available versions of each movie plus many bonus features. Suggested retail price is $99.98. "Cuckoo" -- In giving this movie four stars, the PG's Barry Paris wrote that "Russian director Alexander Rogozhkin's 'Cuckoo' is a riveting, enormously entertaining allegory of that clash between humanity and insanity otherwise known as war." This subtitled film takes place in northern Finland in September 1944. "The Land Before Time: The Great Longneck Migration" -- The 10th installment of the billion-dollar animated franchise features the voices of Kiefer Sutherland, James Garner and Bernadette Peters, along with Olivia Newton-John songs. In honor of the 15th anniversary of the series, Universal Studios Home Video also is issuing a special-edition DVD of the original. "Beethoven's 5th" -- Speaking of long-running franchises, the St. Bernard is back in this adventure about a long-buried 1920s fortune. "Little Polar Bear" -- This full-length animated feature, based on the popular children's book series, teaches the meaning of friendship between a polar bear and a seal. "1 Love" -- Director Leon Gast examines how the game of basketball has evolved into a worldwide favorite in this documentary interviewing current and former players, including Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson and Jason Kidd. "The Ben Stiller Show" -- It was only a dozen episodes long, but this series developed a cult following and now is on a two-disc set that also includes one bonus, unaired episode. Stiller says, "I've been asking them for years to do this and when I saw the special boxed DVD set of 'Saved by the Bell,' I knew we had a chance." "The Jamie Kennedy Experiment: The Complete First Season" -- Seventeen episodes from the comedy series are bundled, with Kennedy commentary on select shows.

DEC. 9

"Bad Boys II" -- This sequel reunites the key team from 1995's "Bad Boys": director Michael Bay and stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, who play Miami narcotics detectives. This action picture about the pursuit of a Cuban drug lord is shot through with over-the-top stunts, artistically composed shots and a heavy dose of violence. DVD includes seven deleted scenes, sequence breakdowns and production diaries.

"Gigli" -- This Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez mob romp met with dismal box office numbers and withering reviews. The DVD, by the way, has virtually nothing extra of any substance.

"How to Deal" -- Pop star turned actress Mandy Moore plays a teen with a cynical view of love in a movie adapted from two Sarah Dessen novels. It follows the leading character through a school year packed with enough stress-inducing events for a pair of films.

"Assassination Tango" -- Robert Duvall multitasks as writer, producer, director and star of a seductive thriller whose cast also includes Ruben Blades, Kathy Bates and newcomer Luciana Pedraza. Duvall is a veteran hitman who has just received his toughest assignment: Travel to Buenos Aires, take down a corrupt general and be back in America in less than three days.

"The Battle of Shaker Heights" -- This is the result of HBO's "Project Greenlight," which documented the making of a movie -- and the near-unmaking of a novice writer and directors.

Also: "Firefly -- The Complete Series DVD"; fifth seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "M*A*S*H"; and on Dec. 11, "Horatio Hornblower: The New Adventures."

DEC. 16

"Seabiscuit" -- Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges and Chris Cooper star in this adaptation of the best-selling book about a down-and-out racehorse that helped them and the nation triumph over adversity during the Depression. A two-disc set includes footage from the legendary Seabiscuit-War Admiral race along with commentaries, interviews and on-set photos taken by Bridges.

"Freaky Friday" -- Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan are squabbling mother and teenage daughter who, through some mystical mayhem, become trapped in the other's body.

"Rugrats Go Wild" -- It's two TV franchises in one, as the Rugrats crew finds themselves shipwrecked on what they think is a deserted island. Turns out it's where the Thornberrys have set up camp, and all sorts of near-calamities occur in this animated adventure.

"The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" -- A half-dozen remarkable men and one woman are recruited to stop a possible world war in 1899 in this movie based on a series of comic books. The league includes adventurer Allan Quatermain (lead Sean Connery), Captain Nemo, vampire Mina Harker, an invisible man, Tom Sawyer, Dorian Gray and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.

"Barney's Happy, Mad, Silly, Sad: Putting a Face to Feelings!" -- Barney's back with a direct-to-video release designed to help preschoolers understand their emotions and express them in healthy ways.

Also: "Beyond the Movie -- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," a National Geographic special narrated by John Rhys-Davies; "44 Minutes," a dramatization of a 1997 Hollywood robbery in which two heavily armed men held 50-plus cops at bay for 44 minutes; "South Park: The Complete Third Season"; and three racing titles, "NASCAR Winston Cup Series 2003 Year in Review," "Tony Stewart: Smoke" and "Collector's Edition: A Decade at the Brickyard."

DEC. 23

"Alex & Emma"-- Kate Hudson and Luke Wilson star in this oddly flat romantic comedy. She's a Boston stenographer hired by a desperate writer to help him complete a novel in 30 days.

"Anything Else" -- Woody Allen wrote and directed this romantic comedy about a young writer (Jason Biggs) in New York who falls for an unpredictable free spirit (Christina Ricci). Allen has a supporting role in this movie that doesn't hold a candle to his best work.

"The Medallion" -- The title of this Jackie Chan movie refers to an amulet that can resurrect people after they die and confer immortality. As with Chan's movie "The Tuxedo," this picture uses computer effects to "enhance" -- or substitute for -- Chan's legitimate martial-arts skills.

"Jeepers Creepers 2"-- The Creeper, who feeds on humans every 23rd spring for 23 days, is back and this time a group of stranded high schoolers are whetting his awful appetite. The movie's pretty awful, too.

"Crime Spree" -- An out-of-town heist becomes a nightmare for a crew of French burglars when they mistakenly rob the head of the Chicago Mafia in this movie with Gerard Depardieu, Harvey Keitel and Johnny Hallyday.

"L'Auberge Espagnole (The Spanish Apartment)" -- French director Cedric Klapisch creates a microcosm of New Europe among a group of college exchange students sharing an apartment in Barcelona. Audrey Tautou, who won moviegoers' hearts as "Amelie," is among the stars of this comedy.

"I Capture the Castle" -- This movie, based on a Dodie Smith novel, never opened in Pittsburgh theaters. It follows a 17-year-old and her eccentric family, struggling to survive in a decaying English castle.

DEC. 30

"S.W.A.T." --A team of veterans and rookies are assigned to transport an international drug kingpin to federal custody after he's offered $100 million to anyone who will free him in this big-screen version of the TV show with Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, Michelle Rodriguez and LL Cool J.

"The Order" -- Heath Ledger is a priest from an arcane order called to investigate the death of his mentor in this so-called religious thriller that one reviewer denounced as "little more than a series of random plot points and religious babble, mixed up together and spit onto the screen in no particular order."

"Northfork" -- Mark and Michael Polish, creators of "Twin Falls Idaho" and "Jackpot," set this haunting movie in 1955 on the Montana Plains two days before the town of Northfork will be wiped off the map by a new dam. With a cast that includes James Woods and Nick Nolte, it ponders how people leave the only place they've ever known, whether that's a town or a life.

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